Non-existent memory and brain fog

[[Su...]]

Quite a distressing symptom for me has been the cognitive impairment, these pills have done some serious brain damage to me. I will literally forget something 5 seconds after I think to do it. I find reading (which Ive always loved) a challenge due to poor concentration, and after I go back to the same book after a perioid of time I will have completely forgotten every thing Id read before. Even spelling and structuring sentences are difficult, I really have to stop and think, basic maths is difficult (and I studied maths at university). Having a normal conversation can be a struggle too, I used to be chatty and make jokes, but not anymore, now I just answer yes/no basically, I have no personality  :'(.

 

Can someone give me alittle hope, any rough timeline on getting my brain back?? Am I going to be this shell for 2 + years, that would be unbearable.

[[be...]]

It will get better. I know everyone says that but please do have hope. The same sort of cognitive impairment was one of the worst symptoms I experienced for nearly a year after taking my last benzo.

 

For years I started my day off by doing the crossword in the morning paper. Several months after stopping K, I couldn't remember even the easiest answers that are in at least 2 crosswords a week (for example a kimono sash - obi). I also had a difficult time reading much like you've described. It really freaked me out and got me pretty down on myself. Slowly but surely though everything came back. I'm now two years off of K and can happily tell you that I have completely finished every crossword this week, Monday-Friday (nerd alert!)

 

Sorry for all of the details. Hopefully my story helps even just a little bit.

[[Su...]]

I really look forward to having my brain back, I guess I have a bit of waiting to do as im only 3.5 months off. One thing i worry about is if anything happens that requires complex thinking, problem solving Ill be at a complete loss and wont be able to handle it. Im just laying low so hopefully nothing to taxing comes my way.

[[pu...]]

I'm 14 months out and I have no memory at all.

[[er...]]

I had all of what you're talking about and I suspect more, only by virtue of having taken clonazepam for much longer than you took them, about 8 years. 

 

It is absolutely terrifying and it lasts so damn long, which many people will not allow themselves to believe, (esp doctors), so I had to learn to accept that, and become a good actor.  I couldn't follow conversations, had trouble hearing what people were saying, forget about reading.. I'd say 85% of my long term memory disappeared and short term was non existent.  All of my education went down the toilet as well as writing and speaking abilities.  Emotionally, I was numb.

 

Good news, is that almost 19 months after my jump (from a 7 month taper), I'm 90% better on good days, and about 75% better on bad days.. reading still isn't so good, but other faculties are coming back online.  My long and short term memories are coming back, and my vocabulary is coming back as well as most of my education that I remembered prior to getting on benzodiazepines.

 

The best thing one can do for their brain's recovery from this terrible brain injury that we've received (and that's precisely what it is), is hard, cardiovascular exercise.  Consistently.  There are no shortcuts.  Sure, crosswords and any work you can do are beneficial as well, but from a cell regeneration standpoint, exercise is it.  The book, "Spark" by John Ratey has details.  "Exercise is like miracle grow for the brain"

 

I've been exercising 5-6x / week for the last 15 months, and I believe much of my progress is because of that.  Also, I'm now in the best physical shape I've been in, in over 15 years!  Don't let a doctor talk you into any more drugs, to "help" with your recovery.  Old school, diet and exercise will help the most.

 

Best of luck and BB will help!

 

Eric