Oldest member in BB???

[[po...]]

Greetings from USA (central Florida) to all who read this,

 

I am relatively new to BB so if I don't use proper language or abbreviations, please excuse.

 

BACKGROUND INFO

I just turned 68 years and I am a retired math and science teacher for at-risk students in Orlando.

I am a life long major depressive with general anxiety disorder. I have been on 35 different psych meds for the past 40 years, Paxil seems to work the best. I have seen numerous pdocs, therapists, gone to groups (both in and out of hospital setting): in Florida, Oregon, Texas and now back to Florida.

 

My life: no alcohol, no smokes, no illegal drugs, no addiction problems, fitness nut, lacto vegetarian.

 

Extremely physically healthy (except for sleep apnea and slight osteoporosis in parts of my spine)

 

I was prescribed K to "get through" my last year of teaching and unknown to me at the time, I continued to take the drug, thinking it was best (because I trusted the pdoc who NEVER informed me of w/d issues later down the line) <----- sound familiar?

 

I never hit what BB forums call 'tolerance level' while taking K. Especially the last 3 years, often I wouldn't use all 3 mg in a day.  I voluntarily chose to go thru withdrawal after my cardiologist warned me about C/T the drug.

 

Because I didn't have a 'competent' pdoc at the time of my decision, my primary care dr. found one that took my Medicare insurance. He is nothing but a script writer and I am not going to go through all the roadblocks he has given me. Suffice to say, he now lets me taper as slowly as I want, but will not give me a script for anything less than 0.5 mg. So I cut into quarters.

 

BTW: today is marks the beginning of my 12th week of W/D.

 

I have had no "windows" in these 11 weeks, just constant, continuing waves.  I won't list my sxs because there are so many.

 

I am curious to know if there is anyone else out there in my age range who would like to share stories of trying to recover at this advanced age.  My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug. Obviously, that statement DID NOT make me feel any better.

 

I am determined to get this toxin out of my body before I die. And yes, I was suicidal the first month due to pdoc w/d and tapering of 3 psych meds way too quickly and all at once. Obviously, I trusted the man (he was a doctor, supposed to know about this stuff, right?? WRONG) and before I found BB and did some research on my own.  Now the sxs cause me to have a morbid fear of dying, I hurt so badly.

 

I have met some really, really supportive and kind people on BB and I know there are a lot of you that have it a LOT more worse than I do: I am retired, have no children to take care of, no social life now to worry about. A lot of BB people have physical illnesses to cope with also. I just have to cope with my underlying depression and anxiety, now 10 times worse during w/d.

 

I would appreciate ANY feedback, comments, advice and suggestions from any age group. I really need all the support and advice I can gather. I am sure not getting any of that from my pdoc.

 

Thanks to all who read this and special thanks to anyone who responds or PM me. I promise to reply.

 

Smiles and sunshine, Pooh 

 

 

[[sw...]]

(My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug.)

 

First - that is bull!!  Many people recover that were on larger doses than you - it takes time but you can recover.

 

I didn't have any windows for a long time - I think my first window (well semi window..lol) was after 3 months.  Have had a few good ones lately - so it takes time. 

 

Sorry you are feeling so bad - but be sure to know it will get better one day.  I am 56 and this has not been easy at all.  But I know this too shall pass.  I'm feeling more confident everyday of this as I get more windows...which I never thought I would see..

 

I know that feeling of thinking you will die from the pain.  Boy do I know that one!!!!  But it does get better.

 

You will get better - just hang tough and if you are one that can't cut too fast, just stay at a dose till you feel better before proceeding.

 

 

[[bu...]]

My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug

 

1)  Absolutely wrong.  You should be able to wean off of benzos with zero residual sxs, and since they are apparently not currently causing sxs, there are no sxs you need to recover from.

 

2)  I started my successful taper a age 71.

 

3)  If your doc will simply continue to write scrips for your med, that's all the "support" you need from you doc.

