Feeling broken inside

[[Ch...]]

I feel like something inside me is broken and feel benzo are part of the reason.

 

I just feel raw. Strained, full of anxiety and compulsively driven to keep going to the point of collapse.

 

Not a good place to be when this is the start of the peak season at work.

 

Today I have at least calmed down a bit and rested, being a Public Holiday here.

Just venting really and trying to build belief that I can pick myself up.

 

 

 

[[bu...]]

I think we all feel that way sometimes. Just remember there's a whole section of success stories where people tell about how they've gotten off this crap and are living happy & content. Also remember how far you've come and that as long as you keep plugging along you'll get to the finish line at some point. I get it though, this is a horrid thing to go through. In my opinion probably one of the most difficult things a person can endure. It wears you out from time to time, but you just have to keep fighting.

[[de...]]

Hey Chalkey,

 

I just posted "Crippled Inside", John Lennon, on favourite jam song thread, and thought of you.  I thought of me, too.  Thought of us all.  Stick it on your music player, it will cheer you up. 

 

Sing it loud, and sing it strong. Dance, even. 

 

I have felt broken many times.  It is the very word I have used, in my own mind. 

 

Nothing wrong with feeling broken Chalkey, this stuff does it too you, and you speak for us all. 

 

One thing for sure Chalkey, we've found the remedy, and we won't feel this way forever. 

 

Slowly, the pieces are coming together.

 

Dee

 

 

 

 

[[mo...]]

You can do it Chaulkey. Keep going, things can change on a dime, a window could be right around the corner. I feel the same way sometimes but we will get to the finish line one minute and one day at a time.

[[Ch...]]

Thanks for all the replies. I really do appreciate them.

 

My whole withdrawal experience has been made so much worse by relentless online stalking and harassment that an individual nearby has subjected me to. I reported it to the police but they want me to collect more evidence first. E-mails, social media, even hacking my compyrter.  It has lasted as long as the w/d. They know my situation and do not care. What they have done is inhuman if only they knew it. I feel I am getting weaker and it is partly because it is the start of peak season at work. At least that will pass.

 

If the stalking ended this whole scenario would get so much better. I can't believe the bad luck I have had to meet such a monster at such a time. But I guess life is not kind to us just because we are in w/d. Stuff happens. What gets me is that all this extra stress was so needless. Boy is this tough and right now it is tougher than ever.

[[de...]]

Get the evidence, Chalkey. 

 

They can be d/heads, I know. 

 

Bit tragic, when you think about it. 

 

Dee

[[ph...]]

Yeah. It's a pretty rough feeling. It's less and less as the time goes on.

 

[[Ch...]]

Get the evidence, Chalkey. 

 

They can be d/heads, I know. 

 

Bit tragic, when you think about it. 

 

Dee

 

It is pretty tragic, Dee. How I'd handle the whole court thing if it came to that I don't know.