Going through W/D and living alone ?

[[Ev...]]

Does anyone going through W/D live alone? How do you deal with the loneliness? What do you do to occupy your time and mind?

[[Yu...]]

Can you find someone for support? When you are alone mental symptoms are much more worse in my opinion.

[[Ev...]]

I left and stayed with family for a few weeks but for the most part I’m home alone. It’s really really hard.

[[Ho...]]

I have been around people for the most part, however it’s a lonely trip anyway.  Nobody will understands it. I am now living alone and I find it not worser than being around people. I have been suffering for so long now, it’s a part of my life.

[[Ka...]]

I love living alone while going through this. I get to be however I need to be on any given day without explanation. I had to stay with my family for a couple of months when I changed country's and it was horrible.

 

Living alone for me was the best.

 

I watch a lot of ted talks and you tube videos on thing's like nuroplasticity, biology, energy healing, meditation etc. I've leant a lot during this last six months. When I need company, I call friends and family or I'll shift my arse out of the house to see them.

I'm back at work now and I'm genuinely missing my alone time

[[Ev...]]

@Kam19 thank you for the helpful tips! I’ve also been listening to a lot of TED talks. After how many months were you able to return to work? Do you find it better being back to work or time off ?

[[Ka...]]

@Kam19 thank you for the helpful tips! I’ve also been listening to a lot of TED talks. After how many months were you able to return to work? Do you find it better being back to work or time off ?

 

I've worked pretty much all the way through (of sorts) My job in Australia, I had to take time off and I have no idea how I did it when I was in while in acute.

My first job back in the UK, I had to travel a lot which really got me down but I ended up taking time off anyway because My sister died. That job only lasted 2 months because I didn't want to travel. I wasn't on top of my game anyway.

 

I then took 2 month's to myself which is most probably the best thing I could have done. It allowed me to really take a look at my health and anxiety triggers and really focus on them to heal them. This I truly believe has been the turning point for me.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, I didn't really want to but I needed the money and there is no reason for me not to tbh. I'm more than capable of holding down a job, it would just be laziness if I didn't. If it were up to me, I'd never work 😂

 

I think working during the worst of it helped distract me, I wasn't focused on my symptoms 24/7 having a purpose is helpful. Taking the time for me at a later stage in my healing worked well, I still was ill but not like I was so I was in a much better place to actually be able to do things like meditate and get to grips with how I could impact my own healing.

 

You have to do what is right for you but my philosophy on all of this has been I am not going to allow this healing to stop me living. Even if I feel awful, I will not give in or give up. Don't get me wrong, there have been day's I had to sleep or I had to rest and I respected that.

 

My honest belief is that if you can get control of your mind and your willing to push yourself, your healing will come quicker than if you give in to your symptom. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have in healing  if yiu believe you will heal quickly you will, if you don't you won't.

[[Ev...]]

Thank you so much Kam19 for the words of encouragement and sage advice. I was listening to the Happiness Advantage audiobook and it talks a lot about the power of mindset and I totally agree with you that if you believe you will heal you will, and i absolutely believe I will heal. It just takes time. I desperately want to get back to work, the hardest thing is that I literally feel that my brain is not working and I have a very mentally tedious job that requires extreme focus and detailed legal work. I’m hoping to go back part time and work my way up. Again I totally agree that having a purpose and distraction will be key healers. I’m glad you are back to work. How is your healing going?

[[Ka...]]

Thank you so much Kam19 for the words of encouragement and sage advice. I was listening to the Happiness Advantage audiobook and it talks a lot about the power of mindset and I totally agree with you that if you believe you will heal you will, and i absolutely believe I will heal. It just takes time. I desperately want to get back to work, the hardest thing is that I literally feel that my brain is not working and I have a very mentally tedious job that requires extreme focus and detailed legal work. I’m hoping to go back part time and work my way up. Again I totally agree that having a purpose and distraction will be key healers. I’m glad you are back to work. How is your healing going?