 

4)  .5mg tablets will work fine.  There are several methods of reducing them to smaller measureable quantities, but probably the easiest method with a high potency, highly concentrated med like K is simply liquify it with a little vodka or propylene glycol, then dilute it with water.  You can then then tiny reductions/measurements with an oral syringe.

[[oh...]]

Wow!  Thanks for sharing your story.  I am 52, and am beginning taper from 15+ years on 3mg Ativan, and will then do Seroquel in year or two.  Am really scared for withdrawals.  Am taking 4 doses daily, but having hard time getting larger sleeping dose down to equal other doses. 

I, too have been told some sxs will never go away and that my brain in permanently damaged.  Well, we'll see when I get clean.  At least it will be my brain and not Big Pharma.  I hear a story like yours, and my heart totally goes out to you.  You can do this!

! Just take it a day at a time, and keep coming to places like this.  I am only on my second day as a member, but it is already giving me strength to accept the fight ahead and one day get my life back.

[[Ph...]]

Great posts from the members above. Nothing much more to add. I concur that 0.5mg is small enough, and that when it gets to a certain point, you can do a liquid taper. Fortunately your doc is continuing to write scripts for you. Sorry you are having to go through this mess caused by doctors you trusted. It is good that you never reached 'tolerance WD' while on the kpins. It looks like you are doing a reasonably paced taper, but if you are saying that you are only experiencing waves, maybe it might be a good time to stop and hold for a bit longer until you feel a little more stable. Everyone wants to get this junk out of their system. That is a understandable mindset, but there is no rush and our bodies generally respond better if we go more slowly and allow it time to heal.

[[2t...]]

If you look at the success threads you will find a story by a woman from I think England who was on for 50 years and is now off and fully recovered.

Sorry I can't remember her screen name but others may and chime in with it.

 

2trusting

[[Ge...]]

Hey Pooh, Monitor your vitamin and hormone levels carefully because its easy for withdrawl to throw them off.. fyi  (I learned the hard way).

[[An...]]

I am on a tablet so excuse the typos. I just had to respond to this post because these doctors really make me angry. My stupid doctor here told me I was at baseline anxiety 30 days after I stopped taking Librium. I decided to reinstate and taper slowly but my biggest fear is all of this is permanent. Or at least it WAS my biggest fear. I took Librium for 25 years and I am here to tell you that this will go away and we WILL get better. That is just bull hockey. I know because I am having a really good month with less symptoms now that I am closer to getting off this devil of a drug. I have had 6 days this month with NO symptoms starting until after 6:00. It is like a miracle and I had NO windows in the beginning for 3 months. NONE. NOT one. I thought maybe I was damaged for good but that is not true. You know, there is a saying that goes something like this: What you practice the most becomes what you are the most. So, pretend you are well and it will happen. Feed the right wolf as they say. I dont know f you heard the wolf story. We all have  a scared bad wolf and a positive good wolf inside us, feed the right one. =) 

[[...]]

My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug

 

1)  Absolutely wrong.  You should be able to wean off of benzos with zero residual sxs, and since they are apparently not currently causing sxs, there are no sxs you need to recover from.

 

2)  I started my successful taper a age 71.

 

3)  If your doc will simply continue to write scrips for your med, that's all the "support" you need from you doc.

 

4)  .5mg tablets will work fine.  There are several methods of reducing them to smaller measureable quantities, but probably the easiest method with a high potency, highly concentrated med like K is simply liquify it with a little vodka or propylene glycol, then dilute it with water.  You can then then tiny reductions/measurements with an oral syringe.

 

If using the vodka to liquify, then is alright to use water to titrate? Don't mean to sound stupid, but when I tapered years ago, there was no milk mentioned on the forums. It would be great to be able to just use the water as mile disagrees with me.

Thanks for the encouragement. If you can do this in your 70's, there is no doubt in my mind that it can be done in my 60's.

[[...]]

Greetings from USA (central Florida) to all who read this,

 

I am relatively new to BB so if I don't use proper language or abbreviations, please excuse.

