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Are success stories truly success stories?


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I've been reading success stories daily, for some reason decided to look at the authors last posts, and find that some who have written success stories come back and post another addendum saying the symptoms aren't coMpletley over or the withdrawal comes back. Can any old timer here reassur me that it's  possible that once it's over it can last? Success stories usually gives me hope but after discovering these "just kidding", I finding myself in despair again. Sorry for being a downer.
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i have seen that too but most of those people admit to drinking or using GABA acting supplements - which caused the set backs - or they were on other medications that they stopped and now feeling the full impact of withdrawal - i'm more than 2 years out and thriving in a way i never imagined..... i posted 2 success stories - the first at 6 months and the second at a year.     

 

around 18 months i tried a third a glass of wine and didn't have any bad reaction - so then the next month i had a half a glass of wine - and ok.  so now on special occasions i have a glass of wine but otherwise don't drink as NOTHING is worth ever having a setback into withdrawal..... when you reclaim your life - try not to risk it!  i lost 8 yrs of my life to these meds...... life without them is wonderful.....  there is no easy way off these - and seeking relief (which is understandable) through use of gaba acting substances likely only prolongs / prevents healing..... there will be some truly awful months that you think you won't be able to survive - but you will - and you will see how strong you truly are - and everything in life will seem easy after getting through it......  i thought i had lost everything - had to sell my house - couldn't work - my body was destroyed on the inside and out - but i put myself together - i am holding my high pressure executive job again, bought my dream home, back together with my boyfriend , rescued 2 puppies - things just keep getting better :)

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SSR,

 

(I used to be 'Rubylove' on here.) This news made my day! I am so happy you're still doing well, my friend! I cannot tell you how much it means to hear about your new life. It gives me so much hope for the future.

 

I'm still having a very hard time, but holding on to the vision - I'll be following in your footsteps. It would be lovely if you could continue updating us occasionally.

 

Beautiful wishes to you.

 

Wildflower

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SSR,

 

Wow, thank you so much for that post. You have no idea how much hope you have just given me! There should be more like you who come back and update us those that are still in the thick of it. I wake up everyday not knowing how much longer it's going to be and how long the torture will last, but it's people like you that's able to shine the light in the dark woods. So, thank you again.

 

 

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I'm 2 months and 1 day post-jump and I'm absolutely recovering. It's a non-linear thing - I have some bad days still but comparatively speaking it's very clear I have more good days than bad now.

 

For me the key is action. I have to stay active - working, going to the gym, doing everything I used to do. This isn't always pleasant when I don't feel good, but the moments of discomfort usually fade if I can focus my attention on the activity or task at hand. Remaining idle on the couch is a sure fire way to feel bad for me. If I'm just marinating on my own sloth I have plenty of time to focus on what hurts or doesn't feel right, especially in the morning.

 

For what it's worth I go to the gym every day - weights usually 5x a week and cardio 2x or 3x a week. I don't drink alcohol ever and eat mostly non-processed foods.

 

I didn't sleep at all last night which was horrible, but that's not normal for me and I just take it as a rough spot on the path. It's going to happen. I try not to focus on it and I keep moving forward.

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so happy to provide hope.  i really thought i wasn't going to make it and nearly took my life on 2 occasions.  i had to endure two 8 hour long cardiac surgeries, it felt like life was over at 42...... after i had worked so hard my whole life ...... i promise - if you eat clean, avoid gaba acting products, try your best to keep a positive outlook - healing happens - i promise healing is happening when there is ZERO sign of it .    i went from looking like a model and 10 yrs younger to looking horrific.... i'm nearly 6 ft tall and was a size 4 when i had to cold turkey due to paradoxical reactions - i went down to 115 pounds - you could see every bone - i lost 1/2 my hair- my face was riddled with severe cystic acne..... i couldn't work for 6 months -  really seemed like i had lost everything - but then i started to turn the corner. 

