Anxiety and Over Reacting W/D Symptoms

[[Je...]]

Hi everyone. Just looking for a little support. Mods if this needs to be moved to another forum please do.

 

I am still at the same dose as listed in my signature. For a few nice nights I was able to sleep but some things have happened and my anxiety is through the roof. I am worrying about everything and overreacting to the point I am afraid of alienating the people in my life.

 

I will just say how it is... I am in my late 40s and live with parents (of course who are older). I don't have any friends and my mom is the only one who understands how I feel.

 

We had some damage from Hurricane Irma. It was actually a tropical storm by the time it went through the state but it still caused damage. I was given the task of finding someone to do the repairs. It has really been hard trying to find a contractor. Plus if I did find someone my parents would give various reasons why not to get them. This went on for a week. This week I found a person and my parents agreed to get them.

 

Well it is taking longer for the repairs than expected. I've been worried every since the work started because it is dangerous and close to the house. I do what I think is right to tell the contractor then I am told later by my parents something totally different. Then other statements are said like what if this happens, it is taking too long, it's not being done right, etc.

 

Today I went off on my parents which I have rarely every done. We have always gotten along. I told them I couldn't make the right decisions, what I said was wrong, I wasn't doing this again, and went on and on through my little tangent. I just felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I was shaking, having trouble breathing, pacing. I know I hurt my mom's feelings and she isn't doing well medically. They both just left the room. I feel awful.

 

They told me before I started the taper that believed the benzo was making me more irritable, I argued over things that were not a big deal, and worry too much about situations I can't control. Mom is the one that supported my call to start getting off the medicine.

 

I feel like I am getting worse than better. I feel so bad during the day. I am dizzy, tired, anxious, been told that I don't remember things correctly or get things wrong... I knew it would be hard but I don't want to make things bad between me and my parents.

 

I sometimes think it would be better just to go back up to what I was taking. 

[Guest [ba...]]

That kind of irritability is exactly what convinced me that I had to get off of those meds.  I damn near got into a fist fight with a guy one day, and it was over nothing (and I am not normally like that at all).

 

Try to relax about the contractors.  They often take on more jobs than they can do in a timely manner.  With apologies to any contractors in the group, we learned to add one unit to whatever they said.  2 weeks meant 3 months, etcetera. 

[[Je...]]

Thanks for replying.

 

Good to know I am not the only one. I went with my mom to the store and the cashier was rude to her. I just jumped all over the gal. My mom said I made it much worse than it was and we were leaving anyways. This was before I started cutting down the medicine.

 

I tell you it does something to the brain (which we know) but I never fully understood until I started doing research on the medicine. It eases the anxiety/panic attacks for awhile but so much other stuff comes up.

 

I will try to relax hopefully 1 week doesn't turn into 2 months .

[Guest [ba...]]

Yeah, I eventually learned to just keep my mouth shut.  It kept me out of trouble.

[[fi...]]

we learned to add one unit to whatever they said.  2 weeks meant 3 months, etcetera.

 

that's a little more than one unit lol....

 

i like your math hehehe

 

and the fact that you made me laugh - i'm in tears right now for other reasons....so thank you for that laugh

 

[Guest [ba...]]

That's just one 'increment' - but for both the number and the unit.  2 becomes 3.  Week becomes Month. 

 

Monday morning becomes next Tuesday afternoon. 

 

We just had a remodel of our kitchen and bathroom.  It was really like that.  It's funny in retrospect, but cooking on a camp stove in the garage got pretty old after a while.

[[fi...]]

badsocref..i'm laughing because i KNOW how contractors are....and the math makes sense!!!! :0)

 

just made me laugh - so thank you

[[Je...]]

Yeah, I eventually learned to just keep my mouth shut.  It kept me out of trouble.

:laugh:Well that is part of my pray every night "Lord if I think I am right and they are wrong... I am probably wrong and remind me of that".

[[Ol...]]

Dealing with contractors can be stressful when you are NOT going through w/d, I can't imagine doing it in this condition! Last summer we had some work done on our house and thank goodness my boyfriend mostly dealt with it, I was in no shape to do it. We used the formula of adding 30% to estimated time and cost and we still ended up way over budget and 3 months late. Don't be too hard on yourself, your parents love you unconditionally and it sounds like your mom really really knows that it's the benzos talking, not you. Plus, living with your parents can be frustrating and you might get in a tiff with them from time to time even if you were 100% healed. It sounds like you are in a great place for healing, just have patience with yourself and this will pass.

[[Je...]]

Thank you. I sure do hope I get through it sooner than later.