That feeling of the brain not working is the worst, I remember having to go through London rush hour on the tube not knowing where the hell I was going half the time and I can't tell you how many times, I got lost, or ended up on the wrong train. It was rediculous, I know the tube system like the back of my hand and all those people... I genuinely don't know to this day how I did this for two months in the worst stages, but I was not willing to stop my life. I felt like my whole body was being dragged to the ground, it was a horrible horrible struggle and I was in so much pain with my muscles and my hips it was horrific, plus I kept getting horrible colds thst had the worst cough ever that pulled my muscles even more. add the stress of a new job... Hell on earth, but I did it. Trust me, believe you can go backto work part time and you can do it

 

That was February /March - I was dancing round the house today

 

At the beginning of this hell, I decided it was not acceptable to me to have a long healing. I accepted damage had been done and that it might take sometime, but I aimed to be healed around the six month mark. TBH, I have seen people instantly healed from diseases but for this, I didn't have the people around me to try nor did I have the mental capacity to even try and effect healing that quickly myself, so I aimed for something that I knew I could without a doubt believe and that was six month healing.

I'm just coming up to the six month mark and so far so good. I'm about 90% of the way there. My mental symptom have disappeared, I'm happy, I'm functioning as I used to and I'm now able to start unraveling the complicated grief around losing both of my sisters in 9 weeks of each other.

I have some physical symptoms, I get an occasional brain buzz, my skin is still rubbish, doughy, lose and really mottled, but it's getting better, I'm convinced this will heal one I stop smoking, so I believe I'm prolonging that healing myself. I get tingling on every part of my body, but it's intermittent and it's just a minor annoyance now. My muscle tone is up and down and I'm pretty sure there's some inflammation going on but honestly that's it and I was really sick.

 

 

I think things really turned around about four weeks ago, I felt like I reconected with God and also I read something that said that Gabba receptors wouldn't grow back if you were constantly in fight or flight because...well why would they? They're not needed if your brain thinks it's fighting for survival all the time. This made perfect sense to me, so I started meditating and while I was meditating, I would self sooth by allowing myself to feel fear and and then letting my internal voice tell my fear that in this present moment, I am safe, nobody can harm me. I address the situation that was causing me fear as well. This really worked and turned things around really quickly and it allowed other negative emotions to surface that I could deal with in the same way.

 

I'm someone who always looks for the lessons that both the good and the bad life throws at us and I'm honestly greatful (well now I am) for this experience. I've had to really evaluate areas of my life that have been causing me grief forever and I'm being forced to deal with them, I am.going to be so much better psychologicaly than I was before. Sometimes the biggest blessings don't come in fluffy packages, sometimes they come in the form of journeys, that are painful and messy that take us along kicking and screaming.

 

Find your lesson

 

How long have you bern off and where about are you up to in your healing, what are your symptoms?

[[Ev...]]

cam19 your posts are so inspirational, thank you 

 

I’ve been off for a little over 3 months after an 8 month taper (after years of trying to get off myself, I had no idea about tapering etc. and now looking back I see for years I was torturing myself trying to do this on my own. Anyway, thankfully I found a good and knowledgeable psychiatrist who helped through the taper. The taper was complete hell. For me the taper and the W/D have been equally as painful). I am already seeing small improvements and some windows. I know I will heal. I 100% believe that. My symptoms are primarily psychological, thankfully I haven’t had too many physical symptoms, just a few but I would take them ANY DAY over the mental symptoms. My biggest symptoms are extreme anxiety, crushing depression, racing thoughts, and to be honest, I’ve been quite suicidal throughout this entire experience including the taper. And of course the brain fog. I literally feel my brain does not work!! Ive always been a really intelligent and driven woman, but I know it will come back with time.

 

This fear of being alone is new. I’ve lived alone (well with my son ) for 14 years and it’s never really bothered me, but the past few month I have this intense fear of being alone and I keep thinking I’m going to die alone a miserable lonely death. That thought is literally haunting me. I also work remotely and I think in general too much time alone is just not healthy, we humans aren’t meant to live life alone and I’m struggling with that aspect of my life, it’s something I really need to figure out.