 

BACKGROUND INFO

I just turned 68 years and I am a retired math and science teacher for at-risk students in Orlando.

I am a life long major depressive with general anxiety disorder. I have been on 35 different psych meds for the past 40 years, Paxil seems to work the best. I have seen numerous pdocs, therapists, gone to groups (both in and out of hospital setting): in Florida, Oregon, Texas and now back to Florida.

 

My life: no alcohol, no smokes, no illegal drugs, no addiction problems, fitness nut, lacto vegetarian.

 

Extremely physically healthy (except for sleep apnea and slight osteoporosis in parts of my spine)

 

I was prescribed K to "get through" my last year of teaching and unknown to me at the time, I continued to take the drug, thinking it was best (because I trusted the pdoc who NEVER informed me of w/d issues later down the line) <----- sound familiar?

 

I never hit what BB forums call 'tolerance level' while taking K. Especially the last 3 years, often I wouldn't use all 3 mg in a day.  I voluntarily chose to go thru withdrawal after my cardiologist warned me about C/T the drug.

 

Because I didn't have a 'competent' pdoc at the time of my decision, my primary care dr. found one that took my Medicare insurance. He is nothing but a script writer and I am not going to go through all the roadblocks he has given me. Suffice to say, he now lets me taper as slowly as I want, but will not give me a script for anything less than 0.5 mg. So I cut into quarters.

 

BTW: today is marks the beginning of my 12th week of W/D.

 

I have had no "windows" in these 11 weeks, just constant, continuing waves.  I won't list my sxs because there are so many.

 

I am curious to know if there is anyone else out there in my age range who would like to share stories of trying to recover at this advanced age.  My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug. Obviously, that statement DID NOT make me feel any better.

 

I am determined to get this toxin out of my body before I die. And yes, I was suicidal the first month due to pdoc w/d and tapering of 3 psych meds way too quickly and all at once. Obviously, I trusted the man (he was a doctor, supposed to know about this stuff, right?? WRONG) and before I found BB and did some research on my own.  Now the sxs cause me to have a morbid fear of dying, I hurt so badly.

 

I have met some really, really supportive and kind people on BB and I know there are a lot of you that have it a LOT more worse than I do: I am retired, have no children to take care of, no social life now to worry about. A lot of BB people have physical illnesses to cope with also. I just have to cope with my underlying depression and anxiety, now 10 times worse during w/d.

 

I would appreciate ANY feedback, comments, advice and suggestions from any age group. I really need all the support and advice I can gather. I am sure not getting any of that from my pdoc.

 

Thanks to all who read this and special thanks to anyone who responds or PM me. I promise to reply.

 

Smiles and sunshine, Pooh 

 

You will do just fine. Low and slow.

I have been told and heard that the longer you are on Klonopin the worse it is to come off. I refuse to believe that. I have been on it 20 years minus the 4 months C/T.

I think if it is done low and slow, meaning having a lot of patience, it will be successful.

I am 63 going on 64 and am determined more than ever to get off. It may take quite a few years, but that is fine. Just as long as it done safely and with minimal to no symptoms.

I am not sure if my C/T will affect the taper, but again, making small adjustments as not to shock the brain is key.

Just know that you are not alone!

 

 

[[bu...]]

 

If using the vodka to liquify, then is alright to use water to titrate? Don't mean to sound stupid, but when I tapered years ago, there was no milk mentioned on the forums. It would be great to be able to just use the water as mile disagrees with me.

Thanks for the encouragement. If you can do this in your 70's, there is no doubt in my mind that it can be done in my 60's.

 

The general procedure is to dissolve the tablet in a small amount of a solvent (vodka or PG), then dilute with water to a workable ratio.  In most case 1mg benzo:2ml solvent:8ml water works fine.  That gives a finished solution where the ratio is .1mg per ml...very easy to do calculations and conversion by just moving the decimal.  You will probably want to make larger batches, just follow the same ratios.

