Do you worry about your affect freaking people out?

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This is ironic as more and more people say I seem so well (day 160) but in my current wave (and frequently since this nightmare began) I feel like I’m crazy (more specifically I feel like I smoked a little pot; things have that quality) and I have some very light DP/dr I think (just a tolerable sense of oh! Apparently I’m talking now! Etc) so I’m constantly worrying about how I’m perceived socially, even though I’m quite the extrovert.

 

Anyone else?

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I get bored staying home being that I'm not working but yes I feel like a total freak in public. I also find I'm slightly removed from everything like I'm over observing every little thing. I'm overly critical of myself in my head but sadly others too. I get mad at myself as I find myself judging others very harshly to myself while I'm talking to them which is not me but I can't really stop myself from having the thoughts. I've been getting to know my bf's family during this w//d while sweating and feeling insane I have even said to him " are they permanently gonna find me a freak?" They might but I would go even more insane if I stayed home and avoided all social interactions.

[[se...]]

This is ironic as more and more people say I seem so well (day 160) but in my current wave (and frequently since this nightmare began) I feel like I’m crazy (more specifically I feel like I smoked a little pot; things have that quality) and I have some very light DP/dr I think (just a tolerable sense of oh! Apparently I’m talking now! Etc) so I’m constantly worrying about how I’m perceived socially, even though I’m quite the extrovert.

 

Anyone else?

 

Does anyone actually get freaked out by your affect enough for you to notice their reaction?

 

I think I have this or something similar.  I don't know what it is called - "social anxiety"?  I have it still after 9 months off and I think it was pre-existing.  This is the type of thing that prevents me from being more social but it's not really a fear.  I can relate 100% to this of what sunlit said:

 

yes I feel like a total freak in public. I also find I'm slightly removed from everything like I'm over observing every little thing. I'm overly critical of myself in my head but sadly others too. I get mad at myself as I find myself judging others very harshly to myself while I'm talking to them which is not me but I can't really stop myself from having the thoughts.

 

I'll eventually go insane if I don't interact more with others but I don't find it pleasant and again, I'm not scared of it.  I don't think I come off well but I have no hard and fast evidence.  Sometimes, someone will come up to me and say something or ask a question and things fall flat pretty much right away.  It bothers me.  Wtf am I putting out there that is so arresting?

 

I think if I immersed myself around people and in social situations for awhile, daily and for several months, I would be fine but being alone has its benefits.

 

Seriously, I haven't related so much to anything in my life than some of what's mentioned on this forum.  I don't think it's all the medication.  I think there are some common traits and characteristics many of us who've been harmed by benzos share.

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seltzerer I don't think your necessarily putting anything "arresting" out there. I think this feeling is all just part of the over criticism of ones self and perhaps others during w/d. I've actually said when I think someone has done something wrong I stop myself from complaining because I really am not able to gauge my actions or others correctly in this state so I air on the side of caution.

 

I agree I feel like I've never found a group of people I can relate to more than on benzobudies. Really doctors should be required to read this site because the side effects and what it does to your brain are so similar.

At first I have to say I thought this site might be hard because its people recovering from psych meds so it might be everyone with their own crazy issues as I have my own and I thought it might just be going down everyone elses rabbit hole but that assumption couldn't be further from the truth. Everyone's accounts are so similar it needs to be studied.