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Met a family friend who withdrew from xanax


[cr...]

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So i talked with a friend of my parents about benzo withdrawal. He cold turkeyed a 2 year habit and ended up hallucinating for a week.

 

I described some of my physical health issues and he thinks I should just go to the hospital. I obviously have it worse than someone who went cold turkey.

 

Thoughts? I almost went anyway last night. BZ withdrawal has never stopped in 15 months. I keep getting sicker. Maybe he has a point. I look like im dying.

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Hospital is not a option maybe you have to reinstate a very small amount of long term benzodiazepine like Valium/Diazepam and try slow long tapering/titration. In hospital they will put you on lagre amounts of benzos or cocktails of them. This is only my point of view, you have to decide, it is your own choice what you think to do. If the withdrawal is so bad. Maybe this will help you maybe not now one knows in this hellish process.
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Hi crescentelite,

 

I'm so sorry your health has continually been on the decline.  Perhaps the cause may not be (entirely) attributable to benzos. 

 

Please do get a complete check up & blood work panel done by a doctor you trust (or get a good doctor referral from someone you trust).

 

You are worth it.  I wish you well.

 

xo,

sierra  :smitten:

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My blood check came back normal. I have an MRI scheduled next week. I feel like im too sick to make it. I may have to go to hospital to get that done. My parents friend told me just to refuse all meds.
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My blood check came back normal. I have an MRI scheduled next week. I feel like im too sick to make it. I may have to go to hospital to get that done. My parents friend told me just to refuse all meds.

When I cold turkeyed I was in hospital two weeks they want it to put me on Depakote/Gabapentin/AD or other benzos. So I refused and when my MRI and blood tests was coming normal they send me home only with magnesium. That was their solution. But that was mine experience. Hang on crescentelite

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If i reinstate all my suffering was for nothing. Really wish i could get my health back though. Idk if itd even work. Might. Or it might kill me.
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If i reinstate all my suffering was for nothing. Really wish i could get my health back though. Idk if itd even work. Might. Or it might kill me.

I was close to reinstate budd in January I was literally dying it was so brutal after 14 months off that I wasn care about anything, so after 2 weeks it was slowing down a bit.

Today I've read again Ashton's manual about that everytime we can be successfull if we failure first time in our withdrawal. I was on my edge in January and I was thinking to reinstate 5mg or 2,5mg of Valium and taper very very slowly with titration from Ashton manual. And this is still option for me if withdrawal are out of control at very very critical phase. If I can wait I will wait for healing but this my rescue plan B. But like I said thats mine personal opinion.

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My blood check came back normal. I have an MRI scheduled next week. I feel like im too sick to make it. I may have to go to hospital to get that done. My parents friend told me just to refuse all meds.

When I cold turkeyed I was in hospital two weeks they want it to put me on Depakote/Gabapentin/AD or other benzos. So I refused and when my MRI and blood tests was coming normal they send me home only with magnesium. That was their solution. But that was mine experience. Hang on crescentelite

 

Just wondering why they would send you home with Magnesium..what benefit would that provide?  Just curious.

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[53...]

15 months is a long time. To take a relapse can be very dangerous. My doc told me that going back on benzo can be really dangerous and make me more sick than I am right now. I took a relapse after 6 weelks from a CT. I got severe paradoxical reaction and kindling. I feel like you I am so sick and is  16 months off. I got a brutal wave in month 14 it lasted 6 weeks. 14 days less intense w/d and now in month 16 a brutal wave again. My dr dp is insane. I have been in a psych ward in my early w/d for several times during my w/d. They put me on antipsychotics and gave me ECT that made me loose my short term memory. Total time at the ward was 3 month. It didn't helped me at all. I was suicidal during this time so I was safe in that way. But to have w/d in a ward is not easy. I had severe akathisia during this time. The staff told me to stop walking around at the ward. They had no knowledge about w/d and told me it was caused by anxiety. I had over 100 symptoms. Today around 10. And my worst are my dr dp and my inner electric feeling. To going back on benzo and suffer like this one more time is it the best option?Once off stay off. At some point you have to stop taking them again. It can be sooner than you think. 