 

distraction and acceptance truly are key.    find really good books to lose yourself in or time will stand still.  try to be around family if you can.  the agoraphobia was so bad i couldnt leave my house but when i had to sell it - i moved in with my twin and 2 nieces.  their unconditional love meant the world - even though i know everyone in my family truly thought i was having a nervous breakdown ....it stunk having no one believe me but i knew it had been the meds making me so sick and caused the horrific withdrawal ........ as i described in my success story - several times i went 6-7 consecutive days with no sleep ..... never knew that was possible.....

 

i will offer a word of caution - while almost all success stories say exercise is essential to healing - for me - it made me much worse - i think when the adrenals are badly damaged - everything that is supposed to "help" has a paradoxical reaction....... i had to avoid it for 6 consecutive months ..... but then i was able to very gradually ease back in. 

 

rubylove/wildflower - so happy to hear from you - was worried i hadn't seen any posts from you in a long while.  sorry to hear healing progress is slow but don't give up the faith...... every night and morning i end and start my day giving thanks for my healing and praying everyone else who were innocent victims to these meds heal too..... i seriously cannot believe how beautiful my life is now.  to think i almost threw in the towel...... but like i said  - i bought my dream home, back in an amazing relationship, at the top of my career, back in great shape .... my two puppies give me more joy than i ever could have imagined..... hang in there.  healing will come

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[dc...]

One of the traits that anxious people have is perfectionism. In this case it may be described from my point of view like this:

 

Do people truly heal, you have seen this and that as described..... do you expect them to feel perfect for the rest of their lives as if they are growing younger? This sounds sarcastic but please bare with me. The one in withdrawal is highly likely to hang on to every bit of information they can get.

 

Do you expect a person that was highly anxious to completely and utterly shake the bad habit of perfectionism and not still occasionally over react to something, or report something that is less than perfect? Yes a recovered victim is very likely to over report health and mental issues.

 

So the recovered benzo victim (who is probably an anxious type)  will have a propensity to over report things. The reader who is also a benzo victim and prone to worry will be prone to expect close to perfection and then grab onto this bit of "disturbing news" and overthink it, over react - what have you...

 

It is extremely difficult not to read into things too much as a anxious person, worse still in post benzo recovery, but you need to consider not responding too much to every thought and emotion.

 

I have a long history with benzos and as usual it is a long, ugly, complex story, a real drama.... I am about 80% recovered at 17 months out. This could change, there is nothing I can do right now about the fact that I may have to still face several waves. I realise or believe I have to do a lot more work than most on watching my thinking habits and how I respond to life in every situation. There are several well documented and clearly identified worry habits that I need to learn to not do and learn to immediately see if I do act them out.

 

I am also learning about depression and expect to find a set of rules of things to watch out for, a set of rules of activities to avoid and a set of rules of a routine that I need to embrace and live by.

 

I am a specialist in a certain branch of manufacturing chemistry and I have lived and worked in seven different countries during my benzo nightmare - I did not travel when things got really serious - I ended up being a shareholder in a company and because of that I got away with what one would say is more than what most would get away with. I still ultimately put in more hours than a typical employee but my efficiency was pathetic for the last 8 years on benzos. I was a wreck, a curse to all who knew me, avoiding everyone, working and hiding at home, my poor wife saw the worst of it....

 

I have been improving at work since the taper and the jump.

 

We are getting older, it is not going to be perfect, we have bad habits of over thinking things and striving for control and perfection  - this revs up the anxiety and we need to compensate for that, find the best peace and joy we can, EVERY DAY.

 

Please do not wait for times, conditions, health, friends and circumstances etc. to be perfect, you will grow old just watching the clock tick instead of living.

 

I wish you every success and true objectivity to become enthusiastically aware of what you need to learn going forward.

