What and how you think matters, an experiment in self love

[[Ma...]]

Your nervous system is a live wire right now. Every thought reverberates hard through all your systems. It won't always be this way. Eventually, you'll be like every one else out there, you'll be able to have angry, fearful, hateful moments and still get a decent night's sleep but if you're anything like me, right now, you can't. This has nothing to do with the validity of your feelings, or the legitimacy of your fears, this is a difficult line to walk, but it's a conscious choice made out of self love, and self love is never a bad thing to practice. I haven't been too good at it. I'm self critical, always, nothing is good enough. I blame myself for all of this even though I know it's not my fault. I long for things to change which is terribly stressful as they can't, not just like that. I emotionally leave myself in impossible situations on a daily basis and this is painful, this causes stress, stress causes symptoms. We can't control what happens to us exteriorly, and I don't know how realistic this is, but I'm going to make an effort to put self love first, to take my feeling seriously as I would any child I loved. To please myself as much as possible. To give myself what I need as much as possible. There is no perfect system, but I notice, when I pay attention to myself, something inside of me stops clamouring to be heard and that brings a certain level of peace. I also figure, if I'm coming from a place of love, I'm more likely to act from it, which will make me a better friend. It's an exercise. It can't hurt.

 

[[Fa...]]

I wish I could say this worked.  I've "thought" every positive thought on the planet and I'm still in this mess.

 

In fact, it's the depression that has reared it's ugly head again.  I'm doing all the 'right' things.  Positive thoughts, eating right, no caffeine, no drugs, no medicine, no alcohol (I never did any of that before anyway).  I'm living life as fully as possible; cooking cleaning driving, you name it.

 

I've been practicing "self love" for over a year now.

 

I feel like I'm back in acute the past few days.

 

It's horrible.

 

But I will continue.  I too believe positive thinking is one of the keys to surviving this.  Even if it doesn't feel like it's helping right now.

 

I'm just so lost.

 

Sorry to be a downer on your post.  It's a good post.  I just wish I could tell you it works.

 

 

[[Co...]]

I mean we're going to feel the way that we feel regardless so giving up hope isn't going to change anything might as well at least live with a potential of things getting better vs what nothing I guess right? What else is there to do

[[se...]]

I mean we're going to feel the way that we feel regardless so giving up hope isn't going to change anything might as well at least live with a potential of things getting better vs what nothing I guess right? What else is there to do

 

No.  Change your thinking, change your health.  Learn how to hope.  It's not a choice by default.

[[Ma...]]

Im not saying it will cause withdrawal to end, withdrawal will take the time it takes, but it will probably help you to feel better while you're going through it. Example: I used to get really bad vertigo. It would hit hard and fast and I'd find myself on the ground. I'm a bit strange, I found this hysterical, I would sit on the ground and laugh at how nuts this was. Or if it wasn't so bad that I would fall, or if I was setting, I'm imagine myself in a roller coaster and mentally throw my hand over my head and think weeeeeeeeee. I still had the vertigo, but laughing feels whole lot better than being terrified and hyper ventilating. If you're having fear as a symptom, which I get too, I find I can notice it now and realize what's happening, try to slow my breathing, and if I can't, I can still be gentle and think of myself as a terrified child and have a good deal of kindness and compassion towards myself, and I'm telling you for a fact, this helps. You can add gasoline to a fire or not, but adding gas makes it burn higher, that's for certain.