 

You can use milk, but many folks (like me, and I guess you) have issues with milk.  Milk is also more perishable, and the milk solution limits your procedural options.

[[...]]

 

If using the vodka to liquify, then is alright to use water to titrate? Don't mean to sound stupid, but when I tapered years ago, there was no milk mentioned on the forums. It would be great to be able to just use the water as mile disagrees with me.

Thanks for the encouragement. If you can do this in your 70's, there is no doubt in my mind that it can be done in my 60's.

 

The general procedure is to dissolve the tablet in a small amount of a solvent (vodka or PG), then dilute with water to a workable ratio.  In most case 1mg benzo:2ml solvent:8ml water works fine.  That gives a finished solution where the ratio is .1mg per ml...very easy to do calculations and conversion by just moving the decimal.  You will probably want to make larger batches, just follow the same ratios.

 

You can use milk, but many folks (like me, and I guess you) have issues with milk.  Milk is also more perishable, and the milk solution limits your procedural options.

 

Thanks. Very much appreciated.

[[Sh...]]

Hi Pooh49,

 

68 years old is not "advanced age!". There are many of us in your age group here on the forum. I think there are a handful on the 80+ age range too. Now, if the person were 90+, that might qualify as advanced age. Many of us have gone through horrendous withdrawals and came out on the other side. Many of us came off benzos with less problems than those much younger. It's such an individual thing you can't really divvy everyone up by age group and predict that the younger ones will have an easier time.  The only more challenging thing is that people 50+ have probably been on benzo longer and thus might have more problems coming off than those who have a shorter history, but it can't necessarily be blamed on their age.  I'm not minimizing your struggles at all and know you are suffering. The fact that you had already been living a clean and healthy lifestyle is in your favor. Press on and you will get through this and hopefully have many healthier years ahead. I hope that for all of us no matter the age.

 

She

[[po...]]

(My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug.)

 

First - that is bull!!  Many people recover that were on larger doses than you - it takes time but you can recover.

 

I didn't have any windows for a long time - I think my first window (well semi window..lol) was after 3 months.  Have had a few good ones lately - so it takes time. 

 

Sorry you are feeling so bad - but be sure to know it will get better one day.  I am 56 and this has not been easy at all.  But I know this too shall pass.  I'm feeling more confident everyday of this as I get more windows...which I never thought I would see..

 

I know that feeling of thinking you will die from the pain.  Boy do I know that one!!!!  But it does get better.

 

You will get better - just hang tough and if you are one that can't cut too fast, just stay at a dose till you feel better before proceeding.

 

Thanks, Sweetpea for response and comfort. I should know better than to believe anything that my Pdoc tells me.  How did you get your doses so, so low???

 

I can only dry cut to 0.125 mg

 

PM me for details if you don't mind,

 

thanks, Pooh

[[po...]]

My pdoc told me last visit that some of my sxs would NEVER go away due to my age and length of time on drug

 

1)  Absolutely wrong.  You should be able to wean off of benzos with zero residual sxs, and since they are apparently not currently causing sxs, there are no sxs you need to recover from.

 

2)  I started my successful taper a age 71.

 

3)  If your doc will simply continue to write scrips for your med, that's all the "support" you need from you doc.

 

4)  .5mg tablets will work fine.  There are several methods of reducing them to smaller measureable quantities, but probably the easiest method with a high potency, highly concentrated med like K is simply liquify it with a little vodka or propylene glycol, then dilute it with water.  You can then then tiny reductions/measurements with an oral syringe.

 

Oh, Builder, you give me hope with your post . . . thank you, thank you.

 

I guess I need to read more about micro liquid tapering as I get to the end of my K w/d

 

I thought withdrawal symptoms were sxs?? I thought waves were the w/d symptoms?  I have so many symptoms, I have been to multiple medical specialists to check out my physical health.  The symptoms have NOT let up since I began this process in July 2017

 

Your reply gives me encouragement which I really, really need today. Rough night, rough morning . . .

