Hello + sleep question

[[Ju...]]

Hello everyone. I apologize in advance if what I write is difficult to read/ follow. I have been awake for several days now and my ability to write in an eloquent manner is almost non existent. This is my first time posting despite being a member for quite a while. I would like to give a brief description of my history with benzodiazepines and would like to ask for some advice if possible. I am currently 21 years of age. I struggled with mild insomnia in high school (probably a result of the various antidepressants my doctor had me on at the time), for which my mother convinced me to see my primary care doctor. I was prescribed clonazepam by this doctor during my sophomore year of high school. The drug was effective at putting me to sleep so I continued to take it per the advice of my doctor (1mg/ night...every night) completely unaware of the dangers of this drug. Gradually, I developed many negative effects from taking the drug. Severe anhedonia, social anxiety, rebound insomnia, amnesia, cognitive decline (gradually becoming more and more stupid), etc. It destroyed my social life and any prospect I had of pursuing a career after high school. After educating myself about the drugs online and determining for sure that they were the cause of my problems (I had already expressed concern to my doctor that the klonopin was causing these issues but he repeatedly ignored me) and determining that my life would never improve as long as I was taking them, I decided to get off of them. I started tapering from a measly dose of 1.5mg / night under the supervision of a sleep specialist in January of 2016. Over the course of seven months, I had managed to bring the dose down to .25 mg, but I was not making any more progress. I cut the last .25mg out completely in July of last year. My life has been a complete nightmare ever since. I was under the impression that my life would begin to improve once I had completely stopped taking the drugs but that has not been the case. At this time I am doubtful that I will ever be well again.

 

Since July of last year, I have only been sleeping for a handful of hours per week (this is literally my only withdrawal symptom...all other symptoms are clearly the effects of not sleeping). I don't sleep at all for three to four days at a time and when I do sleep it is only for an hour, maybe two. Despite having been off of the drug for over a year I would say that my sleep hasn't improved at all. My life is still completely on hold and I question every day whether or not this is ever going to end. I am completely alone and unable to make friends as I cannot be myself. I have read on other peoples post that the ashton manual suggests that all problems with insomnia should resolve within a year but this has not been the case for me and that has left me extremely worried. If I were not a Christian or fairly strong willed I think I would have committed suicide a long time ago, but I am losing faith that I will ever be well again. My life is passing me by, I am completely alone, and my future looks bleak. Please, if anyone has any suggestions for getting some sleep or if anyone can provide some reassurance or consolation that things will/ must improve eventually I would greatly appreciate it. I have taken many,many supplements in hopes that they will provide some relief but nothing has worked. I have also been in and out of the gym for almost a year now but regularly quit due to frustration at lack of results due to lack of sleep or simply not enough energy to go in the first place. Tiring myself out at the gym makes no difference. Thank you in advance for any responses.

 

[[Ru...]]

Hello Justinsnightmare,

 

I feel for you, lack of sleep is horrible, it makes one sick physically and mentally. Just do not give up, try to find a doctor, who understands, how serious your insomnia is. There are strong meds, other than benzos, which promote sleep. I have good experience with mianserin, an old tetracyclic antidepressant. Supplements are good, but sometimes not enough.

 

I hope you can soon break the circle of this exhausting insomnia, the world is a thousand times better place, with some decent sleep!

[[ma...]]

Hello Justinsnightmare 

I'm sorry for your suffering. However, I have to disagree that your life is without remedy. At 21 you have a live ahead! I know it's hard to see that now but believe me, you have! Even if you don't get fully cured in the next days or months, you'll have more than plenty of time to rebuild your life. Study again or whatever. Don't think you have failed or something like that because it's not true and will cause you a lot of anxiety. Have you tried relaxation techniques?

 

[[pu...]]

Instead of tiring yourself out at the gym try long walks and jogs everyday, early in the day, and when you go to the gym make sure it is early in the day. Make sure you drink tons of water.

 

I think very long walks are much better then wearing yourself out at the gym, over exertion can make insomnia worse when we are already struggling.

 

I found taking melatonin (about 5 mg) and 5-htp (about 300 mg) the I take about 12.5 mg of Benadryl (a half of the small pills)

 

I don't drink coffee I just drink green tea.

 

Before bed I do lots of stretching, yoga type stretching, breathing excersizes and mediation.

 

Try getting into some yoga, see if you can take a class.

 

I make sure it's as dark as it can be in my bedroom and I wear earplugs when I sleep.

 

I'm 14 months out and it is still a struggle. I think the Ashton's manual is wrong about sleep, a lot of us on here still struggle over a year out, so don't be hard on yourself!

 

 

[[Th...]]

I feel sorry about the suffering you go thru!  Maybe you should visit to see sleep doctor and agree what to do as you have suffered already a long time. My doc proposed me to take Elavil in order to sleep and I did. It helped me to sleep quite reasonable well.  Well later on I quit taking it and my sleep hours went roughly 50% down but I try to continue without drugs in order to let normal sleep returning despite knowing if it does or not. I would try other drug than benzo at least temorarily. Hopefully you get some sleep soon!

[[Ho...]]

You WILL HEAL. Have you tried a paleo diet and melatonin. There is an amazing product called Orthosleep by AOR.

You have a whole life ahead of you and will be able to help so many people. Offer all your suffering to God. He will bless all ills.