hard to describe but bad

[[cr...]]

Guys. Im having really bad withdrawal in a way thats hard to describe because im confused. Basically in extreme withdrawal so bear with my broken mind ATM. 9 days off every supplement again. B vitamin, cbd bud and oil, magnesium set back. One of those messed with me somehow. I bet it was the mag. Dang sensitivities. In acute reset. Idk. I'm having withdrawal in a way that i recognize similar symptoms that haven't appeared in a long time. Im waking up in states of negativity. Cant think positive thoughts. Brains burning of course. Eyes watering. It's late at night so I should be having window. I always have windows at night. Small. But exist. Gone now. But yeah I feel same strange way of thinking i had if i missed a dose of ativan 2 years ago. High dose interdose. 2mg original dose. But I'm clean. It's hard to describe why its back. Or what it is. Shouldnt have this post jump unless set back. Its one of my extreme uncommon symptoms that doesnt appear often. Only when i screw up. But yeah dark thoughts. No positive. Everything is scary. Im in hell. Almost siezure yesterday from electriciity in my brain. Can feel it. Wears me out. I'm in acute somehow. I'm toughing it out in bed. But feel like demons are in room. Torture me. Objects look strange. Have no distance. Quite mental ATM. Still avoiding hospital if i can. Parents watching me until I turn a corner. Could be a month b4 that happens though. Scared. Feel desperate need to take benzo. Or anything. Everything's bad. Evil psych meds. Something poisoned me again. I havent eaten in a while. Too messed up. Im hungry. Gotta force some leftover steak or something in me somehow. Jeez. Cant imagine it got this bad for everyone. Are you guys just tougher than me or am i having uncommon bad withdrawal? It's like a CT experience. Really shouldnt be this bad. Haven't even taken any rescue dose, but still feel withdrawal like last pill was yesterday.

[[de...]]

I had a return of dark thoughts at 70 days crescent.  Recently. 

 

Really freaked me out, but kept reminding myself it was the drug, not me.

 

I have experienced all that you describe.  Good your parents are with you. 

 

It passes crescent.  💕

 

Dee

[Guest [mi...]]

Hi Cres!

I'm in a similar state like you. Almost all the symptoms but I still functioning. Intrusive thoughts are the bad one. It happened to me  also when I started to take magnesium and Inositol I wasn't stable before taking them but not this bad. there were a few times I thought about going to a hospital this is one of them. But I will try to beat it. If you go to a hospital they are going to medicate you that's a fact. I'm going to stop all the supplements that were't that many and complicated. Omega 3, probiotics, magnesium, Inositol and tumeric. I think magnesium and B vitamins are the culprits. Hope you feel better !

Miguel

[[Ne...]]

My bet is on the drug you're taking (cannabis). Do you consume it with tobacco?

[[cr...]]

Nah its been a week since i smoked any high cbd bud. I dont ever touch tobacco. It puts me in Withdrawal.

[[Ea...]]

Just a heads up, I’ve noticed that if I compile substances on top of each other it can rev sx up more & more. Like if I consume caffeine with sugar & then eat something with MSG while taking supplements in the same day or hrs within ea other, there’s a much higher potential of being thrown into a wave. That could b something as simple as eating take out, drinking a coke, & taking a magnesium supplement with my food. Putting a lot of different substances especially stimulants or supplements makes the probability of being thrown into a wave much higher. It’s also possible that the sx of cannabis wd could b contributing to the acute wd like feeling. Hope can figure out what works & what doesn’t for u. All the best in healing.

[[Cu...]]

Easy,

You seem to be doing pretty well...

I'm a little unclear w/your signature line - are you still taking ADs, muscle relaxants or any nerve pain meds?  Curious b/c I'm in lots of physical pain & can't take NSAIDs due to having had an ulcer...don't take any pain meds; a bit concerned what all the tylenol must be doing to my liver, but not under any doctors' care, nor trust 'em, any longer. 

So, wondering about you w/that...I've read on another thread about the exercising; just wondering how you're doing all that you are.    if you are, curious what ones you feel safe taking, in the event that I ever feel I can't tolerate so much constant pain any longer yet being scared of all rx meds. now.

[[Ea...]]

Easy,

You seem to be doing pretty well...

I'm a little unclear w/your signature line - are you still taking ADs, muscle relaxants or any nerve pain meds?  Curious b/c I'm in lots of physical pain & can't take NSAIDs due to having had an ulcer...don't take any pain meds; a bit concerned what all the tylenol must be doing to my liver, but not under any doctors' care, nor trust 'em, any longer. 