 

I’ve also been keeping the 6 month mark in mind as a goal for major healing. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better at 6 months. I believe in the power of a positive mind and I have to keep telling myself I will heal, life will not always be this way. I believe that.  I do see light at the end of the tunnel because I get glimpses of feeling normal every so often and it will only keep getting better with time 

[[Ka...]]

cam19 your posts are so inspirational, thank you 

 

I’ve been off for a little over 3 months after an 8 month taper (after years of trying to get off myself, I had no idea about tapering etc. and now looking back I see for years I was torturing myself trying to do this on my own. Anyway, thankfully I found a good and knowledgeable psychiatrist who helped through the taper. The taper was complete hell. For me the taper and the W/D have been equally as painful). I am already seeing small improvements and some windows. I know I will heal. I 100% believe that. My symptoms are primarily psychological, thankfully I haven’t had too many physical symptoms, just a few but I would take them ANY DAY over the mental symptoms. My biggest symptoms are extreme anxiety, crushing depression, racing thoughts, and to be honest, I’ve been quite suicidal throughout this entire experience including the taper. And of course the brain fog. I literally feel my brain does not work!! Ive always been a really intelligent and driven woman, but I know it will come back with time.

 

This fear of being alone is new. I’ve lived alone (well with my son ) for 14 years and it’s never really bothered me, but the past few month I have this intense fear of being alone and I keep thinking I’m going to die alone a miserable lonely death. That thought is literally haunting me. I also work remotely and I think in general too much time alone is just not healthy, we humans aren’t meant to live life alone and I’m struggling with that aspect of my life, it’s something I really need to figure out.

 

I’ve also been keeping the 6 month mark in mind as a goal for major healing. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better at 6 months. I believe in the power of a positive mind and I have to keep telling myself I will heal, life will not always be this way. I believe that.  I do see light at the end of the tunnel because I get glimpses of feeling normal every so often and it will only keep getting better with time 

 

Your not going to die, this will not kill you. That is the depression talking, it's an absolute soul sucking monster, you will get through this, you will survive and at the end you will have the gift of a new appreciation for health.

 

I've often wondered if a taper is worth it, people seem to go through hell with them just as much as a cold turkey but more drawn out but I guess it really depends on what you've been on and what dose.

 

Just keep believing for your six month healing. I've been watching a guy called Joe Dispenzer on You Tube, he's really helped me a lot. He's a nuro scieintist who absolutely believes in the power of healing through meditation and belief, also watch a guy called Bruce Lipton and Dr Caroline Leaf (she comes from a more Christian perspective but the science is sound).

 

You are healed, your just waiting for your body to catch up.

 

If your feeling isolated, go out, visit friends or family. You don't have to stay for long. You might not feel like it, but live your life as best you can. We are not designed to be solatry creatures. I was on my own most of my time in acute until I had to fly from Australia to the UK and then for about two month's I was staying with friend's and family. I was delighted when I got my own place. You can just be you.

 

You can always PM me if you need to. You have totally got this ❤

[[pu...]]

cam19 your posts are so inspirational, thank you 

 

I’ve been off for a little over 3 months after an 8 month taper (after years of trying to get off myself, I had no idea about tapering etc. and now looking back I see for years I was torturing myself trying to do this on my own. Anyway, thankfully I found a good and knowledgeable psychiatrist who helped through the taper. The taper was complete hell. For me the taper and the W/D have been equally as painful). I am already seeing small improvements and some windows. I know I will heal. I 100% believe that. My symptoms are primarily psychological, thankfully I haven’t had too many physical symptoms, just a few but I would take them ANY DAY over the mental symptoms. My biggest symptoms are extreme anxiety, crushing depression, racing thoughts, and to be honest, I’ve been quite suicidal throughout this entire experience including the taper. And of course the brain fog. I literally feel my brain does not work!! Ive always been a really intelligent and driven woman, but I know it will come back with time.

 

This fear of being alone is new. I’ve lived alone (well with my son ) for 14 years and it’s never really bothered me, but the past few month I have this intense fear of being alone and I keep thinking I’m going to die alone a miserable lonely death. That thought is literally haunting me. I also work remotely and I think in general too much time alone is just not healthy, we humans aren’t meant to live life alone and I’m struggling with that aspect of my life, it’s something I really need to figure out.

