Self destructing

[[cr...]]

Guys im self destructing. I just trashed my room. Slipped and Fell and hit my head. Lightheaded now. Im so agitated. Ive been in extreme withdrawal for a year now. But everythings so much worse after my latest kindling. Off gaba drugs and literally every supplement for 39 days now. I am in agony. My fricken blood pressure is clocking in at 169/105. What can i do? Im in so much pain to. Everything hurts. My cns is tensed up. I want some relief but everything kindles me and prevents healing so Im even scared of Tylenol now. I'm in so much pain but all drugs are poison. I cant eat much. Im losing any hope that I'll recover. Its taking too long. Im scared of losing my family. I had nightmare that I had to go to hospital and they put me in psych ward where the doctors tried to kill me with ECT. :'(

[[Ka...]]

Ok, what I want you to do is sit in a chair with your right foot crossed over your left foot and your right hand crossed over your left.

With your hands still in that position I want you to bring your arms straight out in front of you till there in the middle of your chest and I want you to close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply six times and then bring your hands into the prayer position.

 

This should bring your anxiety levels down. My best friend is a psychologist and she taught me this and it worked for me.

 

You will heal, I cold turkeyed and was kindled. I'm nearly six months in and almost healed

[[ea...]]

That is a nice trick, Kam. I was told to do something similar.

 

Crescent, perhaps you need to go to the ER and get your head checked out. I had several concussions, thanks to benzos, and know they will only make wd worse.

And get your BP checked out too, and maybe they will put you on a beta blocker, which will bring it down AND calm you down a bit. Most rehabs routinely prescribe a beta blocker for wd patients, just for this reason.

But most of all, you need to find a way to calm yourself down just a bit. I know that is difficult. Was for me.  My acute wd lasted way too long, but eventually it did start to let up just a bit.

NOT ALL DRUGS ARE BAD. Some do have a good purpose and you cannot be afraid of ALL drugs. Just benzos, and maybe ADs and certain antibiotics.

Calming yourself when this upset is difficult but it can be done. Try to search for simple things to try, just as I did. I used slow, deep breathing a LOT that first year. I recall sitting on my sofa trying to do this without panicking even more. Eventually it DID help just a bit. Do a search for "deep belly breathing" to learn how to do this. Another trick I learned was listening to sleep hypnosis videos on YouTube. A man named Paul Ogilivie ( a psychologist with his own history of addiction) puts out some truly wonderful tapes you can listen to. He also returns emails, by the way. Easy to find and might be VERY helpful for you to listen to.

Just don't give up, please. You can do this.

[[cr...]]

Ok ill try that and some eft tapping. I'm really concerned about the bump on my head though for sure. What drugs would you recommend? I dislike beta blockers Tbh. They drop my heart rate into the 20s and 30s. I tried cbd and hydroxyzine to calm myself but they sent me further into withdrawal after they wore off. Anything that calms my cns has a rebound effect. Btw if i go ER I bet they'll force me to reinstate. U cant tell just by reading my texts but yes im THAT bad. The only withdrawal symptom im not having right now are hallucinations and siezures. I'm experiencing 100s simultaneously.