absolutely no support, any ideas?

[[Ba...]]

I have tried to move from valium to some clonopin, see if feel better.  I'd say so far no.  Previously went from clon to valium to taper off, but never well enough to do that.

 

Last night upped by 1 mg valium in attempt to gt to a dr. appt withe nth help of a neighbor... we'll see.  Neighbor, tho will be moving in a month so no help at all then.  None.

 

I don't think this is possible without some local support.  I can't find any.  If I go to local dr. say I ried to taper off, they can cut me off.  I could see addiction specialist but he within same networ so that would all come up on computers.  So afraid to roc the boat but the boat is sinking.

Dr. who supposedly benzo wise, and not in the networ computer sstem, has said up this one, go to other benzo, need to gt me stable and some sleep.  He is right but now?  Nowhe taling fast detox via phenobbarb and I hear no, should not do that.

 

 

Longtime friend of 50 years just not interested in me at all.  Very sad on that.  No family... a cousin up north but can hardly ask to be taken in through the years t will tae dealing with this.

 

Have skype friend in Australia who would tae me in but I am sic adnd that so far and, well, it not be quiet environment.  But she only person interested.

 

Open to ideas-- I am rung out.  With deprssn/agoraphobia/phobias/vibrating/more for years now don't see a way out.

thx.

[[id...]]

This sounds all too familiar. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

About the doc: it's best to do your own taper using Ashton manual. Most doctors will not properly taper you. So you'd have to tell them you're on your regular dose so that you could taper as slow as your body needs. Addiction specialist would be the worst move in your situation. They'll rip you off of benzos and will make it almost impossible to obtain benzos though the same medical network. There's also a risk they'll label you as "doctor shopping addict" if you try to use a different network.

 

For local support: you won't get much help if you ask for help as an addict or as someone trying to quit a drug and going through withdrawal. Tell people that you have neurological or autoimmune issues (both are true). Don't go into much detail about medications. Most people will only hear "can't quit drugs cold turkey" and filter out the rest. Obviously don't lie, but explain your symptoms separately from the benzo story. Maybe try local ME/CFC groups to get more tips for support options?

[[Ba...]]

This sounds all too familiar. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

About the doc: it's best to do your own taper using Ashton manual. Most doctors will not properly taper you. So you'd have to tell them you're on your regular dose so that you could taper as slow as your body needs. Addiction specialist would be the worst move in your situation. They'll rip you off of benzos and will make it almost impossible to obtain benzos though the same medical network. There's also a risk they'll label you as "doctor shopping addict" if you try to use a different network.

 

For local support: you won't get much help if you ask for help as an addict or as someone trying to quit a drug and going through withdrawal. Tell people that you have neurological or autoimmune issues (both are true). Don't go into much detail about medications. Most people will only hear "can't quit drugs cold turkey" and filter out the rest. Obviously don't lie, but explain your symptoms separately from the benzo story. Maybe try local ME/CFC groups to get more tips for support options?

 

Thanks for input on addiction dr... yes ,, hesitant to do that but so need some expert help.  Guess should look elsewhere, huh?  Some dr. has to know the truth and my dosages, don't they?  The one who has trid up, down, another benzo does know.  But can't seem to help.  I have done Ashton (or slower and not gotten off.  That is when he suggstd phenobarb.

 

But other benzo peopl say no...  either bump it up to where you can function/stabilize, or microtaper as Ashton taper not worked.

 

I get so depressed and inert it is terrible.  Vibrations all the time and semi agoraphobic and phobic driving so how, on own get to dr. appts even?  sigh.

 

Very afraid for when neighbor moves as nobody else.  Sad that he will wind up on the street, too.  He a strange person with severe issues but a kind person.

[[Ri...]]

