Long term small dosage Ativan user

[[Ca...]]

I've had anxiety all of my life however it took a turn for the worst when my doctor put me on Paxil at the age of 25. I was only on the Paxil for a week, but it ruined me. After that I was prescribed .25 mg of Ativan as needed and Zoloft - 50mg a day. My life was at 50% for 10 years and then the Zoloft stopped working. My aunt died on my mom's birthday in late 2016 and my mom almost died - hospital w a blood count of 4.9 in January of 2017. My life fell apart. The doctors wanted to up my Ativan dosage to 3 mg a day, but I never got there. I did get to .5mg twice a day. Then my mom's friend suggested I go to see her psychologist. The psychologist insisted I get off of the Ativan - she continuously told me about how terrible it was - but she never told me to taper. I stopped taking Ativan in the begging of July and two weeks later I was bed ridden and convinced I was on deAth's doorstep. 3 trips to the ER for elevated heart rate, low low blood pressure, head pressure, etc. and 13 doctors visits later: cardiologist, hematologist, herbologist, acupuncturist, gp, etc. No one ever mentioned I could be in wd- but everyone said to never take the Ativan. My GP Insited that everything was psychological and convinced me to reinstate the Zoloft - huge mistake - horrific 4 days in July. After a month of paranoia - Convinved I had every deadly disease in the world, I googled benzo withdrawal - wow - hit the nail on the head. I told my mom, who had to start taking care of me because I was non functional, she said no way. She still doesn't believe it. I reinstated .25 of Ativan and half of my symptoms lifted. Then I switched to 2mg if Valium. I felt so awful, I didn't want to ever wake up. I told this repetitively to my mom and I became aggressive. My mom took me to the hospital for help and I was shipped to a psych ward - horrific. Ativan was reinstated at the psych hospital. When I got back home I just wanted off everything and quit. My symptoms are pretty bad but not as bad as they were in July - wow. I have too much going on in my life and too much responsibility at the moment...I'm also going through a ct of 2mg Valium and or .25 Ativan.

 

edit: For the sake of our membership, all references to self-harm and/or harming others have been removed from this thread.

Please click on this link if you are thinking about suicide, self-harm, or harming others: Self-Harm/Ideation (Revised)

[[pi...]]

Hello Caligrl,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies!  I'm sorry for all you've gone through due to the abrupt discontinuation of Ativan. Actually, the same thing happened to me. I was told to stop taking Ativan for a medical test and that due to the low dose I should be fine. I also became totally nonfunctional and underwent a lot of medical tests.  No one ever recognized that the entire problem was due to a cold turkey of Ativan.

 

I see you've stopped cold turkey again, this time of valium.  A slow taper is recommended to help minimize withdrawal symptoms but since you've stopped if it were me I would just try to live with the symptoms and know that with time they will ease up.  I'm glad you don't feel as bad as you did in July.

 

I'll give you a link to the Cold Turkey, Detox, Rapid Withdrawal Board where you can communicate with others in the same situation as yourself.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual, while it discusses tapering in detail, it also gives a lot of good information about the withdrawal process in general. The manual was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field.

 

We'll be here to support and encourage you as you recover from the effects of these strong drugs.  It can take a while for the central nervous system to return to balance, but with time it will. Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

[[Rx...]]

So sorry to read of your very sad story.  My heart goes out to you. 

[[Ca...]]

How's your withdrawal going?

[[Rx...]]

My huge symptoms list has dwindled, but I'm still struggling greatly with what I currently have.

[[Ca...]]

Ditto. Although I'm fearful of a flare up. I don't know whether to reinstate and taper or continue

W the ct. Just sucks. Almost non functional over here. Are you going to continue w the ct?

[[Rx...]]

I made an uninformed cold turkey attempt then had to be detoxed twice (long complex story) with the first detox cut short to 3 days as my blood pressure went too low.  I could not find a taper in time.  My current doctor at the time prescribing the benzos is a bad guy (another long story).  I'm almost non-functional too.  I will not reinstate, however.  No more for me!

[[Ca...]]

I have the low blood pressure thing. While I was trying to figure what on earth happened to me a doctor suggested I had POTS...electrolyte water sometimes helped. I still have the low blood pressure problem...hence the head and chest pressure. Just awful. But I th No it's WD more so than Pots. Guess what they prescribe for POTS - yes, benzos.

[[Rx...]]

So sorry to read of your low blood pressure problem.