baseline

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Ok so I know the anxiety I have now is not my "baseline" but I've been on and off meds, Zoloft and Ativan for years I don't remember what my "baseline" feels like. all I know is I dont believe this is wd anymore. I do believe coming off of ativan I had wd and being in the heightened state I was in for months causes acute stress responses and PTSD leaking my cns in the state its in now. Now at 14 months off what im left with is mostly anxiety symptoms. I haven't been sleeping. last week I went 3 nights with no sleep, didn't sleep a wink last night. sensitive to sounds and lights, irritable, cant concentrate, depression, agoraphobia. had people over last night and feel very overstimulated, no appetite, weight loss, lack of energy, fatigue, constant racing mind 24/7, cant function. etc etc

 

how can a person go from having extreme anxiety treated with medication to bam nothing at all and "heal" this last 14 months I feel ive come a long way with my anxiety with therapy. Its just not budging. ex. my old anxiety I would be worried about my teenage driving, making it to work ok. now with therapy I tell myself when I start to worry. ya he's probably made it to work and he forgot to tell me. if he didnt and something happened like a wreck there nothing I can do about it. I cant worry, he is fine. so now im left with this terrible awful absolutely debiliting symptoms. Ive had to have family take my younger 2 kids because that's how well im not functioning. IM a constant anxious wreck, jittery, even going outside is too much at times. Yes I do believe Benzos caused this but I feel its a learned beahior now and without the help of a medicition it cant be overcome. How are we to continue to suffer and expect to get better in this state when we've done everything possible. Most studies say therapy and/or medication is needed for anxiety. with severe anxiety like I have there no way just therapy will take it away. ive heard horror and I mean absolute horror stores of what can happen if I take an SSRI though and thats the only reason I havent. in ways I wish I would of never come on this site for that reason.