word recall delays + persistent memory / cognitive issues

[[be...]]

One persistent effect I've had throughout the whole withdrawal is needing an incredibly long time to find a particular word. The more I taper, the more I seem to be aware of how many issues there are cognitively – sorry for so many posts. (For example – I was trying to think of this one website provider – Squarespace – and it took me about 10 seconds to think of, but it happens for more mundane words). Did anyone else have this first as they were beginning to finish up a taper, only to have it recover later? There are so many cognitive issues that have been an issue throughout this entire ordeal, along with the incredibly long time I was on a pretty high dose of Ativan (4 mg, so about 40 of Valium?), that makes me fear that there must have been permanent damage to my ability to think.

 

The taper has taken 18 months itself – wouldn't the cognitive issues have gotten any better as I've decreased the dosage if they were going to at all? I've had 18 months to heal cognitively, but I don't see any difference. I can barely read anything. I'm no longer on 4 mg (I'm way down on .25 mg), but I really feel like I'm in just as much of a fog as I was before. It seems as if I've become incredibly and unimaginably dumbed down. I just feel as if my life has been completely ruined.

 

I also seem to forget what I'm thinking about while I'm thinking of it (hard to describe), and I seem to have incredible difficulty forming new memories or learning new words, whereas it used to be the easiest thing for me (I never had to work much at school due to this). I can't hold any information in my head.

 

If anybody has had these specific symptoms persist and then had them resolve, it would really help to know it got better. Also, if anybody has had them *not* really improve, it would be fine to hear from you too so I can just know that this is how it'll be from now on.

[[...]]

I have similar issues... but I've had small windows (one last night) when I was able to think clearly. I'm not sure the cause/mechanism...I think it's just another part of this whole mess. It used to drive me mad, but now I say to myself "it's not me, it's the benzos, and it will get better."

I hope you get some relief soon.

[[An...]]

I have this same issue. I struggled for about 10 minutes trying to remember what we had for dinner last Saturday. We celebrated my birthday and I knew the Chiropractor was going to ask me if we ate out.

 

My husband said good night to me one night and I have NO recollection of it at all. I have noticed that there are days when I feel pretty good lately. My mind clears, I am more positive and the tremors don't start until later in the day. So, I have hope this will resolve.

[[Gr...]]

Yes I also have this too.  I get super annoyed when my husband interrupts me because I will forget what I was going to say by the time he is done talking.  It makes me so frustrated and it's normal interruptions too. If the phone rings or some car drives by, it's like my memory just gets wiped clean.  I couldn't remember the name Leonardo Da Vinci the other day, I was only able to describe him and luckily, the person I was talking to guessed it. 

 

Sometimes when I do finally remember a word, it seems like an odd word or spelling and it's as if I am learning that word for the first time. 

[[be...]]

That was a problem for me on my full dose. It has passed. However, every once in a while I start to speak in the middle of a sentence I forgot what I was saying so I just go blank. It's  :-[

[[be...]]

Thank you all for your responses. So, if I am interpreting your signatures correctly (hard to tell if I can really do that well these days), you're all either still tapering your meds or have only been done with them a short period of time (I saw one person – sorry, no recall for things like forum names these days – was off only about four months ago) after being on them for a relatively extended period?

 

I was just about to type "Thank you all for your responses" again despite having just typed that less than 45 seconds ago. I just hope this gets better.

[[Gr...]]

Yep- still tapering.  My understanding is the memory stuff is at is worst DURING the taper, and starts to get better after. 

[[be...]]

I certainly hope so.............