 

I’ve also been keeping the 6 month mark in mind as a goal for major healing. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better at 6 months. I believe in the power of a positive mind and I have to keep telling myself I will heal, life will not always be this way. I believe that.  I do see light at the end of the tunnel because I get glimpses of feeling normal every so often and it will only keep getting better with time 

 

Your not going to die, this will not kill you. That is the depression talking, it's an absolute soul sucking monster, you will get through this, you will survive and at the end you will have the gift of a new appreciation for health.

 

I've often wondered if a taper is worth it, people seem to go through hell with them just as much as a cold turkey but more drawn out but I guess it really depends on what you've been on and what dose.

 

Just keep believing for your six month healing. I've been watching a guy called Joe Dispenzer on You Tube, he's really helped me a lot. He's a nuro scieintist who absolutely believes in the power of healing through meditation and belief, also watch a guy called Bruce Lipton and Dr Caroline Leaf (she comes from a more Christian perspective but the science is sound).

 

You are healed, your just waiting for your body to catch up.

 

If your feeling isolated, go out, visit friends or family. You don't have to stay for long. You might not feel like it, but live your life as best you can. We are not designed to be solatry creatures. I was on my own most of my time in acute until I had to fly from Australia to the UK and then for about two month's I was staying with friend's and family. I was delighted when I got my own place. You can just be you.

 

You can always PM me if you need to. You have totally got this ❤

 

I’m posting here to follow bc I have very little social support irl. Thank you to whomever created this thread.

[[pu...]]

@Kam19 thank you for the helpful tips! I’ve also been listening to a lot of TED talks. After how many months were you able to return to work? Do you find it better being back to work or time off ?

 

I've worked pretty much all the way through (of sorts) My job in Australia, I had to take time off and I have no idea how I did it when I was in while in acute.

My first job back in the UK, I had to travel a lot which really got me down but I ended up taking time off anyway because My sister died. That job only lasted 2 months because I didn't want to travel. I wasn't on top of my game anyway.

 

I then took 2 month's to myself which is most probably the best thing I could have done. It allowed me to really take a look at my health and anxiety triggers and really focus on them to heal them. This I truly believe has been the turning point for me.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, I didn't really want to but I needed the money and there is no reason for me not to tbh. I'm more than capable of holding down a job, it would just be laziness if I didn't. If it were up to me, I'd never work 😂

 

I think working during the worst of it helped distract me, I wasn't focused on my symptoms 24/7 having a purpose is helpful. Taking the time for me at a later stage in my healing worked well, I still was ill but not like I was so I was in a much better place to actually be able to do things like meditate and get to grips with how I could impact my own healing.

 

You have to do what is right for you but my philosophy on all of this has been I am not going to allow this healing to stop me living. Even if I feel awful, I will not give in or give up. Don't get me wrong, there have been day's I had to sleep or I had to rest and I respected that.

 

My honest belief is that if you can get control of your mind and your willing to push yourself, your healing will come quicker than if you give in to your symptom. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have in healing  if yiu believe you will heal quickly you will, if you don't you won't.

 

 

Hey, thanks for posting this. I’ve worked, albeit part-time, throughout this and it has helped me distract. Though, my mood swings are beginning to cause me a lot of grief. I have a mood disorder, though, that is currently unmedicated at present.

[[Ev...]]

cam19 your posts are so inspirational, thank you 

 

I’ve been off for a little over 3 months after an 8 month taper (after years of trying to get off myself, I had no idea about tapering etc. and now looking back I see for years I was torturing myself trying to do this on my own. Anyway, thankfully I found a good and knowledgeable psychiatrist who helped through the taper. The taper was complete hell. For me the taper and the W/D have been equally as painful). I am already seeing small improvements and some windows. I know I will heal. I 100% believe that. My symptoms are primarily psychological, thankfully I haven’t had too many physical symptoms, just a few but I would take them ANY DAY over the mental symptoms. My biggest symptoms are extreme anxiety, crushing depression, racing thoughts, and to be honest, I’ve been quite suicidal throughout this entire experience including the taper. And of course the brain fog. I literally feel my brain does not work!! Ive always been a really intelligent and driven woman, but I know it will come back with time.