 

Magnesium...hit GABA receptors. I avoid everything that could effect my poor receptors.

 

Give up in this w/d is not an option for me. I just wait for this to turn a corner. And I had found out most people heal in month 24-36 Other heal, why wont we? Hold on I hope you can write your success story this year  :smitten:

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So i talked with a friend of my parents about benzo withdrawal. He cold turkeyed a 2 year habit and ended up hallucinating for a week.

 

I described some of my physical health issues and he thinks I should just go to the hospital. I obviously have it worse than someone who went cold turkey.

 

Thoughts? I almost went anyway last night. BZ withdrawal has never stopped in 15 months. I keep getting sicker. Maybe he has a point. I look like im dying.

 

Crescent, what specific symptoms are you have at present?

Have you seen any improvements over the course of the w/d, even if they have been nonlinear?

Could it be any of your support meds causing issue?  I see that you take oxymetazoline and CBD.  Oxymetazonline has some side effects that would overlap with w/d symptoms, and CBD has helped some, but other cannot tolerate it whilst in w/d.  Have you noticed any change in your w/d sx´s after you have taken either the oxymetazoline or the CBD?

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Reinstating can be really fatal and, as another buddy said, can lead to kindling and an even worse wd the next time. 14 months actually isn't that long in this game, unfortunately.

It's heartbreaking to see others heal so much faster than ourselves and that fact can easily lead to thoughts like something else is wrong with us. Most of the times it isn't though and it's all still from the drugs. I am 52 months off and not healed and the protracted board is full of people being of for much longer than you are and still ill (not saying this to scare you but to show you that still being in this with your timeframe off is not at all unnormal). Your turning point can be right around the corner! Stay strong and try to not get discouraged by others that are having an easier or shorter time with this wd.

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[53...]

Reinstating can be really fatal and, as another buddy said, can lead to kindling and an even worse wd the next time. 14 months actually isn't that long in this game, unfortunately.

It's heartbreaking to see others heal so much faster than ourselves and that fact can easily lead to thoughts like something else is wrong with us. Most of the times it isn't though and it's all still from the drugs. I am 52 months off and not healed and the protracted board is full of people being of for much longer than you are and still ill (not saying this to scare you but to show you that still being in this with your timeframe off is not at all unnormal). Your turning point can be right around the corner! Stay strong and try to not get discouraged by others that are having an easier or shorter time with this wd.

 

What kind of w/d do you still suffer from? Do you function at all?

This is scary but I know that 16 months isn't a llng time when healing from benzo use.

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My blood check came back normal. I have an MRI scheduled next week. I feel like im too sick to make it. I may have to go to hospital to get that done. My parents friend told me just to refuse all meds.

 

You may also want to get a nutritional deficiency test to see if you are depleted in any area. Hope you get better soon.