First, I want to tell you you're going to be okay. Hold right now, and stabilize. I tapered for 8 months and I only updosed three times and I would only give back what I took away that threw me over the edge. My experience with updosing is that it is never really worth it. It's just not. It still takes time to level out from doing that and you go backwards not forward. If you are finding yourself in a place where you are having to do that and have no support, you must cut slower. take your time. Micro taper, you will thank yourself in the end, trust me. I dont know if you have a cutting schedule or if you are very regimented but you must take your dose the same time every day. It has to be precise measurements as well. You need to eat clean. Food didn't set me off in the beginning but it did half way through up until now. I'm 2 days free. This is my best advice. Don't put yourself in a position where you feel overwhelmed by horrid symptoms. Remember every change you make to your pill, including switching which benzodiazepine you take will require a period of leveling. Updosing requires leveling, cutting requires leveling. Stick to the benzodiazepine you are going to use and let yourself level. Once you level a little you can cut again, but like I said...theres no use in making the situation worse cutting yourself super hard. Don't make the anxiety worse and exasperate the bad feeling you have about having no support. As for the doctor, I forgot to look at your signature...I don't know how much you are on but you should talk to a GP doctor about adding Benadryl to your day as needed. I don't know what sort of health condition you are, what you are or aren't allergic to/possible drug interactions and I am not a doctor so its best you discuss with your doctor if taking Benadryl is okay for you and how to take it. It helps me every single day. I'm rambling but I cannot stress enough you have to stop switching things up and updosing. Slow and steady won my race, I'm sure it will help you with yours. Best wishes, and here for you if you have questions.

[[or...]]

Can't you see a therapist? I had a couple of buddies in the UK and they found therapists who were a great support for them. Maybe you call them counselors over there. They won't fix anything, but they will listen to you, be a sounding board for your w/d (mine actually read The Ashton Manual), and be completely on your side.

 

Doesn't your NHS pay for these people? And if not, one of my UK buddies found her own via a nonprofit group and the cost was zero. The NPO was called Empathy. She (BB) lives in Manchester. I don't know where you live, but a Google search ought to turn up therapists/counselors.

 

Can't you reach out in this way? Sorry for your plight, but sometimes we have to find our own sources of support if friends, family are absent.

 

Katz

[[bl...]]

See link might give you some suggestions and help

 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-benzo-free-podcast/id1453414606?i=1000434570525

[[wr...]]

I have tried to move from valium to some clonopin, see if feel better.  I'd say so far no.  Previously went from clon to valium to taper off, but never well enough to do that.

 

Last night upped by 1 mg valium in attempt to gt to a dr. appt withe nth help of a neighbor... we'll see.  Neighbor, tho will be moving in a month so no help at all then.  None.

 

I don't think this is possible without some local support.  I can't find any.  If I go to local dr. say I ried to taper off, they can cut me off.  I could see addiction specialist but he within same networ so that would all come up on computers.  So afraid to roc the boat but the boat is sinking.

Dr. who supposedly benzo wise, and not in the networ computer sstem, has said up this one, go to other benzo, need to gt me stable and some sleep.  He is right but now?  Nowhe taling fast detox via phenobbarb and I hear no, should not do that.

 

 

Longtime friend of 50 years just not interested in me at all.  Very sad on that.  No family... a cousin up north but can hardly ask to be taken in through the years t will tae dealing with this.

 

Have skype friend in Australia who would tae me in but I am sic adnd that so far and, well, it not be quiet environment.  But she only person interested.

 

Open to ideas-- I am rung out.  With deprssn/agoraphobia/phobias/vibrating/more for years now don't see a way out.

thx.

 

This is definitely one of the most difficult parts of withdrawal, but in some ways I think it's easier if you're not constantly surrounded by people. Simply because as much as people want to help - they can't fully understand the hell that is benzo withdrawal. For all the clear or creative articulation in the world, it's just not possible for someone to fully understand the depth and scale of this. So in some ways it can feel more isolating when you're around people, and more frustrating for you and them when they genuinely want to help.

 

I know it doesn't seem like it now but there's a beauty and gift in being your own best friend, counsellor and nurse for a while. Don't get me wrong we all need support and some socialisation every now and then but that can come back fully when you're better.

