Help! Have i turned crazy!?

[[Pi...]]

So before I started tapering I loved kids and enjoyed being around them. But now I find myself not even wanting to talk about them or be around them! If my boyfriend's kids even get brought up I get so angry. I don't understand what happened to me! I'm not sure if it's the fact that I can't stand his ex-wife so I don't like his kids or if this is a withdrawal thing?

[[Kr...]]

I think you need to look at everything that comes up now through the lens of withdrawal, meaning if it is causing you to question parts of yourself that were solid prior to this, withdrawal is probably the culprit.  Once you are through this, you can analyze your feelings concerning children.  I used to teach children and found myself becoming more and more annoyed with them as I was experiencing tolerance withdrawal.  I was also in a very difficult situation with my work, but I loved working with children with every ounce of my being prior to taking anti-anxiety meds.  I 100% believe the feelings were a result of the medication.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  Maybe just acknowledge that you have a hard time being around your boyfriend's kids right now and try to see the situation as temporary.

[[Ju...]]

When one is in emotional turmoil from withdrawal, it is hard to think about anybody else, and of course that includes kids.  It is not being selfish; it is that we don't have enough emotional resilience to consider others the way that we did before withdrawal hit us in the face.

 

You will love kids normally again when you get over withdrawal.  I'll bet on it.

[[Pi...]]

Thank y'all sooo much!

[[Fi...]]

Hi there, having been through K hell I can tell you it's definitely withdrawal. You will be going through all kinds of things before and after you jump. Just know that any thoughts which make you think "that's it! I've lost my mind!" to any physical symptoms are all attributed to your brain healing. So no it's definitely not you, it's our poor brains on the mend which is a good thing.

Also there is a post at the top of this blog by Parker entitled "what is happening to your brain." If you haven't had a read, check it out, it has really helped a lot of us to understand this madness and not blame ourselves.

Wishing you the best of luck 

[[Sh...]]

Don't be so hard on yourself.  I promise you that many people feel like this about children and they're not in withdrawal.  Its just not PC to voice it.  Children are emotional, physical and mental energy sucking entities that require time, attention and focus from us which can be difficult even when we are otherwise healthy.  In withdrawal, that is nigh to impossible.  Give yourself a break, stay as far away from them as possible under the circumstances, and reevaluate the whole issue when you are farther down the healing road.

 

She

[[Pi...]]

Thank y'all. He has 2 kids from his ex psycho and I have 2 kids of my own. And I feel sooo disconnected.

[[Pi...]]

And maybe it's because I can't stand his psycho ex so I can't stand his kids? I feel a lot of hate when the kids are brought up or when they are around me. It's so hard to tell if this is because of my true feelings or if it's from withdrawal. It's driving me insane because I don't want to marry this guy if this is my true feelings but I also don't want to wait YEARS until I heal to marry him to see which one it is because if it's my true feelings then I will be trapped in marriage with them being miserable.