very confused and anxious- advice needed

[[wa...]]

Hello- Its hard to know where to begin.

It looks like I joined this site in 2016?

I only really know I have been tapering on and off since then.

I have been on and off of Clonazepam for about 15 years.

At times I have updosed, then gone down again, but never kept track of amounts.

Recently I have been holding at about 60-75 mg a day, taking it once a day (mornings, when I have the worst anxiety) and then suffering terrible symptoms in the early evenings, probably when it has worn off?

I get absolute terror and depression when this happens.

Also- I have gone from 200 mg of Zoloft to about 60, over time since 2016.

 

Current events had me updosing again, in a nutshell- my mother was very ill with Parkinson's and passed away, I have type 1 diabetes and have been struggling to manage that, and struggling to manage regular life events, I had a job that was too stressful, broke up with a longtime partner, among other things. 5 days ago a longtime friend passed away and I have to attend a funeral tomorrow and its in the morning when I have the most anxiety and I am going to have to power my way through it.

 

Just a few days ago I bought a scale so I can try to be more methodical about this.

 

Really I am terrified and alone and just need some validation that I am not insane and that withdrawal is real and it is making me feel crazy.

I have hoped to find a doctor to help with this process but any doctor I go to just tells me I should take the medication if I need it. I really want my brain back. I know there was a time before I took these things that I didn't feel this way.

 

So as of today, I am starting at 75 mg. I cut a few pills down to that weight and am going to try cutting down a little more in 7 days.

If anyone has any advice or even a kind word at all, I would be extremely grateful.

 

Thanks for reading.

[[Bl...]]

Just want to send support and tell you I'm sorry have been been through so much and are continuing to face many hardships!!! I'm rooting for you from the sidelines! You can do this!!

❤,

BLL

[[Ca...]]

Hi,

Sorry things are rough for you, both meds and life.. Am sending strength for tomorrow and hope you have some great memories of your friend to hold on to..

 

I wish you the best as you try to find that taper speed and method that suits you, and that any adjustments along the way go smoothly... 

 

I like your little phrase under your avatar pic...

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Water, I am so sorry you have been through so much.  My heart breaks for you.  There is information on bb on the Homepage that might can help you decide a good taper for you.  Just scroll down and you will see the taper section.  My only suggestion, is please take things slowly, if you are careful and monitor your symptoms, hopefully you will find a way that works for you and your body.

You have been through so much and are still facing other things.  Slow and steady......reach out with any questions you have.  A place I think is really underused is the search section, on the Homepage also.  Please read the Ashton Manual....just a heads up, her speed is too fast for many of us but works for others.  We are all here for you.  Mary 🍀🍀🍀🍀

[[pi...]]

Hello water804,

 

I'm very sorry you've been through so much.  Grieving the loss of loved ones and friends takes time, it is a step by step process.  I went through it with the death of my parents, my brother in law and my dearest friend of over 30 years.

 

We want to help you and offer the best advice we can, based on our own experiences.

 

Would you mind clarifying something? What medication are you taking  75mg of?

 

Have you had a chance to read the Ashton Manual? It does provide a lot of good information about tapering.  I'll give you a link for easy access.

 

The Ashton Manual

 

One step at a time and you'll get there and yes, withdrawal is real.  Tapering is doable, with a good sensible plan.

 

pianogirl 

[[wa...]]

Thanks everyone for your replies, I am very grateful for others who know what this is like.

The medications I am tapering off of are Clonazepam and Zoloft. I am down to .075g of the Clonazepam. I am having a harder time cutting and measuring the pills with the Zoloft. This morning I took .089g of Zoloft.