Thought I was done

[[li...]]

I Am 6 mos out and on my second try after 30 years of

Valium. A month ago I posted Trying to get another person to understand this hidious process. I really thought I knew what I was talking about. Just being a pompas ass I guess. I was doing okay then, but just a few weeks ago everything I suffered and thought had come and gone is back again.

It’s like a recurring nightmare. I knew I had a ways to go but damn going back to square one hurts. Really really bad. I guess what I’m asking here is has anyone else experienced this? I keep thinking it can’t be the pills . I was better and now I’m not. Must be something more serious and then all sorts of things keeps coming to mind. My main and worse symptom and always has been is the shaking to the point of not being able to walk. I’m 73 yrs old so of course I’m thinking it has to be a neurological disease.

I’m so tired of fighting. I just want to be able to have some sort of life in these last years. Does not look like that’s going to happen. So if anyone here on the forum has had this happen I would appreciate an answer. Thank you...

 

 

[[Bl...]]

I shake very badly in the morning . I am 56 and  5 months off 20+ years of klonopin  rxed for a physical reason . My taper was right at 5 years long though so I have been sick a very long time .

 

    I shake in the morning and sometimes think it is part of my POTS .

I am also pretty resentful of this the longer I go on. IDK why now ? My husband used to tell me to try to stay calm but I explained that for me this was like I was freezing cold . Nothing to do with nervousness .

[[li...]]

So sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time also. It seems never ending. I was put on Valium 30 yrs ago for back pain after a botched surgery. I have been suffering ever since. I get around on a walker and use a scooter if I want to go out which is getting less and less these days.

No support from doctors they can get you on these things for sure but don’t want to have anything to do with getting you help to get off. They are in denial and say it can’t be the pills after 6 months

But really have no clue or information to back this up. It’s hard not to believe them.We are suppose to have faith in our doctors.  I have had one neurologist tell me I have Orthostatic Tremor a rare disease with no help and it just gets worse. He put an I phone on my leg it registered high. He never even examined me so I’m not sure wheather I believe him or not. It’s just all so depressing and discouraging. I hope you will be feeling better soon. May God help us all. This is tough...

 

[[Bl...]]

Agree 100% with everything you said . The denial of this must stop . It is hurting people . You re like me in that this was prescribed for complications after my gal bladder burst ( they again did not believe it was any worse than my inflammatory B disease ) and they could not get the pain , nausea and the adhesions under control after the surgery, so they first threw xanax at  it then klonopin at it in huge doses ..

 

Then I learned about benzos , shame that they don't either . Their denial is epic .

[[Ne...]]

I don't have the same symptom you do, as in shaking, and I can walk just fine most of the time, however I do know what you're talking about in terms of feeling better and then getting worse again, which really hits you hard and demoralizes you, if you let it.

 

At 6 months you're still in the somewhat early game. I'm honestly not surprised you feel worse again at 6 months. I felt bad too all the time back at 6 months.

 

I'm 19 months off CT ~10mg diazepam taken for a few months daily. I should probably put that in my signature some time. 

 

 

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I don't have shaking. I'm also not a doctor so you should make sure its not something more serious than withdrawal. If it is just withdrawal it should get better again. Most people on here talk on windows and waves where symptoms come and go or you feel better for awhile and then things go back. It all seems to be part of the healing process.

[[li...]]

I had shaking and weakness so bad for months. Also I had POTS and could barely walk ended up in a wheelchair for 5 months. Then one day it just stopped , was good for 4 months and now a wave again.

It seems neverending, but your symptoms are common withdrawal and most likely not a neurological disorder.

[[li...]]

To Linnie off drugs :

Thank you so much for your reply I have looked and looked until I had a hard time seeing trying to find someone who had similiar symptoms. I thought I was alone. It eases my mind some in what you have posted. Could you give me a little more information on your journey and how you are doing now. I am trying to be strong but I’m not sure I’m holding up. Also I am not familiar with POTS could you please describe what that is. Thank you so much . Looking forward to your reply. Littlerain

 

[[ba...]]

Please don't worry! I also had some deterioration after six months. I even began to think it was hopeless. But slowly everything began to improve! It's probably natural for recovery. So that you are not alone! Embrace❤

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Yes, everything coming back, at times severe, is the most difficult, depressing, and unfair part of this whole process.  I think if it was linear everyone would have an easier time.  But to get it thrown in your face repeatedly and taken backwards, it takes a lot of courage each time to keep going.  Just know that this is normal and expected, you are still healing.  You are not back at square one as you think you are based on symptoms, square one was zero months off benzos, now you're six!!! Six months closer no matter how much you feel like shit.

 

I'm 9 months off.  I'm pretty positive waves are not random, they are caused by stress.  Environmental, physical, and psychological.  Use your worsened symptoms as a "clue" to try to identify what you are stressing about.  It's a good opportunity to do some self reflection, try to find the silver lining, that's all we have!

 

 

[[de...]]

I'm 71 littlerain and have just had a return of the shaking.  My legs are jelly.  Also nausea.

 

Pretty sure it's WD, but am going to see GP as also have stinging, itching, vagina.  No discharge.  Sorry, if tmi.  Don't care anymore.  Just need to get this thing sorted. 

 

Dee

[[li...]]

Thanks to all who replied. Having some very bad days now. Hoping it improves soon. I’m so tired....