Cutting too fast? No good with numbers

[[ch...]]

I am here again battling on after 14 months on Valium 4mgs, probably most of it trying to taper off.

I have always suffered on Valium, it only helping during the first week, and started taper from a very unstable place, as I had no stable on Valium

 

I have been making a determined effort recently to get rid of this drug as it has never helped, just made matters worse,

 

I have moved to a DMLT using milk, since I reached 2mgs, and have just looked at how long ago it was.

 

I was curious because I have been feeling more and more anxious, terrified all day, more tinnitus , more  agoraphobia, , more everything,

 

I have now realised that I have cut .4mgs almost from 2mgs in 45 days which I am sure is much to fast at this low dosage.

 

I am no good with numbers, blame it on being the oldest person here and reducing a benzo.

 

I think I may have cut approx 18% per month which is not good is it?

 

I have had a terrible time on this drug and want to see it gone, I can't stabilise on it, I have tried before,, Not sure what to do next.

 

If I was lower I would just jump to get it over, but I know I can't at 1.61mgs.. Not when I am suffering so much already.

 

It's been a long cruel journey on a drug that made me worse from the start, and all I can think is it has to go, just not sure what to do next.

 

Any help would be welcome, Advice on anything that might help with the sheer terrors all day?  I realise I have gone very fast, and that has not helped,

 

but desperate to be free  yet safe at the same time,

 

I am beginning to think this old brain just can't heal.

 

Jen

 

[[Jo...]]

I wouldn’t give up Jen. You can still succeed. I am tapering Kolonopin and so am not familiar with Valium mgs. But, from what I know 18% per month is on the high side. Most importantly, I have learned that as we get lower in dose we need to even go slower. (Although everyone is different)

 

I believe you can simplify things much here tapering just from the dose you are at. Go to Jim Hawk’s of B.B. Application at www.benzo.alwaysdata.net. Hit the “Read Me First” button and study that info.

Then put in your info and make your choices. You may want to select 5% over 2 weeks with an Attenuated Phase with your current dose as the starting dose. That will yield a very slow taper but you may stabilize and ultimately succeed. The program immediately gives you a daily microtaper schedule that you can print out and follow.

[[ch...]]

Thank you John and Tweed

I realise I have been cutting too fast now, just want to be free after months of struggling on a drug that didn't help me. I have had all the pain and no gain.

I know I am super sensitive to everything now since being on this drug. I just want  to get off it before it turns into years and years, and all for 4 mgs prescribed Last year.

I feel as though it is really damaging me, but racing off I know will push my brain too much when I am aready a wreck from the start.

I began with anxiety but now I have an addiction too that is making it so much worse.

I can't stay on it and hope I will reach a point of stability, iI don't have one, I started tapering from a very poor point because the drug was not working, and so why would it suddenly work if I hold and hold.

I think you understand Tweed. However I do think I may have push a bit too hard and am not sure now what to do.

Do I say well I have to get off it somehow as it's making me ill, or do I do a short hold then taper more slowly?

I wish I knew.. It is perhaps an easier decision if you know that you have a stable place or it does not make you ill.

John

I have been using the 100ml solution  to 1mg  valium method and then doing daily titrations  I am using milk as the carrier,

 

It is so diffucult to know what is best when working from a point where you a bad to begin with. Taking something that makes you worse each day

 

 

It does not help that I am now 74 and really should never have been started on this drug last year, It is too hard on older people and carries a lot of risk so it really does have to go.

 

I would love to find a way forward that is tolerable.

 

 

Thank you to both of you

 

[[ch...]]

Tweed

Definitely in panic mode now , I feel I will never heal, I am so frozen with fear I cannot move.

Thank you for you kind response, I am not sure what to do now.

Holding really does nothing for me, I wonder if this is me anyway from other mistakes in my life, and I run out of ideas of what to do to get back to me,

I will have to slow down I know but I don't now think this old brain can ever catch up considering the reason I was given the Valium to begin with being severe anxiety which has not become beyond endurance.

I can't take more to feel better  because it does not suit me, I don't know what I can do . I should never been put on this at my age

Thank you for caring

 

Jen

[[Le...]]

Chin, that pain is PART of withdrawals.  No going around it. Just accept it has the Benzo lie of feeling like you will never heal. Accept the lie and fear knowing that you will heal with time. So hard but using mindfulness helps. You can do this ! The sooner the better.