Hi. I need help and support

[[Em...]]

Hello all. I’ve finally decided to reach out. I was taking clonozapem for about two years and then switched to Xanax for panic attacks..the dosage continuously grew higher as I developed a tolerance. I was taking bars of Xanax on top of my 4mg a day. I’ve struggled with addictions my whole life. So it’s easy to say my benzo use got extremely out of hand. My family decided to intervene and after an ugly scene I decided to get help. I did a medical detox which did absolutely nothing.. I was in the hospital for 5 days before they took me off the drug completely. I heard from most people a taper is required but my doctors were confident I would be fine. I went home and became deathly ill. At day 11 I had a bunch of grand mal seizures and was hospitalized for a week. It’s been about 3 months of being off benzos completely. I’m definitely better but I’m still really struggling. I’m having such a difficult time coping with the longevity of this withdrawal. I had to quit my job.. my family is lovingly helping me but I can see they’re pretty broken about my state. It’s pathetic and I don’t blame them. It’s getting harder and harder to be optimistic about being healthy again. My family tries very hard to be understanding but they’re getting frustrated that I’m still pretty useless. I’m forcing myself to go on walks and eat better, But there are many hours in the day.

I panic when I have to leave the house and be around people. I’m super hopeless and don’t really talk to anyone anymore. I feel so out of touch and lost. I don’t know who I am anymore.

When will I start to feel like myself again? Whoever that is

[[Gr...]]

 

Hello, Emilyann - Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

Congratulations on becoming benzo-free!  Going cold turkey can be very rough.  I'm so sorry you had seizures.  That can be very scary. Three months after, it is very normal to still be having symptoms of withdrawal.  I'm sorry you had to quit your job.  Benzo withdrawal can really affect so many parts of our lives.  It's great that you have a supportive family behind you. 

 

I'm so glad you decided to join the forum - you'll find plenty of information and support here. Our members have gone through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, so you'll be able to connect with others who understand what you're going through and can tell you what has worked for them.

 

Please feel free to post to any of the specialized boards, which can all be accessed from the BenzoBuddies Community Forum homepage. Based on the information provided in your introduction, the following links may be a good starting place for you:

 

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

 

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal

 

When you have a chance, I highly recommend that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr. C. Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations on the reasons for their existence.

 

For those who are currently tapering, we suggest reducing no faster than 5-10% every 10-14 days, and some taper even slower than that. One exception: very short-term users of a few weeks or less may be able to taper faster than that. 

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature. This will allow members to see where you are in the process, so that they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

Greencup 

[[Sa...]]

Hi Emily! 

 

Welcome and congratulations on being Benzo Free.  I CT from Xanax and I’m at months 4.5, symptoms are still numerous.  However, I have been a little better in month 5.  It can be slow, difficult, but I feel totally worth it.

 

There is a post by Parker, (What’s happening to your brain), maybe someone will post the link for you and your family.  I will try tomorrow.

 

Hold on.  SaraSue

[[be...]]

Hi Emily! 

 

Welcome and congratulations on being Benzo Free.  I CT from Xanax and I’m at months 4.5, symptoms are still numerous.  However, I have been a little better in month 5.  It can be slow, difficult, but I feel totally worth it.

 

There is a post by Parker, (What’s happening to your brain), maybe someone will post the link for you and your family.  I will try tomorrow.

 

Hold on.  SaraSue

[[Sa...]]

Thank you, begood.

 

Emily, click the link for a fabulous explanation.

 

Sara

[[Ma...]]

Welcome to bb Emily.  I am so sorry you've gone through something so horrific.  My heart breaks for you, but the good news is, you are in a community with lots of people with experience recovering from theses awful drugs.  The moderator sent you some great links to read.  I need you to do me a favor.

Go back to the post the moderator sent and look toward the bottom.  You will see a link to your signature, we need you to put your drug history there so we can give you the best advise possible.

Again welcome to bb, Mary 💘🙏💙💘🙏💙💘 

[[Em...]]

Thank you all so much for your comments and advice! It’s amazing how much better I feel after reading your responses. When they say you can’t do this on your own it was no joke. So I can’t thank you enough for welcoming me with such kindness..

 

I’m new to this sort of thing so bare with me as I learn the ins and outs. I’ve begun reading the attachments you’ve provided and I’m going to get my signature set up soon.

 

I can’t put into words how grateful I am

 

-EmilyAnn