 

This fear of being alone is new. I’ve lived alone (well with my son ) for 14 years and it’s never really bothered me, but the past few month I have this intense fear of being alone and I keep thinking I’m going to die alone a miserable lonely death. That thought is literally haunting me. I also work remotely and I think in general too much time alone is just not healthy, we humans aren’t meant to live life alone and I’m struggling with that aspect of my life, it’s something I really need to figure out.

 

I’ve also been keeping the 6 month mark in mind as a goal for major healing. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better at 6 months. I believe in the power of a positive mind and I have to keep telling myself I will heal, life will not always be this way. I believe that.  I do see light at the end of the tunnel because I get glimpses of feeling normal every so often and it will only keep getting better with time 

 

Your not going to die, this will not kill you. That is the depression talking, it's an absolute soul sucking monster, you will get through this, you will survive and at the end you will have the gift of a new appreciation for health.

 

I've often wondered if a taper is worth it, people seem to go through hell with them just as much as a cold turkey but more drawn out but I guess it really depends on what you've been on and what dose.

 

Just keep believing for your six month healing. I've been watching a guy called Joe Dispenzer on You Tube, he's really helped me a lot. He's a nuro scieintist who absolutely believes in the power of healing through meditation and belief, also watch a guy called Bruce Lipton and Dr Caroline Leaf (she comes from a more Christian perspective but the science is sound).

 

You are healed, your just waiting for your body to catch up.

 

If your feeling isolated, go out, visit friends or family. You don't have to stay for long. You might not feel like it, but live your life as best you can. We are not designed to be solatry creatures. I was on my own most of my time in acute until I had to fly from Australia to the UK and then for about two month's I was staying with friend's and family. I was delighted when I got my own place. You can just be you.

 

You can always PM me if you need to. You have totally got this ❤

 

I’m posting here to follow bc I have very little social support irl. Thank you to whomever created this thread.

cam19 your posts are so inspirational, thank you 

 

I’ve been off for a little over 3 months after an 8 month taper (after years of trying to get off myself, I had no idea about tapering etc. and now looking back I see for years I was torturing myself trying to do this on my own. Anyway, thankfully I found a good and knowledgeable psychiatrist who helped through the taper. The taper was complete hell. For me the taper and the W/D have been equally as painful). I am already seeing small improvements and some windows. I know I will heal. I 100% believe that. My symptoms are primarily psychological, thankfully I haven’t had too many physical symptoms, just a few but I would take them ANY DAY over the mental symptoms. My biggest symptoms are extreme anxiety, crushing depression, racing thoughts, and to be honest, I’ve been quite suicidal throughout this entire experience including the taper. And of course the brain fog. I literally feel my brain does not work!! Ive always been a really intelligent and driven woman, but I know it will come back with time.

 

This fear of being alone is new. I’ve lived alone (well with my son ) for 14 years and it’s never really bothered me, but the past few month I have this intense fear of being alone and I keep thinking I’m going to die alone a miserable lonely death. That thought is literally haunting me. I also work remotely and I think in general too much time alone is just not healthy, we humans aren’t meant to live life alone and I’m struggling with that aspect of my life, it’s something I really need to figure out.

 

I’ve also been keeping the 6 month mark in mind as a goal for major healing. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better at 6 months. I believe in the power of a positive mind and I have to keep telling myself I will heal, life will not always be this way. I believe that.  I do see light at the end of the tunnel because I get glimpses of feeling normal every so often and it will only keep getting better with time 

 

Your not going to die, this will not kill you. That is the depression talking, it's an absolute soul sucking monster, you will get through this, you will survive and at the end you will have the gift of a new appreciation for health.

 

I've often wondered if a taper is worth it, people seem to go through hell with them just as much as a cold turkey but more drawn out but I guess it really depends on what you've been on and what dose.

 

Just keep believing for your six month healing. I've been watching a guy called Joe Dispenzer on You Tube, he's really helped me a lot. He's a nuro scieintist who absolutely believes in the power of healing through meditation and belief, also watch a guy called Bruce Lipton and Dr Caroline Leaf (she comes from a more Christian perspective but the science is sound).

