dilemma w travel feelings etc pls help

[[kr...]]

Its that time again and last 2 winters i chickened out of going to FL and endured MI winter. I want to believe its just nerves that will settle once I go and I can have sun and meet people and even get a job. is it too much to expect?

 

Im fighting depression and anxiety.

I havent found renters yet and haven't cleaned up so like im "on the fence" with it again.

I don't want to deal w winter.

My difficult bf will be there, but working. Im scared i dont want to be w him in long run

If  i had a job here in MI I liked, Id probably stay but sorta need to rent my place and work in FL to get outta the hole and not let bf run the show.

I may have to take the cats too! cant find cat sitter.

If I get there and just fight or get depressed or anxious etc and want to leave, I don't have my place avail in MI so Id have to go to brothers in fl or sisters in sc or friend in ga.

Ya all think it will pass once I get on the road??

So weird the old me would look at this more like a challenge or adventure, am i still not healed or just getting old in my ways?? woke after 4 hrs freaking out today