I was on drugs

[[su...]]

Good grief. I was on drugs.lol What else can I say. No I wasn't abusing them but taking them as prescribed but I was a mess.

 

I already made a post about about apologizing for bad behavior on benzos as I would rant and tell people off. Usually I'm prone to being shy.

 

Now I'm realizing my mind has not been thinking clearly for years on the benzos. I have no idea what I was thinking. I was not just railing into people but the things I would say.

 

I had a fellow photography friend on social media just post a picture of his wife and son  that I commented on telling him it was " beautiful but he should frame it and put it on his wall and I didn't mind it was poor quality photo" what was I thinking!? I'm so embarrassed. How arrogant of me talking about the quality of the photograph and telling him what he should put on his walls. I don't remember writing this or even thinking it.

 

My memory on benzos was erased day to day. I realize though this was my behavior on benzos. I was a different person. I was much more aggressive I think in everything I did and said. Its like the rationalizing part of my brain would disappear.

 

Ugh I know its minor but I feel terrible I wrote this but don't really wanna rant more on the picture apologizing for being weird and arrogant. I wonder how much more of this is out there that I did. How many people's view of me is changed. I guess it still all just part of being human. Nobody is perfect especially not on benzos.

[[me...]]

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Benzos do change some aspects of our personalities, temporarily.  Inhibitions are lowered.

 

You're "only" three months off, and at this point in withdrawal many of us are super sensitive about almost everything.  We imagine others are watching and judging our every move and every word.  I went through this phase and it was awful, until I realized others really aren't that interested in me at all.  Most are far more worried about how they look and sound to others.

 

In the end, it really doesnt matter, and in time you'll be yourself again and you won't be so worried about what you think others are thinking about you.  Healing takes time and time is the healer.

 

 

 

[[st...]]

Even in withdrawal I do the same things.  My wife and I got into a terrible argument last week because I was mad that she wanted me to go to dinner with some of her friends...now that's crazy!!  What things these horrible drugs have done to our minds.

[[mi...]]

Similar to my experience as well.

[[Bl...]]

I too eventually got dangerously aggressive . Like off the hook crazy .

I was beyond fearless and I live in very large cites and that could be very dangerous .