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All of my vitamins are in the normal range. Magnesium is for headaches, but i dont take it usually. That and cbd are my go to whenever I'm freaking out. But I rebound off the cbd hard. It also causes involuntary movements. Speaking of, I have some crazy akasthisia anyway. My mental symptoms consist of depersonalization and derealization. Anxiety and depression isnt worth mentioning. My physical symptoms are the real problem. I have extreme headaches, dizziness, boatyness, fatigue, feelings of lightheadedness, electric current feelings, parts of my brain shutting off or moving, muscle tension, numbness, tingling, along with other unexplainable head sensations. I havent gotten better at all since jumping. In fact, im much much worse and losing hope. Not that it matters. But if I didnt heal at all in 15, why should i expect the next 15 to be any better. Ive only had one window back in month 5. I read a book about one ladies experience and thought, wow she had it easy. Her problem is trying to CT. I tapered and im still like this. I watch YouTube vlogs of people improving over time and think, wow they have it easy. It only took them 90 days to start feeling better. I cant help but wonder if thats cus i cant go 90 days without taking something. I'm on day 20 again. My last set back involved CBD and magnesium as usual. Every day is he'll. Every day is torture. I feel like ive been in acute since month 6, when i drank alcohol. I'm conpletely non functional. I dont leave the house. It's hard to even walk. Car rides to doctors appointments end with me flopping around in the back of the minivan like a siezure patient while my parents try to drive smoothly. Riding in cars is a trigger. Looking at comouter monitors are also a trigger. I have epilepsy. Any sort of tv and I'm in even worse hell than usual. I cant do anything but sit here and think about benzo withdrawal all day.
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Have many of you seen psychiatrists/therapists for these extended issues? Especially the hallucinations/delusions. I'm wondering if these benzos might bring out dormant schizophrenia.
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All of my vitamins are in the normal range. Magnesium is for headaches, but i dont take it usually. That and cbd are my go to whenever I'm freaking out. But I rebound off the cbd hard. It also causes involuntary movements. Speaking of, I have some crazy akasthisia anyway. My mental symptoms consist of depersonalization and derealization. Anxiety and depression isnt worth mentioning. My physical symptoms are the real problem. I have extreme headaches, dizziness, boatyness, fatigue, feelings of lightheadedness, electric current feelings, parts of my brain shutting off or moving, muscle tension, numbness, tingling, along with other unexplainable head sensations. I havent gotten better at all since jumping. In fact, im much much worse and losing hope. Not that it matters. But if I didnt heal at all in 15, why should i expect the next 15 to be any better. Ive only had one window back in month 5. I read a book about one ladies experience and thought, wow she had it easy. Her problem is trying to CT. I tapered and im still like this. I watch YouTube vlogs of people improving over time and think, wow they have it easy. It only took them 90 days to start feeling better. I cant help but wonder if thats cus i cant go 90 days without taking something. I'm on day 20 again. My last set back involved CBD and magnesium as usual. Every day is he'll. Every day is torture. I feel like ive been in acute since month 6, when i drank alcohol. I'm conpletely non functional. I dont leave the house. It's hard to even walk. Car rides to doctors appointments end with me flopping around in the back of the minivan like a siezure patient while my parents try to drive smoothly. Riding in cars is a trigger. Looking at comouter monitors are also a trigger. I have epilepsy. Any sort of tv and I'm in even worse hell than usual. I cant do anything but sit here and think about benzo withdrawal all day.

 

Not to be callous at all, but this is likely your number one problem, not the withdrawal itself. I don’t care what it is, you need to find something to do and get out of your head. Get some jigsaw puzzles, relaxing easy ones, adult coloring book, anything. Find something to do.

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Uh oh. Another armchair diagnosis lol. Extreme withdrawal from benzos can and most likely will cause hallucinations, psychosis, and siezure disorders to pop up temporarily. Doesnt mean theyre carrying around dormant illnesses. My diagnosis is offically, "benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome." I went into my psychiatrist every month until I couldnt walk anymore.

 

And yeah. I have a book to read. But my point is that doing literally anything will stimulate me into extreme withdrawal. So my only option is to rest as much as possible. Which is horrible. I tried cooking the other day and just standing up for more than an hour while cooking almost sent me into siezure. I collapsed with everything spinning.

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Have many of you seen psychiatrists/therapists for these extended issues? Especially the hallucinations/delusions. I'm wondering if these benzos might bring out dormant schizophrenia.

 

I am questioning this same thing, JourneyOfMine -- but crescentlight, do not take that personally or as an armchair dx. Your situation might be unique in that you had preexisting condition of epilepsy prior to the benzo.  I am questioning it about myself considering my history, which I was not fully aware of prior to taking a benzo (as I am now hyperaware, able to see my own history clearly and now have a vocabulary to describe my symptoms, as I did not before visiting this site).

