pls help?!!why cant i do this change?

[[kr...]]

Wonder if anyone has had an experience like this. I wake and lay there hopelessly scared of my life. Hoping i get some reassurance here...time to go to FL for winter and clock is ticking down, renters are wanting to sign leases, im not packed, Im afraid of change, I m worried sick. I havent worked in 4 yrs and need job there

 

my bf is there working for winter and his place is where the klon tolerance was realized...will it spur a meltdown?

ALso wonder and worry why I cant just say "this is what i have to do for now" and make best of it...I mean its sunny FL. half hr to beach. staying in big camper on bf property. scared of fighting w him everyday.

 

(my life at 51 has no direction, joy etc is it my home, my lack of career, my bf, my organic brain chemistry, menopause?)

Im getting way sidetracked w this forum, my symptoms, wondering if i should somehow back out and stay in MI w no job lined up and the grey days just cause Im afraid

WHAT IS THIS? part of wd at 19 mo?? ??

I only feel some confidence and able to relax and eat in evening after exercise if im not too tired. Scared the day comes I go and I fall apart..why am i thinking this way???

will i fall apart going or empower myself

should i see dr before i go.. should i share this w

[[Da...]]

Hi Kris.  I'm sorry you're experiencing this amount of anxiety.  Some of this might be from w/d symptoms, but there are ways you can overcome it. 

 

There are many resources that have been a huge help to me for my anxiety problems.  I think the following things will be very helpful, and I hope you are able to give them some consideration:

 

- The book Hope and Help for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes.  Some of her terminology may seem dated, but she was WAY ahead of her time.  She explains really well what causes anxiety and how you can rid yourself of it.  This is especially helpful if you have physical symptoms that come along with your anxiety (and I find it helps with my w/d symptoms as well).  She also has some audio recordings.  These can all be found on Amazon.  You've mentioned indecision and loss of confidence, and she explains that this is a normal occurrence with anxiety. She explains how you can reverse this process and heal. 

 

- There are numerous podcasts for anxiety that I have found helpful for any level of anxiety.  You may want to try a few on this website:  https://www.bustle.com/articles/147219-6-podcasts-to-listen-to-if-youre-feeling-anxious  .  The Anxiety Slayer podcast actually has a recent episode on life altering transistions.

 

Going back to where you realized klonopin was causing you so many problems has no biological reason to make things worse.  However, the belief that it will affect you can have some power over your experience.  Your body and mind have the resources to completely overcome all of this.  You may not believe it at this moment if you're in an anxious state, but you can totally get better.  While time is a great healer for withdrawal, it will be extremely helpful if you take an active role in it.  In this way you aren't under the control of what you may perceive as some ambiguous force, you are the one in control, and the withdrawal and anxiety are just there for the ride for the time being.  But they will both go away.

 

I hope this helps, and I really recommend you look into these resources.  I think it could be really helpful.

[[kr...]]

thanks danimal i have that book and read most of it. Ill check out the podcast. waking to my own thoughts is awful, so maybe ill play that.

anyone else have experience in this area?

[[...]]

Kris, it's WD and it's not your fault. It's not normal anxiety. Our brains are not working properly causing organic fear.  We cannot deal with stress, change, anything. My fear has been ramped up to unbelievable levels since a massive change in my life. I used to be the most independent person ever, now I need constant reassurance.

[[kr...]]

marj ..yes! i need reassurance hand holding for stupidest things. if i push through this and make it to fl could i possibly feel like i can do more? what happened in your life?

finding this all hard to believe cause i was doing mostly better and now at 19 mo off!

 

weird also is waking in total fear, sick stomach, exhaustion and getting sucked in to analyzing it no matter how hard i try to do other things

Also just to pack or organize, my brain says NO and i get panicked

Also, when i can make it in gym, i start imagining great things and leave relaxed and more confident only to wake in am to groundhog day thinking "ok my subcon is saying you dont belong in FL or is it irrational wd fear?"

(i feel like im healed except when i have to face things, and fear that pushing into what i could try to do, will only create more fear...)

 

my bf says i talk in circles

what do you think? anyone else??

 

Im thinking of calling the shrink that gave me remeron couple yrs ago i still take but maybe i need it differently,, i really need help. ive always had some anxiety but i was quite capable in some areas. im obsessing w this so bad lately I cant even keep up w my dishes let alone renting out house and packing to leave, and just hoping for the best down there in fl

[[Da...]]

Sorry Kris.  I didn't mean to imply your anxiety wasn't w/d related.  I just thought those resources could help.  The Anxiety Slayer podcast has a little more of an eastern-based approach that i thought might be helpful since they advocate a lot of self-care things (epsom salt baths, oil massage, Ayurveda-based things) that have been somewhat helpful for me in w/d.

[[kr...]]

Don't be sorry..i always question it

[[kr...]]

PLEASE i need to hear from someone about this! wonder if i am having conclusions based on irrational fear or a gut instinct. waking in fear and obsessing

Is anyone terrified of something new but in doing it you find youre ok?? im so scared im gonna meltdown and not recover when i get to FL.

 

Im not getting stuff done, im waking early scared and sick to my stomach. doing "what if" scenarios about FL and bout staying here in MI...although its kinda too late to stay...dont have a job and renters signed and are moving in MON while i will be in the spare room till i go. i havent found a renter for cabin, i havent packed or done my to do list. I dont even feel i can go into the spare room cause its "something different"...wth???

Is it all just the process of getting ready thats tripping me up??

btw, im familiar w the area there from 3 yrs ago...im anticipating feeling like a fish outta water.. is there a self talk way outta these thoughts possible??

I feel fine at other times esp evening if i workout, i have visions of great things, then as i get closer to move day im getting sicker. shouldnt i be able to look at the positives of going there for winter?!

 

please I really need some tools or reassurance here today

Im gonna end up in FL i think, but feel im just spinning my wheels there, afraid to get job or study something and no friends tthere  and my bf relationship issues,...

I think something happened in my brain just before the klonopin (could it be not wd related?)

 

Any of you have to move like this? i need some good stories or something ..some logic..something..