 

PM me if you want to give me more advice/encouragement or stay in contact. I am so lonely going through this process. I need all the BB friends I can.

 

thanks again for the reply and advice, Pooh

[[po...]]

Hey Pooh, Monitor your vitamin and hormone levels carefully because its easy for withdrawl to throw them off.. fyi  (I learned the hard way).

 

Thanks for advice: I see my PCP regularly every 3 weeks for physical check up on my w/d physical symptoms. She is great. I have blood work done next month and I will ask her about including hormone levels.

 

Appreciate the feedback, Pooh 

[[Es...]]

I feel as though I were 100 yrs old.

[[me...]]

We actually have many members in their 60's.  It's not surprising, since "boomers" are still a large part of the population.  I'm 67, and most of the admin team is also in their mid-60's.

 

[[Es...]]

I guess it’s the state of mind. Not the year written in one’s ID card. Since I went back on benzos in May 2014 after 11 years benzo-free, I aged in an incredible way. Mentally. Yeah, they just take away the drive, joy, motivation. When I got rid of them in 2003, I felt like a newborn baby. Life was beautiful.

[Guest [Le...]]

Hi Pooh,

 

I’m also one of the many members here who are in our 60s.

 

After an absolutely horrific experience with tolerance withdrawal from Ativan, followed by a rapid taper/cold turkey, I’m well on the way to what I expect will be complete recovery.

 

Given my age and other circumstances, I did not expect good results, but here I am, in some ways better than ever. The more I read of others’ experiences on BB, the more convinced I am that if age is a factor at all, some of use older folks have a distinct advantage.

 

Based on your posts, I have a feeling you’re already headed for a positive outcome.

Leslie 

 

 

[[ni...]]

pooh49 I just turned 72. Not sure how that happened, but at least I am still among the living.  I was put on clonazepam, ambien and wellbutrin in the late  1990s after I went for counseling and then she sent me to a psychiatrist, who put me on those three drugs. I was too naive to ask details about the meds.  After approx 9 months, I tapered off of wellburtrin, as I had never felt depressed. A few years later, I tried to get off of both ambien and clonazepam, but failed. Over the years I slept less and less and became so tired of being drugged but not sleeping much. A few years ago,  when I went to the family doctor for help getting off of the drugs, he  sent me to a sleep specialist, who announced when he walked into the exam room, if I was there for more drugs, I would not get them. Huh?? I was there to get off of them, not get more. He suggested melatonin, yellow glasses for electronic viewing and that was it. He did send me home with a pulse ox, and determined I probably didn't have sleep apnea. I decided I was on my own and started a rapid taper in February of 2017. I went from 1.5 mgs of clonazepam to .25 and had crashed and burned with horrible sx and insomnia. I went back up to .5 mgs and then found BB.org. Finally, people who understood and could support me! I've not been back to the PCP. The only other medication I am currently on is a low dose of HRT.  I was able to get off of ambien almost 3 years ago without any trouble and when I told my PCP, he asked why I got off of that drug!!  So, yes, there are older people on here in the same boat as you! I see no reason why I won't fully recover when I am healed. A lot of my symptoms have gone away, already. I walk 30-40 mins daily, try to eat healthy and rarely drink wine or any other alcohol, since my taper started in February. We can and will make it through this!

[[pi...]]

Hello Pooh,

 

I'm raising my hand as someone who is also  in her 60's. Like Leslie I suffered with tolerance withdrawal that led me to many doctors and many medical tests, some of them invasive.  A little voice inside me said it was the drug and I searched for a doctor who would assist me with a taper.  She also validated that what I was indeed feeling was the effects of the drug and it's withdrawal. 

 

I am soon to be 67 and life is good.  I am a stronger person, more proactive about my health and wellbeing and most importantly, I appreciate every day. 

 

I recovered completely, although it took longer then I wished.  It's a process that was the most challenging thing I've ever done but also the most important thing I've done for my future health and happiness.

 

You'll get there too, day by day closer to recovery.

 

pianogirl