 

 

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One of the traits that anxious people have is perfectionism. In this case it may be described from my point of view like this:

 

Do people truly heal, you have seen this and that as described..... do you expect them to feel perfect for the rest of their lives as if they are growing younger? This sounds sarcastic but please bare with me. The one in withdrawal is highly likely to hang on to every bit of information they can get.

 

Do you expect a person that was highly anxious to completely and utterly shake the bad habit of perfectionism and not still occasionally over react to something, or report something that is less than perfect? Yes a recovered victim is very likely to over report health and mental issues.

 

So the recovered benzo victim (who is probably an anxious type)  will have a propensity to over report things. The reader who is also a benzo victim and prone to worry will be prone to expect close to perfection and then grab onto this bit of "disturbing news" and overthink it, over react - what have you...

 

It is extremely difficult not to read into things too much as a anxious person, worse still in post benzo recovery, but you need to consider not responding too much to every thought and emotion.

 

I have a long history with benzos and as usual it is a long, ugly, complex story, a real drama.... I am about 80% recovered at 17 months out. This could change, there is nothing I can do right now about the fact that I may have to still face several waves. I realise or believe I have to do a lot more work than most on watching my thinking habits and how I respond to life in every situation. There are several well documented and clearly identified worry habits that I need to learn to not do and learn to immediately see if I do act them out.

 

I am also learning about depression and expect to find a set of rules of things to watch out for, a set of rules of activities to avoid and a set of rules of a routine that I need to embrace and live by.

 

I am a specialist in a certain branch of manufacturing chemistry and I have lived and worked in seven different countries during my benzo nightmare - I did not travel when things got really serious - I ended up being a shareholder in a company and because of that I got away with what one would say is more than what most would get away with. I still ultimately put in more hours than a typical employee but my efficiency was pathetic for the last 8 years on benzos. I was a wreck, a curse to all who knew me, avoiding everyone, working and hiding at home, my poor wife saw the worst of it....

 

I have been improving at work since the taper and the jump.

 

We are getting older, it is not going to be perfect, we have bad habits of over thinking things and striving for control and perfection  - this revs up the anxiety and we need to compensate for that, find the best peace and joy we can, EVERY DAY.

 

Please do not wait for times, conditions, health, friends and circumstances etc. to be perfect, you will grow old just watching the clock tick instead of living.

 

I wish you every success and true objectivity to become enthusiastically aware of what you need to learn going forward.

 

Great advice!

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I personally know people that have healed 100% and had a hellish withdrawal, but the symptoms have not returned. And it's been years, so it's not just a wait for another wave onset. I think sometimes when people fall into amazing windows, they can have a tendency to assume they are healed and create success stories only to be brought back into hell.. But that doesn't invalidate the success stories that are true success stories and the symptoms do not return. There are plenty of success stories and people that have healed completely and have not had returning symptoms.
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[e1...]

I'm almost 6 years out and not 100% yet, but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I was badly kindled on almost 4mg of xanax, combined with alcohol every night for 4 years. If i can recover, you most certainly will. Not sure it gets much worst than me

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Strive, You have got this!  You stated it so well.  Thank You.  I am not waiting to feel perfect because that day would never come.  I, like you, am working on managing anxiety and depression with tools  and techniques I have learned along the way.  Taking the power back that benzos ripped from my life.  Nothing is more important than getting my physical and mental health back. That is up to me.  I can't 'wait' for time to give that to me.  Time will help as the brain heals.  But it's up to me to guide my brain and begin thinking and doing differently.  Nothing is a 'given.'
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I see. That's very assuring. It's been one looooong wave since jumping, so will hold on to these success stories for hope
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I've been reading success stories daily, for some reason decided to look at the authors last posts, and find that some who have written success stories come back and post another addendum saying the symptoms aren't coMpletley over or the withdrawal comes back. Can any old timer here reassur me that it's  possible that once it's over it can last? Success stories usually gives me hope but after discovering these "just kidding", I finding myself in despair again. Sorry for being a downer.

 

I can promise you that after 5 years your connections are renewed and you will be alright.

