wonder if im just unlucky

[[cr...]]

I've had the withdrawal syndrome for so long and the severity of symptoms has sustained itself far beyond any time period I've ever expected. I'm protracted officially, which makes me really depressed and wonder if there's something wrong with me that isn't allowing me to heal. I was packing boxes at my old apartment getting ready to move into a new place in the next month or so when this wave of darkness enveloped me. Had to take a break and get my head together. Then the physical symptoms closed in and I ended up on the floor again. I wonder if I'm ever gonna get better. My windows are almost non existent and refuse to stick. My waves are as acute like as ever. I see other people healing, which makes me wonder if I'm just unlucky. Maybe I've got bad genes. My neurotransmitters are still fried.

[[Su...]]

I don’t think you’re unlucky or doing anything wrong, I think protracted withdrawal is much more common than is officially acknowledged. I’m 27 months off and expected to be healed by at latest 18 months, but that didn’t happen and I’m still battling symptoms. However I am seeing improvements and bit by bit symptoms are leaving me. I’ve got a way to go though, and I’ve come to accept that benzo withdrawal can just take a few years in many cases. I believe it will end however. Hang in there

[[Ma...]]

That is what we tend to think when we suffer for a long time, that something has to be wrong or we are doomed or unlucky but I do not think that this is really the truth. I have read your other post about the apartment and when they build that new street in front of the house with the smell and so on I thought this could have been me, so "typical for Marigold". Cause I react on anything, I hear anything, sense anything - and no one else. It seems.

But it only seems so. I think the truth is, that we are in a condition/position in which we just NOTICE all the shit that is happening. Others with a normal life just notice for a second and then focus on something else. But we had to deal with so many symptoms and its such a lonely road to go... that anything new or something with an effect on symptoms .. makes the situation even worse and of course we just fall into depression then.

I am sending you a hug, cause I know exactly how you feel, but I know better days will come. Keep my fingers crossed for you that you will be happy in the new apartment!

Marigold

[[...]]

Same boat, 17 months off and getting worse. I hold onto my faith it’s wd. 1 day at a time is all we can do.