Non-uplifting poem I wrote today

[[...]]

For background info, I'm a protracted hero. Reaching 3 1/2 years off the benzo on Monday.

Here goes:

 

 

There are some victims of illness who pray

 

“G-d, please, give me one more day”,

 

But G-d says no, and they’re taken away.

 

 

 

And others like me, all we’re able to do is cry

 

“I want to die, I want to die, I want to die,”

 

But G-d says no, and I can’t understand why.

 

 

 

Is there some reason He wants me on earth

 

After I’ve lost every bit of my worth?

 

Every talent, every skill, my accomplishments

 

My social and cognitive intelligence?

 

 

 

What is the reason G-d says no

 

Is there some future for me that I don’t know?

 

Will there be a day I’ll wake up well

 

Or will I stay forever stuck in this hell?

 

 

 

Right now the clock reads  2 p.m.

 

I need to crawl out of bed again

 

Face plastered with tears, a headache, muscle pain

 

Another day to push through in vain.

 

 

 

Maybe one day when I’ll feel less ill

 

I’ll understand why I needed this bitter ‘pill’

 

This minute, this hour I’m still climbing uphill

 

One distraction at a time, doing G-d’s will.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Simply, -Thank you...

 

[[...]]

Thank you. 

[Guest [so...]]

Yes,  thank you.

[[ea...]]

Felt the same exact way. You did a good job writing this. How are you doing today?

[[Le...]]

Thank you.  There is a reason.  SO glad you are hanging on!

[[...]]

Can't sleep which is exacerbating other symptoms . . .

But thank you so much for the feedback.