 

That said, you will remain vulnerable to other drugs which sit on the same or similar receptors.

 

For example, starting and then stopping an anti depressant can cause a relapse of the withdrawal syndrome.  Same goes for alcohol and about any behavioral drug.

 

be well

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[e1...]

I've been reading success stories daily, for some reason decided to look at the authors last posts, and find that some who have written success stories come back and post another addendum saying the symptoms aren't coMpletley over or the withdrawal comes back. Can any old timer here reassur me that it's  possible that once it's over it can last? Success stories usually gives me hope but after discovering these "just kidding", I finding myself in despair again. Sorry for being a downer.

 

I can promise you that after 5 years your connections are renewed and you will be alright.

 

That said, you will remain vulnerable to other drugs which sit on the same or similar receptors.

 

For example, starting and then stopping an anti depressant can cause a relapse of the withdrawal syndrome.  Same goes for alcohol and about any behavioral drug.

 

be well

 

That's not necessarily true. It's good to have a healthy perspective, but it's also important to face reality.

 

The reality is, antidepressants have ZERO EFFECT on gaba a receptors. So no, antidepressants do not cause a "relapse of withdrawal symptoms"

 

Also, nothing is guaranteed. Many people suffer well beyond 5 years. Although it is very rare from my observations

 

And its alot more complicated than "renewing your connections "

 

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Miracle, It is very unlikely it will take you years.  You are young and took for a short period.  I have followed people since I joined 8 months ago and most aren't even here.  A few are like Easy and Issey.  Take a look at their progress.  They are doing great!  I think you have the medical back ground.  I really encourage you to read up on nuero science and the promise of plasticity.  Get hope in your head...belief.  Don't immerse yourself in despair.  This site is a double edged sword.  Peace and Healing
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I've been reading success stories daily, for some reason decided to look at the authors last posts, and find that some who have written success stories come back and post another addendum saying the symptoms aren't coMpletley over or the withdrawal comes back. Can any old timer here reassur me that it's  possible that once it's over it can last? Success stories usually gives me hope but after discovering these "just kidding", I finding myself in despair again. Sorry for being a downer.

 

I can promise you that after 5 years your connections are renewed and you will be alright.

 

That said, you will remain vulnerable to other drugs which sit on the same or similar receptors.

 

For example, starting and then stopping an anti depressant can cause a relapse of the withdrawal syndrome.  Same goes for alcohol and about any behavioral drug.

 

be well

 

That's not necessarily true. It's good to have a healthy perspective, but it's also important to face reality.

 

The reality is, antidepressants have ZERO EFFECT on gaba a receptors. So no, antidepressants do not cause a "relapse of withdrawal symptoms"

 

Also, nothing is guaranteed. Many people suffer well beyond 5 years. Although it is very rare from my observations

 

And its alot more complicated than "renewing your connections "

 

technically you are mostly correct

 

Also, the degree, the severity of your withdrawal effects future interactions with many drugs. Even steroids and quinolone antibiotics.

 

The 5 year make is based on sound science.

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Sound science in bwd?  It doesn't exist yet.....The large percentage of people who take benzos, do not acquire our nuero injury.  Science doesn't know why.. and they don't why we are here on this forum speculating about our predicament.  The fear mongering doesn't help any body out here. 
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Dovelov,

 

Thank you thank you! Haha you've read some of my previous posts. Having a medical background while in this predicament serves me more harm than good to be honest. My brain literally likes to grab negative things than positive things, I had this thinking problem prior to benzos. I will try my best to read up on some neuroplasticity articles.  :smitten:

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I am a Success Story.  I had a rough taper, a lot of strong withdrawal symptoms that at times brought me to my knees.  It was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to endure. But I did it, there was no choice since the drug was making me so ill.

 

I don't have waves, my last one was right before healing at 17 months.  I don't worry about waves because they don't happen.  I count myself fortunate that this is the case and I'll never take my health for granted.  I am well.

