Almost 3 months off and stuck ..little to no progress..need support

[[re...]]

I know I'm only off 76 days off  from my last benzo and was hoping to see some progress. For the 1st week or two I was feeling a bit better. My overriding symptom is severe brain crushing tinnitus. Add on top of that bad head aches and lots of body pain. The tinnitus has been with me 24/7 since the rapid taper the VA had me do until I collapsed in a seizure 47 days later and then reinstated at .25mg of clonopin last Oct. I've been in the hell now for 14 months. Day in and day out. Mostly bedridden. My health was good to excellent before I begin this taper and I was pretty fit for my age. Today I'm a mess.

 

I keep seeing and reading I will heal. I hold onto that hope as tight as I can. I see a special is coming up on Lisa Ling on CNNon Oct 6th about what we are going through. I hope its good because most of us go through this along and friends and family don't understand this and maybe this can shed some light on what we are experiencing. I need support that this will pass. WHn oyu are sick like we are with these benzo brain injuries our days are not fast. The are marathon days lasting a long time so 6 months to a year to heal seems a long ways away and frankly I'm burning days of my life in ruin instead of living and that mkes me very angry as well.

 

My wish looking back is when I asked the VA psychiatrist who met me once before the taper he had me do said he didn't know how to taper a person off and I should seek help elsewhere. His ego wouldn't let him do that so his ego and his terrible advice put me in this hell. I wish I knew then what I know now. So much of this I believe could have been avoided.

[[cl...]]

I'm now thirteen months post Klonopin withdrawl after an initial thirteen month taper. In late July / early August after going through a significant WINDOW I thought I had finally developed a new and improved baseline. Unfortunately I was greeted with a MASSIVE WAVE in late August which is now where I currently sit.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have surrendered to looking for daily / weekly changes after the afformentioned event and will now try and focus soley on "Three Month" or quarterly  changes. I have also personaly surrendered to this process taking far longer than I originally thought. I just can't get my hopes again as I previously did in late July / early August only to ultimately get smacked down again..."Non linear healing bites".

 

I'm hoping you HEAL faster then me as I was on a cocktail of drugs for over seventeen years..."Hang in there" and please let us know how your doing.