OCD/Anger

[[bo...]]

I'm starting to wonder if quitting benzos has taken my manageable levels of OCD and made them a million times worse. All day I work I obsess about not wanting to go home because of the fear of being around my daughter/wife or just the fear of being at home. It's a fear with intrusive thoughts that then usually leads to anger? I can't tell whether the anger is coming from the OCD, the sleep debt I've accumulated, or just emotional changes from the benzo. I can honestly say I do feel angry all day at work at basically everybody who approaches me.

 

What's so hard about this is I've tried ERP therapy or exposure therapy. I spent three days taking care of my daughter without my wife at my parent's house and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But then my wife came back and we resumed our lives and the anxiety stays exactly the same.

 

I'm seriously wondering if taking an antidepressant of some kind could help with the obsessive thoughts or if I should continue waiting for a change. The really bad suicidal ideation has gone and I know for a fact that was a result of the benzo. But I get depressed because I can't live normally and enjoy any time with my family. I can't enjoy anytime at work because of the obsessive thoughts and anger. I'm just lost after 18 months off this garbage.

[[th...]]

I'm starting to wonder if quitting benzos has taken my manageable levels of OCD and made them a million times worse. All day I work I obsess about not wanting to go home because of the fear of being around my daughter/wife or just the fear of being at home. It's a fear with intrusive thoughts that then usually leads to anger? I can't tell whether the anger is coming from the OCD, the sleep debt I've accumulated, or just emotional changes from the benzo. I can honestly say I do feel angry all day at work at basically everybody who approaches me.

 

What's so hard about this is I've tried ERP therapy or exposure therapy. I spent three days taking care of my daughter without my wife at my parent's house and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But then my wife came back and we resumed our lives and the anxiety stays exactly the same.

 

I'm seriously wondering if taking an antidepressant of some kind could help with the obsessive thoughts or if I should continue waiting for a change. The really bad suicidal ideation has gone and I know for a fact that was a result of the benzo. But I get depressed because I can't live normally and enjoy any time with my family. I can't enjoy anytime at work because of the obsessive thoughts and anger. I'm just lost after 18 months off this garbage.

 

You've debated this a number of times. You started on Remeron, but randomly, if I recall correctly. That's an option, what is holding you back?

[[bo...]]

I'm scared to take anything because of my experience with benzos. My sleep isn't as bad now. It's the OCD and anger that are very bad.

[[th...]]

I'm scared to take anything because of my experience with benzos. My sleep isn't as bad now. It's the OCD and anger that are very bad.

 

Every drug has its tradeoffs. You just have to decide if the side effects are less problematic than the issues you are having. I would be careful not to put all drugs into the benzo category. That said, psych meds are known to cause a lot of issues.

 

Good luck!

[[...]]

I'm starting to wonder if quitting benzos has taken my manageable levels of OCD and made them a million times worse. All day I work I obsess about not wanting to go home because of the fear of being around my daughter/wife or just the fear of being at home. It's a fear with intrusive thoughts that then usually leads to anger? I can't tell whether the anger is coming from the OCD, the sleep debt I've accumulated, or just emotional changes from the benzo. I can honestly say I do feel angry all day at work at basically everybody who approaches me.

 

What's so hard about this is I've tried ERP therapy or exposure therapy. I spent three days taking care of my daughter without my wife at my parent's house and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But then my wife came back and we resumed our lives and the anxiety stays exactly the same.

 

I'm seriously wondering if taking an antidepressant of some kind could help with the obsessive thoughts or if I should continue waiting for a change. The really bad suicidal ideation has gone and I know for a fact that was a result of the benzo. But I get depressed because I can't live normally and enjoy any time with my family. I can't enjoy anytime at work because of the obsessive thoughts and anger. I'm just lost after 18 months off this garbage.

 

I’m not sure what other answers you’re looking for you haven’t seen before, I know you’ve gotten tons of advise both ways.  Try a med or don’t. Personally I’d give NAC a shot as I’ve mentioned before trying an antidepressant.

[[su...]]

My bf came off benzos several years ago and dealt with anger which he still has some but it could be a lot of things causing that. During w/d it was very bad but he suggested a blood pressure medicine might help. He read somewhere in w/d it can be used. It may just help more during acute but he says when my symptoms get worse my face gets red and he is sure its blood pressure. I might look into it.

[[bo...]]

I've read about beta blockers for anger; however, my pulse and blood pressure are perfectly fine while feeling this anger. Basically, all that's happened for me as far as change goes is the suicidal ideation has turned to anger/rage. I don't know what's worse honestly. No way to relieve either in my experience. Little stressors or decisions that would lead to suicidal ideation before now lead to anger. For instance, today I cooked eggs and had to make the decision to save the remaining eggs or leave them in the pan and it made me feel panic and then rage. This is the same thing that occurred with suicidal ideation before it turned to rage. Little decisions would make me feel suicidal. Now it's all rage and it's scary.

[[th...]]

I've read about beta blockers for anger; however, my pulse and blood pressure are perfectly fine while feeling this anger. Basically, all that's happened for me as far as change goes is the suicidal ideation has turned to anger/rage. I don't know what's worse honestly. No way to relieve either in my experience. Little stressors or decisions that would lead to suicidal ideation before now lead to anger. For instance, today I cooked eggs and had to make the decision to save the remaining eggs or leave them in the pan and it made me feel panic and then rage. This is the same thing that occurred with suicidal ideation before it turned to rage. Little decisions would make me feel suicidal. Now it's all rage and it's scary.

 

Personally, I'll take rage over suicidal ideation any day. But, neither is good. I don't recall, are you exercising? When I get anxious/angry, I just get down and knock out a bunch of pushups. Obviously not a great solution if you are at work or out and about.

[[bo...]]

I've only been walking, honestly.

[[th...]]

I've only been walking, honestly.

 

The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs has a section on exercise for depression:

 

https://www.amazon.com/Depression-Cure-6-Step-Program-without/dp/0738213888/

[[Ch...]]

Have you gotten any counseling for the anger issues? 

[[Pe...]]

I've read about beta blockers for anger; however, my pulse and blood pressure are perfectly fine while feeling this anger. Basically, all that's happened for me as far as change goes is the suicidal ideation has turned to anger/rage. I don't know what's worse honestly. No way to relieve either in my experience. Little stressors or decisions that would lead to suicidal ideation before now lead to anger. For instance, today I cooked eggs and had to make the decision to save the remaining eggs or leave them in the pan and it made me feel panic and then rage. This is the same thing that occurred with suicidal ideation before it turned to rage. Little decisions would make me feel suicidal. Now it's all rage and it's scary.

 

I deal with something veryyy similar. Tiny decisions control me. All day long. Did I wash my hands enough after touching literally anything? Did I put the leftovers in the fridge while they were still warm leaving me at risk for food poisoning...the list goes on and on and on. When I get in these battles in my mind I become severely anxious and depressed. Mine isn’t anger but I feel it’s all relative. I pick my face into sores when I’m that anxious. It’s a constant cycle of thoughts, reactions and consequences of those reactions. It’s hell. I’m really sorry and no one here can offer a solution, just support. We are the only ones who can try whatever we feel may work. I have found mindfulness to be most helpful but it’s helping less lately as my symptoms are pretty extreme.