 

You are healed, your just waiting for your body to catch up.

 

If your feeling isolated, go out, visit friends or family. You don't have to stay for long. You might not feel like it, but live your life as best you can. We are not designed to be solatry creatures. I was on my own most of my time in acute until I had to fly from Australia to the UK and then for about two month's I was staying with friend's and family. I was delighted when I got my own place. You can just be you.

 

You can always PM me if you need to. You have totally got this ❤

 

I’m posting here to follow bc I have very little social support irl. Thank you to whomever created this thread.

@Kam19 thank you for the helpful tips! I’ve also been listening to a lot of TED talks. After how many months were you able to return to work? Do you find it better being back to work or time off ?

 

I've worked pretty much all the way through (of sorts) My job in Australia, I had to take time off and I have no idea how I did it when I was in while in acute.

My first job back in the UK, I had to travel a lot which really got me down but I ended up taking time off anyway because My sister died. That job only lasted 2 months because I didn't want to travel. I wasn't on top of my game anyway.

 

I then took 2 month's to myself which is most probably the best thing I could have done. It allowed me to really take a look at my health and anxiety triggers and really focus on them to heal them. This I truly believe has been the turning point for me.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, I didn't really want to but I needed the money and there is no reason for me not to tbh. I'm more than capable of holding down a job, it would just be laziness if I didn't. If it were up to me, I'd never work 😂

 

I think working during the worst of it helped distract me, I wasn't focused on my symptoms 24/7 having a purpose is helpful. Taking the time for me at a later stage in my healing worked well, I still was ill but not like I was so I was in a much better place to actually be able to do things like meditate and get to grips with how I could impact my own healing.

 

You have to do what is right for you but my philosophy on all of this has been I am not going to allow this healing to stop me living. Even if I feel awful, I will not give in or give up. Don't get me wrong, there have been day's I had to sleep or I had to rest and I respected that.

 

My honest belief is that if you can get control of your mind and your willing to push yourself, your healing will come quicker than if you give in to your symptom. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have in healing  if yiu believe you will heal quickly you will, if you don't you won't.

 

 

Hey, thanks for posting this. I’ve worked, albeit part-time, throughout this and it has helped me distract. Though, my mood swings are beginning to cause me a lot of grief. I have a mood disorder, though, that is currently unmedicated at present.

 

Hang in the PurpleHeart, you can PM me anytime you want to chat. I’m sorry you’re having hard time. Lack of social support has been extremely hard although even if we did have more support, I’m not sure anyone can understand what we’re through unless you’ve personally experienced it. It’s so mind bending. I’ve been only on this forum for a week or so but many people have sent so many positive messages and good advice (I ignore the scary stuff on here). Hope your day gets better!

[[in...]]

I have been living alone my whole life and always found it has pluses and minuses. I don't have to explain things to others any more than I choose, but I also lack comfort and support that is always there. I have supportive friends and that helps.

 

Actually, I am not truly alone as I have a wonderful housemate in my Golden Retriever. She has gotten me through the toughest days, letting me talk withput judgement, letting me hug and snuggle when feeling anxiety.l, and bringing a smile daily.

 

My sister is disabled from tick borne diseases (lyme, etc) and is drawing down benzos so she gets how difficult struggle wd is, but she can not always be there as she has her struggles to contend with. We have always lived within miles of each other and now she is talking about moving states away for health reasons. That is scary to me. That makes me feel alone. No one in my family had children and I am the youngest, and in my 60s. I guess I wonder who will look after me in elder senior years? My family has a long life line on both sides so hopefully that is many years off, but I think the taper and post wd made me think about more what-ifs, including poor health and being alone. My Dad passed recently from Parkisons after a five year decline and mother now in her 90s suffers from dementia/memory loss. My parents have had me there, but I won't have childen to do so and that is probably the biggest awareness and feeling of being alone for me.

 

For now I take it a day at a time, hug my dog daily, talk to my friends, try to keep my routines, keep stress as low as can be managed. Thanks for this thread and letting me share.