 

The time you spend healing yourself, being your own support system, will be one of the greatest gifts life can give you. It will give you such a profound sense of inner strength and achievement that anything will feel possible, you'll be the most empathetic person you could ever hope to be, and you'll cherish the amazing relationships that do then come back into your life (and just discard any negative ones).

 

I know this all sounds easier said than done, but I say this wholeheartedly having lived alone, away from friends and family whilst dealing with this.

By all means I think reaching out for any support is a great idea, but I'd say don't try and pin all your hopes on other people because let's face it this is a struggle for us all going through it - imagine being someone that can't experience it feeling like it's all on their shoulders.

 

My advice and what's worked for me is take this is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with yourself, get to know yourself again, keep telling yourself in the darkest moments tomorrow is another day, with endless possibilities.

 

Read books, blogs and watch films and videos of inspiring stories (not just limited to benzo withdrawal) and you'll be uplifted , inspired and feel a connection to humanity in general.

 

I wouldn't say I'm religious but finding some kind of faith in religion or the universe , energy, whatever it is has been proven to make you feel better. Connect with your spirituality. If you're not sure how, just see it as an adventure to start exploring.

 

I hope some of that helps. Remember this isn't forever, and all the things you want are potentially in the distance still.

[[...]]

Here in NY there are mental health respite centers who might take you in, free of charge, for a short amount of time.

[[Ba...]]

No, I am better if I am distractd a bit and miss humn contat of any sort.

 

No respite centers here.

 

Phoned again to find some mental health services and nada... altho they passd a bill taxing for such services but it goes to the homeless and psychotics, etc.

[[de...]]

You might have already stated this Barbara, apologies if so. 

 

What do you reckon your greatest need is?  Transport, company of others, that sort of thing? 

 

I actually don't mind living by myself, but during these troubled times it would be so good to have someone to help with housework, cooking, and transport.  I am now able to shower unaided. 

 

Sounds like I need a maid, when in fact I hate being dependent on others, but now....it's so hard. 

 

Dee

 

 

[[oc...]]

I have tried to move from valium to some clonopin, see if feel better.  I'd say so far no.  Previously went from clon to valium to taper off, but never well enough to do that.

 

Last night upped by 1 mg valium in attempt to gt to a dr. appt withe nth help of a neighbor... we'll see.  Neighbor, tho will be moving in a month so no help at all then.  None.

 

I don't think this is possible without some local support.  I can't find any.  If I go to local dr. say I ried to taper off, they can cut me off.  I could see addiction specialist but he within same networ so that would all come up on computers.  So afraid to roc the boat but the boat is sinking.

Dr. who supposedly benzo wise, and not in the networ computer sstem, has said up this one, go to other benzo, need to gt me stable and some sleep.  He is right but now?  Nowhe taling fast detox via phenobbarb and I hear no, should not do that.

 

 

Longtime friend of 50 years just not interested in me at all.  Very sad on that.  No family... a cousin up north but can hardly ask to be taken in through the years t will tae dealing with this.

 

Have skype friend in Australia who would tae me in but I am sic adnd that so far and, well, it not be quiet environment.  But she only person interested.

 

Open to ideas-- I am rung out.  With deprssn/agoraphobia/phobias/vibrating/more for years now don't see a way out.

thx.

 

I'm sorry you are still having a tough time.

 

Keep trying to push thru. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I suppose this is one of those life tests that you have to go thru. I have never had so many problems as i have had in the last year.

 

It seems as if one problem rolls right into another problem and then another. But you have to keep pushing thru. Just know that there are people on here that want to you to push thru and make it.

 

Good luck.

[[Ba...]]

thanks.

 

Having been an independent person, even if can find some help, with erratic schedule it will be a stress.

But i feel have noquality of life. 

I am not someone who can be ok being dependent. 

I hae used up my inner resources after all these years...

[[oc...]]

If you need support let me know. I know that it might not be exactly what you need but its about all i know to do.

 

There really needs to be a real time chat room set up or a way people can video conference with other.

[[Ba...]]

yes, real time chat would help.

 

thx for saying i can reach out.