 

There really is no one size fits all in this matter.  That said, it seems you have a competent psychiatrist if you were given the dx of BWS.  I know that does not alleviate your symptoms, but so many here are struggling with the incompetency of medical providers not acknowledging that this sx´s could be BWS.

 

Do you think it is worth discussing a support med with your pdoc since you have been struggling with these symptoms for a significant period of time?

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I meant it in general for many of us, not you specifically. I'm wondering if I have Bipolar, Schizophrenia, and Epilepsy. I was already diagnosed OCD as a child, but "grew out of it". So, I don't really know what to think.
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Ohhhhh ok. Yeah my psychiatrist is 82 though! He could retire or pass away at any second. Despite being knowledgeable of bws he gave me hydroxyzine. And that messed me up big time. Plus he was recommending naltrexone. Lol why? Ive already quit. So just more pointless drugs. Im staying away from things after making myself sick with them in september. Well that and my cannabis setback in december. He thought thatd be a good idea. One my worst waves to date.
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Ohhhhh ok. Yeah my psychiatrist is 82 though! He could retire or pass away at any second. Despite being knowledgeable of bws he gave me hydroxyzine. And that messed me up big time. Plus he was recommending naltrexone. Lol why? Ive already quit. So just more pointless drugs. Im staying away from things after making myself sick with them in september. Well that and my cannabis setback in december. He thought thatd be a good idea. One my worst waves to date.

 

I am taking hydroxyzine, too.  I don´t like the side effects, but it is the only way I am surviving at present.  It doesn´t work too well, but it is all I have to work with right now.

 

What happened when you took it, if I may ask?

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It worked really well. Felt like an amazing sedative. But I started getting sicker and sicker and sicker. Wished i never took it now. It just made my withdrawal worse. I began relying on it just like ativan. Would go into extreme withdrawal if i didnt take it. And then I made the dumb mistake of cold turkeying it. Everything started spinning and i had headaches for 2 months straight. I can't eat food with msg now to. My cns became ultra sensatized. If your not having issues with it though, probably stay on it till your ready to taper. It definitely works for some ppl. I was just unlucky.
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It worked really well. Felt like an amazing sedative. But I started getting sicker and sicker and sicker. Wished i never took it now. It just made my withdrawal worse. I began relying on it just like ativan. Would go into extreme withdrawal if i didnt take it. And then I made the dumb mistake of cold turkeying it. Everything started spinning and i had headaches for 2 months straight. I can't eat food with msg now to. My cns became ultra sensatized. If your not having issues with it though, probably stay on it till your ready to taper. It definitely works for some ppl. I was just unlucky.

 

Well, I am not sure if I am becoming reliant on it or not.  I take it to stabilise myself to so I can (hopefully) sleep, work, and minimize flashbacks, d/p, d/r, paranoia, etc.  When I am in a window when I am at home, I know that I am in a window and do not take it unless necessary.  I am doing what I can to keep from becoming totally disabled -- and at this point in time, I am very close to that.  It really does a number on my digestive tract and sinuses, though.  The side effects are not pleasant, but at this point in time, the benefits outweigh the nasty side effects.

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Reinstating can be really fatal and, as another buddy said, can lead to kindling and an even worse wd the next time. 14 months actually isn't that long in this game, unfortunately.

It's heartbreaking to see others heal so much faster than ourselves and that fact can easily lead to thoughts like something else is wrong with us. Most of the times it isn't though and it's all still from the drugs. I am 52 months off and not healed and the protracted board is full of people being of for much longer than you are and still ill (not saying this to scare you but to show you that still being in this with your timeframe off is not at all unnormal). Your turning point can be right around the corner! Stay strong and try to not get discouraged by others that are having an easier or shorter time with this wd.

 

What kind of w/d do you still suffer from? Do you function at all?

This is scary but I know that 16 months isn't a llng time when healing from benzo use.

 

I am not functional at all and still got many mental symptoms. I was heavily polydrugged and never did a propper taper, so that might be the reason.

Please give yourself more time. You will be fine!!!

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