Sudden insane anxiety

[[mi...]]

I just started with my 4th month off benzos and was hit with an insane wave of anxiety. I only went through three or four days like this during the taper (which was quick) and the first three months. My problem was more with dizziness. April was actually pretty good, very few symptoms. However, this wave that started two nights ago seem to be the worst I have ever felt. I feel tremors inside my body (even though I am not actually shaking) which prevents me from falling asleep. Now that I have not slept for two days I am feeling exhausted which in turn makes the anxiety worse. Why so sudden ? Why after a good month ? What can i do in order to be able to function as I have work that i need to go back to ?

[[ba...]]

Hang in there! I also had panic attacks after the fourth month. By the fifth month it was easier. Hugs!

[[bl...]]

Your brain is re-wiring there’s some article written on the site and how your brain is re-wiring in benzo a drawl you have some good month ms some bad days etc. it can be a grueling process for some people but the longer you stay off the better gets. We just want to get better overnight it doesn’t work that way and benzo withdrawal.

[[We...]]

milo - I'm entering month four also after a quick taper, though not as fast as yours.  I know exactly what you mean about feeling frustrated with those waves this far out but I'm learning to see it as healing and rewiring too.  It keeps me sane.  Some days its harder to see it as maybe a positive sign of healing.  And yeah, the exhaustion can make the anxiety worse which gets me going in a negative loop.  I get caught up in my head sometimes going around and around with worrying about the future which of course makes it worse.  I also get that 'inner trembling' more than I would like.  I get a lot of good days too, though.  Hope the same for you.

 

Things are generally getting better overall, though I know the odd wave can be frustrating and they seem to come right on the heels of seeing really good progress and feeling optimistic.  Like a nasty prankster.  Aargh!  But oh how much better than where I started!!!

 

Thanks bazil for saying your month five is looking better.  That's hugely encouraging.

 

Keep the faith milo.  As long as we're off the benzos our nervous system is healing.  In its own meandering way.

[[ba...]]

☺❤

[[mi...]]

The big question is if I am hurting myself by going through this. I am constantly having this almost panicky feeling, especially when I am going to sleep which prevents me from sleeping and that makes the anxiety even worse the next day. I have no experience in dealing with this as I never had such a bad wave even during my acute period. Can I hurt my CNS by allowing this to continue? Is there any relief that will not hinder the progress?

[[We...]]

I don't think this is hurting you milo.  It's your nervous system healing and a very normal part of the process.  I can understand your distress having it happen this far out from your jump.  The benzos have done a lot of damage and healing is a tricky business where you can hit potholes along the way.  Healing is definitely not linear.  But it is in a way...I can honestly say it's always getting better, despite the disturbing potholes.

 

If it helps, when I hit a bad patch of symptoms, it always follows that I get graced with a stretch of feeling better.  I am hoping that happens for you too.

 

This can be a time where many have tried to reinstate or try other medications.  In my humble opinion, many, if not most,  end up wishing they had not gone that route, unless it is seriously life threatening.  The only way out is through and it can be uncomfortable at times.  Trust the process

 

Give your body a chance to heal.  It is striving to do so every day you are off the medication.  Patience, time, acceptance, trust.  Eat well, avoid unnecessary stress, rest when you need to and when your responsibilities allow, move/exercise as you are able, however small.  It gets better!!!  It really does.

[[mi...]]

Welchie, thank you very, very much for your support. What I don't understand is the following: my main reason for taking the meds in the first place was to improve the quality of sleep. I was anxious and not sleeping well even before the meds. Now that Iam off them I am sleeping like a mouse (waking up a million times per night). That is putting a lot of pressure on my anxious nervous system producing additional anxiety and reducing the sleep quality even further. If you can please give me your oppinion: how is my brain going to heal with time when it was not properly working in the first place (even before the benzos) ?

[[We...]]

I understand about the negative loop you're talking about.

 

There could be a lot of reasons why you were not sleeping before...I don't know if you are male or female...but I struggled with sleep through menopause.  Sometimes I drank way too much coffee.  I tend to be a worrier by nature and sometimes certain situations would keep me awake at night.  I don't drink, but I know alcohol can have a rebound effect with sleep.  It could be heavy metals...maybe mercury fillings in your teeth.  It could be you just need to learn to say no to people who drain your time and energy and make more time for yourself.  Maybe you're restricting something in your diet like sodium or fats or proteins.  Maybe you are vegan and don't eat meat.  Maybe you are a heavy meat eater and don't eat enough vegetables.  Maybe you exercise way too much, or not at all.  If you reflect back, you may see what the root cause might have been.  I would bet you may find some stressor, something similar to one of the things I mentioned.  Could be a blood sugar problem too.  Maybe not enough time in the sun etc. etc.  A very good alternative doctor may be a good place to start.

 

The one thing I am absolutely certain of milo...the benzos will turn a bad situation into your worst nightmare.  You are not deficient in Klonopin, Valium, Xanax or Ativan.   

 

I've become reluctant to make hard and fast suggestions because we're all different and react to things in our own unique way...but I'll say that I had really good luck adding the powdered supplement taurine to my routine.  If you check it out online you'll see it's good for anxiety.  Vitamin B6 (the P-5-P form from NOW) helped me too.  It's relaxing and I take it an hour or two before bed.  I just make sure I don't overdo these supplements.  They pretty much knocked the post jump anxiety.  The B-vitamins - broad spectrum - were helpful also...very small doses.  But too much of these can have the opposite effect.  Healthy fats helped, like olive oil, cod liver oil, coconut oil.  The brain loves fats.  A pinch of Himalayan pink salt in my water helped because exhausted adrenals like salt and that is also relaxing. 

 

I noticed some people here, for some reason, are reluctant to try certain supplements but have no problem reaching for an anti-depressant or Benadryl or mirt or gabapectin etc.  They usually regret it.  So the choice is always yours, of course.  There's no painless way to get off these pills.  Though I suppose there are some that have done that and they are not on this forum. 

 

I got on the benzos for sleep issues too.  They worked great for a little while.  I had no idea, at all, the hell I was about to enter with these things.  I was going through an over the top, long term stressful situation with a failing elderly father and I stopped sleeping.  Enter the benzos.  But sleep was always a frequent problem for me too.

 

Those issues you're having, I had too.  I still have to some degree, though much, much better.

 

If you do decide to go back on the benzos, do some research first about what is called 'kindling'.

 

Good luck milo!!!

 

[[mi...]]

Thank you soooo much again for your help and support. I will look into everything you mentioned as far as the supplements. Just FYI, I am a man, early 50s, worrier just like you to which I attribute the anxiety before the meds. Now I worry about this situation more than anything and that is not helping either.

[[in...]]

Milo,

Before you try to sleep you might try distraction... It could be a podcast (interesting, and not about medical stuff), I put mine on a sleep timer. If you are thinking about the program you help your brain step away from anxious thoughts and they have less likelihood  to follow into dreams. I also took about meletonin before bed.

 

I know it is really tough with extreme anxiety. Yiou might also try to step outside as an observer rather than a participant. It is a mental exersize but might help.

 

Hang in there. I am only five weeks of bz , after 30+ years of use for extreme panic attacks and anxiety. I did a two year tough taper (I am male, turn 62 tomorrow 5/7). I expect I still have a difficult journey, but with support we will all get through this and heal.  All my best thoughts and hopes for your anxiety to drop again, and soon. Hang in there.

[[ba...]]

It's okay! Do not be discouraged!☺