Almost done. Hit a wall

[[Li...]]

Looking for encouragement and advice.

 

I am down to 2,8 mg oxazepam (1,4 V) and just hit a wall. Last week I had 4 days of feeling normal and then suddenly I was in a black hole. I've been fighting so hard and feel so helpless now.

 

My story.

Was prescribed oxazepam while adjusting to Effexor 15 months ago, 4*15 mg. Never made me feel good, only tired. Since my anxiety and depression didn't lift I was told to continue taking the benzo. Nevertheless I started tapering becaused I felt the benzo was causing me harm. Was down to 20 mg in January when I was ordered by a doctor to up my dose to 45 mg! Didn't make me feel better. Continued to taper and was down to 30 in March. Held while adjusting ADs. My anxiety and depression didn't get better. Came in waves and windows, partly caused by the benzo I believe. In the beginning of July I continued my taper. Has been going OK. Still waves and windows. When I reached 3,2 mg my wd sxs became intolerable. My sleep got disturbed (the one thing I've been able to count on) and anxiety and depression went through the roof. I'm more or less bedridden and my parents take turns staying with me while my husband takes care of our kids. I feel like I'm in acute wd although I'm still on a low dose. Updose isn't an option for me, since benzos have never made me feel good. I'm wondering if I should hold at this dose or rip the band-aid off in a few steps and finish my taper within two weeks (Ashtons rate). I welcome any positive comments.

 

 

[[Mo...]]

I'm sorry you are going through this. 

 

I can only tell you that I'm in severe acute with many months of tapering ahead of me (at 7.2 mg V equiv) and I have no choice but to keep going.  You can try to slow down but I think when you get this way, you just have to push through, but maybe you could just keep going and do a little slower?  Can you microtaper it?  There have been no windows for me.  I went too fast early on, then held and got into severe tolerance.  Since restarting my taper, I've slowed down, held, etc to see if it would help once worsening symptoms came but not so much help. 

 

It's quite common for people to go into acute once they get low but you are almost there!!! Way to go on a nice taper. 

 

[[va...]]

Only in September you have gone from 8 to 3? That's way too fast. No wonder you're in acute wd. I would go for a dose correction, wait a few weeks or months to stabilize, and then resume a much slower taper. You'll get different opinions. Get your husband and parents help you decide. When was in acute wd I couldn't think clearly. I was tapering too fast, but not that fast. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

[[Mi...]]

I’m no expert, but I feel like you are sooo. Close to finishing and because you’ve never felt ok on the Benzo (like myself...my doc also tried to get me to take 10mg of Valium and slowly taper the ox - no way!) keep going. How long have you been bed ridden? Is it worse since you’ve started a faster taper? I know the feeling of wanting to be done.

 

The benzos definitely screwed me up more than I ever thought. I ended up on an SSRI and that made everything worse for me. I feel like the combo of benzos and other psych meds are a recipe for disaster from my own personal experience. I feel so much better now that I am not on any other psych meds. Even though tapering sucks and I barely sleep, am depressed and shaken I know I will feel so much better once I don’t have to take a pill.

 

That is amazing you have so much support over there! You are lucky to have that and a family who cares about and supports you Lilly!

[[ea...]]

I am sort of baffled here but will say a couple things. And this is ONLY a personal opinion, not one "written in stone", because NOTHING about benzo withdrawal IS known to be true. All of us just guess, we roll the dice and hope we made the best decisions. All we have is words on a screen, and all of you know just how dangerous that can be.

I seldom suggest holds, but I think you might want to do that. I would NOT updose, as it will not help you a bit. Seems like some people are super sensitive to benzos. They don't get much relief from them but can easily suffer a bad benzo wd. I don't know why this is but I have seen it over and over on this forum. You probably know by now that no matter what you do, you may have wd symptoms. My best guess is that you hold for a few days and then go back to a slower taper.

I would also encourage you to get OUT of your bed and move about if only for a short while. Lying in bed only seems to make wd a lot worse, since you tend to focus your entire mind on how bad you feel. You need to find some ways to distract yourself from it all. Find something sort of tedious but something that engages your mind. I just read a lovely post about a woman who crochets to do this. I strung tiny beads. Someone else used to color books. And one fellow got a piece of heavy sisal rope and painstakingly unraveled it for weeks! I know, kind of funny, but anything that gets your mind OFF benzo withdrawal is a GOOD thing!

east

[[Li...]]

It's quite common for people to go into acute once they get low but you are almost there!!! Way to go on a nice taper.

 

Thank you for the encouragement. I will be holding for a while and slowing down. Good luck to you!

[[Li...]]

I’m no expert, but I feel like you are sooo. Close to finishing and because you’ve never felt ok on the Benzo (like myself...my doc also tried to get me to take 10mg of Valium and slowly taper the ox - no way!) keep going. How long have you been bed ridden? Is it worse since you’ve started a faster taper? I know the feeling of wanting to be done.

 

That is amazing you have so much support over there! You are lucky to have that and a family who cares about and supports you Lilly!

 

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. I've been bedridden more or less for 6 days now. Feel slightly better in the evenings. Thank God. Last week I had a 4 day window (fantastic!) but prior to that I have felt anxious and depressed in the mornings but could function in the afternoons and evenings. And yes, my family is the best. My mother is taking time off her work to be by my side.

 

Today I realized that this wave came after I titrated Lamictal to 50 mg. After consulting with my doctor I will take 25 mg tonight. Hope that helps.

[[Li...]]

I am sort of baffled here but will say a couple things. And this is ONLY a personal opinion, not one "written in stone", because NOTHING about benzo withdrawal IS known to be true. All of us just guess, we roll the dice and hope we made the best decisions. All we have is words on a screen, and all of you know just how dangerous that can be.

I seldom suggest holds, but I think you might want to do that. I would NOT updose, as it will not help you a bit. Seems like some people are super sensitive to benzos. They don't get much relief from them but can easily suffer a bad benzo wd. I don't know why this is but I have seen it over and over on this forum. You probably know by now that no matter what you do, you may have wd symptoms. My best guess is that you hold for a few days and then go back to a slower taper.

I would also encourage you to get OUT of your bed and move about if only for a short while. Lying in bed only seems to make wd a lot worse, since you tend to focus your entire mind on how bad you feel. You need to find some ways to distract yourself from it all. Find something sort of tedious but something that engages your mind. I just read a lovely post about a woman who crochets to do this. I strung tiny beads. Someone else used to color books. And one fellow got a piece of heavy sisal rope and painstakingly unraveled it for weeks! I know, kind of funny, but anything that gets your mind OFF benzo withdrawal is a GOOD thing!

east

Thank you for your advice. Will hokd for a while and slow down a bit. I won't updose unless it is a matter of life or death. I do try to get out of bed as much as I can. Managed to make dinner for my family tonight. Now watching TV.