Hi Buddies

[[im...]]

I have been coming here for help for awhile, and now I feel the need to formally enter the community. My story is probably similar to many here. I am a male in my 50's and a lifelong anxiety sufferer. When I say lifelong, I mean exactly that. I have anxiety memories stretching back to my early childhood. Health anxiety is a big part of my suffering.

 

I was prescribed Xanax by my GP in 2012. Initially, it seemed like a miracle drug. I remember thinking, "Oh my God, this is how it feels to be normal." I naively thought that maybe my brain was chemically deficient, and Xanax was restoring it to the state it should have been all these years. I prided myself in never abusing Xanax. My script has always been "1-2 tablets up to twice daily." My pills are 0.25 mg. Rarely have I ever taken 4 pills in a day. I did find early on that I needed 2 pills in the morning when my anxiety was very high in order to feel "normal." I am a teacher, and those two pills would get me through the morning and early afternoon. Sometimes I would take another pill later in the afternoon or in the evening.

 

After a few months and a renewed prescription, my anxiety was better and I was able to taper and get off Xanax. However, my anxiety returned and I looked to Xanax again. It has now been 5 years, and I have been yo-yo'ing up and down with my use all along. I have been a more consistent user the past couple of years - rarely going more than a few days without needing a pill or two.  When my anxiety would be high, I would take a pill or two every day. As soon as I felt some relief, I would skip doses. However, after a few days my anxiety would escalate and I would be back on.

 

Only recently, through this site and others (Ashton and w-bad.org, e.g.), have I realized that I have been experiencing inter-dose withdrawals, and that many of my symptoms are likely due to Xanax. So Xanax has recently shifted from a tool that I looked to for help and relief, to the actual culprit. This has been a revelation. The more I read and research, the more convinced I become in the damaging effects that Xanax has had on my life.

 

Recently I have made a couple of cold turkey attempts, reasoning naively that, "I'm on a low dose, so I should be able to do this." Yes a relatively low dose, but it's been 5 years of dependency. The cold turkeys did not go well: insomnia, terrible rebound anxiety, jittery, sweats, irritability, brain fog, and stomach issues. In addition, I have developed somewhat chronic paresthesia in various parts of my body and some joint pain.

 

I have been tapering for a few weeks without a definite plan, just sort of playing it by ear. I was doing 1/2 tablet (1/8 mg) twice daily. Then 1/2 tablet only at night. Currently I am doing 1/4 tablet at night. I know these are really low doses in terms of actual milligrams, but it has been a real struggle. Up until this taper I was using 1 tablet (1/4 mg) per day on average. I am down to the  1/4 tab mentioned above, but this has all occurred in about 6 weeks. Percentage wise, this is probably too rapid. I am experiencing lots of waves and some windows.

 

There is more to say, but I feel the need to post this and join this community formally. I am grateful to this site. It has given me lots of comfort and hope.

[Guest [ba...]]

Hello!

 

Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad that you found us.  I understand your desire to get off Xanax.  I'm sure you've figured out that it simply suppresses emotions.  It doesn't balance brain chemistry.  I had a similar revelation about klonopin, and like your experience with Xanax, klonopin was wonder - until it wasn't.

 

These drugs are best withdrawn from using a slow taper.  Generally, we suggest a rate of no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  Many people taper slower than that.  We strongly suggest listening to your body and tapering at a rate that doesn't cause unnecessary withdrawal symptoms.

 

If you haven’t already done so, please take a thorough look at the Ashton Manual.  It is an authoritative guide to benzodiazepine tapering and includes sections on what to expect during withdrawal and recommended tapering rates.  The manual can be found at this link:  http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual

 

Here's also a direct link to the Withdrawal Support group:  Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

 

Again, welcome!

[[Ho...]]

Welcome and congratulations making a decision to rid yourself of this med.

 

I am sure someone here can help you with a taper but most importantly is to listen to your body..only you can tell yourself how long to hold and what is too much or too little.

 

Blessings