agoraphobia

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Not many respond to my posts. IM just wondering if any one knows the mechanism behind the development of agoraphobia and why it happens. Why is my agoraphobia worse at 1 year off? I was driving and going places and had several bad experiences with panic/sensory overload while being in the car and since then I havent gone anywhere. Im suppose to be going to my neighbros graduation party and I cant even go outside. the pure 110% fear and terror. I dont get it!!!!!!!! am I going into a psychosis? I have most of the prodromal symptoms of it.

 

maybe ive always had agoraphobia and the Vatican and Zoloft just covered it up. IM sitting typing this and looking out the window thinking how are all those people standing around talking. im tired of feeling this way.

[[NH...]]

I never had agoraphobia before xanax, and I never experienced any of it while at a higher dose of xanax, but I have a bad case of it now.

I don't want to go out. I find people very annoying and my house has become a safe place for me to go through my withdrawal. I take the garbage out late at night when everyone is asleep and I try to mow the lawn when most people are at work.

I don't understand the mechanism behind it, but I do believe it has ties to withdrawal from benzo's.

I have always been a social butterfly so this is quite a change from the norm for me.

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I developed agoraphobia while on ativan, 6 months before I stated my quick taper. I was also a social bug, went 1,000 places a week always on the go. I just hope this is from wd and that im not too traumatized when/if I "heal". Your still tapering? I did a quick 6 week taper and I think that left my CNS in a hyperexcitable state.

[[NH...]]

I am still tapering. I am not entirely sure my current dose is even doing anything as I have had sxs 1 hour or 2 hours after taking a pill which never used to happen.

You will heal, and you will heal 100%. I have invested countless time reading the testimonies of others to be sure of that as I was at a point not long ago where I was wondering if it was even worth it. I wanted to just go back to my full dose as things were so much more tolerable when I was taking that amount. But I'm committed to this process, even though it looks like it will be at least another 3 years to get to 100%.

 

That said I am feeling pretty good more often than not at my current dose with most sxs. The agoraphobia is one that doesn't seem to change. It's there and isn't moving yet. Yet being the key word.

I think your 6 week taper might make what you experience far worse. I have been told many times that the slow taper is best.

But the way I see your situation is that you are in the thick of it now and it will only get better as you go. Your sxs are very likely far more extreme than mine, but they will keep getting better and better as time passes. It's not psychosis, it's normal for your situation. Our brains are damaged and need a lot of time to recover. But they will recover.

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thank you so much. I think part of the reason ( well most of the reason) I have agoraphobia while out is when im out I have extreme sensory overload. Even driving in the car lately I have to cover with a blanket as looking out the window makes me feel like im on acid in outer space. my perception is off, things things amplified, its just bizarre. Im definitely in the thick of it thats for sure. I dont know why it is getting worse now at a year off. I wish I would of slowly tapered but oh well cant go back now. Its hard to believe people heal through this. I read success stores and dont ever think that will be me. Thats good that your feeling slightly better, im sure one your completely off it wont take you long to be 100% then. When I stated tapering I was miserable and never ever stabilised. I cut my dose every few days to few weeks very quickly. I had a Benzo wise dr who told me in the begging when I hit tolerance to up dose, stay at that dose for awhile then slowly taper. I didn't listen. I thought I will feel fine in a few weeks. ahhhhh what I wouldn't give to go back and re do things. to never touch a Benzo again. the slew of symptoms ive experienced are in humane and no one should have to endure. best of luck with the rest of your taper and healing.

[[NH...]]

Thanks, I wish you the best as well.

 

I think one way to look at it is this: We are coming off a "Benzo High" which damaged our brains, so as we heal new things will pop up. 1 year off and you are getting new symptoms seems to fit with the research I did. I have assumed it will be 3 years from the time of my last pill to get to 100% and of course with benzo's it's not a gradual improvement, more like an EKG of ups and downs. with a slight taper.

When we are in the thick of it like you are it's easy to get that feeling that you will never be fully recovered, but you will.

When you say "What I wouldn't give to go back and re do things." I have to smile, my original post when applying to get on this forum was titled, "Wish I had never taken that first pill."

I too would never wish this on anyone. It's like being waterboaded for years on end.

What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and when you are healed, and you will be, imagine how tough you are going to be!

Just keep up the fight, even when you feel your worst never stop fighting. That is how you win.