So, wondering about you w/that...I've read on another thread about the exercising; just wondering how you're doing all that you are.    if you are, curious what ones you feel safe taking, in the event that I ever feel I can't tolerate so much constant pain any longer yet being scared of all rx meds. now.

 

Glad you asked. I’m no longer taking any prescription medications except for a BP med. The AD’s, muscle relaxers, & nerve pain medications were prescribed to me in various amounts from 2011-2018. I started taking gabapentin & other muscle relaxers when I started pain management in 2012 but never stayed on them for longer than a month. I injured my back while serving in the Marines from 2006-2010 but was left untreated until I was discharged. I think that’s why I was prescribed so many high powered meds at once. In 2011 I was prescribed 180 norco 10/325, 90 30 mg morphine sulfate, & 30 0.25 xanax, per month. I was already familiar with opioids bc of multiple injuries & surgeries throughout my lifetime, but that was my first introduction to benzo’s. I became dependent on the opioids fairly quickly but only took the xanax a couple days a week if that. I only took the xanax for about a year but continued taking opioids & abusing them until 2014 when I was first introduced to suboxone. I had had some side effects of Benzo wd but I just chalked it up to opioid wd or wear & tear on my body, no real drastic mental changes. Everything was good until mid 2015, for some reason I started getting a lot more anxiety than ever so I decided to start taking xanax again. IMO, this was a terrible idea bc when suboxone is combined with benzo’s it is intensified, & almost gives a heroin like high in large amounts. This is when things went downhill for me, within 6-8 month’s I was experiencing some pretty uncomfortable & concerning digestive issues that I personally thought were due to my opioid abuse but I now realize I was just experiencing tolerance wd bc it would b relieved whenever I would take my xanax, but I just didn’t put the 2 together. I started taking it as needed, maybe a couple days out of the week. My anxiety started getting worse too so this is when the doctor started wanting to try other medications as well. Seroquel, Amitriptyline, & Depakote to name a few. These didn’t really work for me the way I had hoped (not sure if I gave them enough time though) so I continued to just up my dosage of xanax. But by 2017 it was bad, I won’t go into too much detail bc it’s a lot to explain but I had an episode of medication induced psychosis. It had gotten so bad over the summer of 2018 that I had had enough. I couldn’t tell what was causing what problems anymore bc I was having horrible reactions to everything. So I said I’m done. Sept 1st, 2018 I had taken a total of 4 mg of xanax throughout that day try to elevate sx & felt worse than I did before so I just quit. All hell broke loose about 3 weeks later. Had 2 month’s straight of daily panic attacks horrible horrible abdominal & nerve pain. It was horrendous. Every sx u can think of minus a seizure. At the same time I had tapered down to 2 mg of suboxone but that started throwing me into panic at just 2 mg so I quit that too. For the next several month’s I steered clear of anything, I just wanted to b able to eat normal again. Around my 4th month I noticed a significant decline in sx intensity. So by month 6 I started to push myself exercising daily. Running & lifting daily to b exact, & haven’t stopped since. It was excruciating at first but I feel like I know my physical capabilities pretty well so I knew that no matter how horrible I felt it wasn’t possible that it was actually doing harm. And after about 3 weeks to a month I started feeling a whole lot better so I continued to push myself. Now I’m running a 5k in less than 25 min every time I go running, some days I’ve run up to 12 miles. Basically all I’ve been using for pain has been kratom. I’ve been trying to keep things as natural as possible since I developed such drastic chemical sensitivities. But since I’ve been running daily I feel like my sensitivities r getting a whole lot better. If I need to, I can take aleve or Tylenol, although I won’t take Benadryl bc I had a horrible reaction to that while in acute. But the other day my seasonal allergies got so bad I decided to take a generic Claritin & it really helped & didn’t cause any sort of concerning reaction. I was pretty nervous about meds for quite some time, but if I couldn’t take it & had to use something, I would take the lowest dosage possible with food or milk so that it wouldn’t absorb so fast. I think this has helped quite a bit. I know there’s a lot of information here & I was trying to save the majority for my success story when I feel 100% sx free bc I know I’m getting there. I hope this can help & if ur unclear or curious about anything shoot me a PM, hope u can find what works for u. You’ll get there, all the best in healing.