 

pianogirl  :smitten:

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I have been benzo-free for 4+ years and I did return to my normal, anxious self. I landed a new job across state, a GF, can drink coffee and beer again, etc. I think the only difference is, for myself physically anyway, that the anxiety pathway or circuit in my brain is easier to trigger in life after benzos. For example, I recently learned that I have a heart issue (congenital...thankfully not too serious and correctable via surgery should I choose this option down the road) and the doctor prescribed me a beta blocker for a few weeks as a precaution until more tests could be run, which sent me into anxiety hell. I have been off this drug for 6 weeks (after taking twice a day for 6 weeks) and still feel mostly dreadful. I suspect that had I been prescribed a beta blocker pre-benzo withdrawal however, I would not feel so terrible now. However, this feeling is nothing compared to benzo withdrawal. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who have chosen to withdraw from benzos! It isn't easy, but you can do it!!

 

Oh, and the good news about the anxiety circuit, which does indeed exist (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/05/180529132059.htm), is that it can be minimized. I'm currently a few weeks into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and am about to start yoga for the first time this evening. It's my understanding that over the next several weeks I can actually shrink my amygdala and rewire my brain. After withdrawing from benzos, I never really looked into why I'm so anxious and felt that I needed drugs in the first place. I'm not going to knock prescription drugs, since I know so many people who benefit from antidepressants and beta blockers, etc. But they only seem to make me sick!

 

Anyway, good luck and godspeed to you.

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Ye I’m over 16 years free from benzos (apart from having to take them 3 times in when back went into severe spasm between 4 and 8 years off). I had a terrible habit and took them almost every day for 15 years. I would take 450mg some days it was crazy. Anyway I came off in /0 weeks in 2003 in rehab and went through crazy withdrawals for about 3 months. The next 3 months I still had insomnia and anxiety but at around 8 months off all I had was recurring fear coming from nowhere but I became able to manage that and felt quite sound after around 1 year off. I haven’t ever had a drink or another drug in that 16 years and my life has been beyond what I’d ever have imagined. I hope you see it through to the other side of Benzobuddies addiction and get free from the chains.
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[e1...]

Ye I’m over 16 years free from benzos (apart from having to take them 3 times in when back went into severe spasm between 4 and 8 years off). I had a terrible habit and took them almost every day for 15 years. I would take 450mg some days it was crazy. Anyway I came off in /0 weeks in 2003 in rehab and went through crazy withdrawals for about 3 months. The next 3 months I still had insomnia and anxiety but at around 8 months off all I had was recurring fear coming from nowhere but I became able to manage that and felt quite sound after around 1 year off. I haven’t ever had a drink or another drug in that 16 years and my life has been beyond what I’d ever have imagined. I hope you see it through to the other side of Benzobuddies addiction and get free from the chains.

 

Lies.

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[dc...]

Ye I’m over 16 years free from benzos (apart from having to take them 3 times in when back went into severe spasm between 4 and 8 years off). I had a terrible habit and took them almost every day for 15 years. I would take 450mg some days it was crazy. Anyway I came off in /0 weeks in 2003 in rehab and went through crazy withdrawals for about 3 months. The next 3 months I still had insomnia and anxiety but at around 8 months off all I had was recurring fear coming from nowhere but I became able to manage that and felt quite sound after around 1 year off. I haven’t ever had a drink or another drug in that 16 years and my life has been beyond what I’d ever have imagined. I hope you see it through to the other side of Benzobuddies addiction and get free from the chains.

 

I had to read your message carefully to figure out why someone else called "lies" to this. Your story is not impossible but in your last sentence you say "other side of Benzobuddies addiction" . WOW  - maybe you were the type that fed on lots of posts on BB just for attention as opposed to a mutually beneficial exchange of support and learning? Are you back for more attention now or was the above just a typo error you could apologise for?

 

 

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