Been a While

[[Al...]]

I haven't been on here for a while as I kinda freaked myself out reading every post and as anyone with anxiety knows, over analyzed and over thought everything I read.

 

I've made a huge jump in the time I've been away (about 2 months)

 

From 10mgs Xanax & 100mgs Zolpidem, I am down to 3mgs Xanax, 30mgs Zolpidem & 40mgs Valium.

 

I feel like I am in a vortex of pain, darkness, despair and am completely not coping.

 

Every single anxiety and insomnia symptom I initially had 20 years ago and went onto these revolting drugs for is back 100 times worse.

 

Please somebody tell me it gets better, that there is some light at the end of the tunnel because right now, I don't have any fight left at all.

 

Thanks for reading. X

[[Ch...]]

At the risk of telling you something you already know, it may go easier if you slow down and let your body catch up.  You're cutting multiple drugs and your body's letting you know it's too fast. 

 

When I made a bad cut, I had to reinstate three days later due to the severity of the symptoms.  It's an option to go back up in dose if this has become intolerable.  I know it goes against the goal of being benzodiazepine-free, but there's a breaking point to everyone's tolerance and it's okay to give in and dose up.

 

I'm sorry, All.  The withdrawal process will magnify every single mental, emotional and physical twinge to the nth degree before things start to calm down.  But things will calm down.  Unfortunately, this is the only way out of this situation.  Is it worth it?  You bet. 

 

You've got this.  But I'd slow down, hurrying is only going to make it hurt more.

 

Challis 

 

P.S. It would be good to update your signature so others know where you are now. 

[[li...]]

It is for this exact reason that I am choosing to taper one drug at a a time.  I think the multiple taper might be really hard on your body, mind and soul.  Think about leveling off and doing one drug at a time in small cuts.  It's hard enough.  I hate to see you suffer just for the sake of getting off of everything at once.  Take care of yourself. 

[[Al...]]

Hi Challis,

 

This is the regime my pdoc has put me on. I had to fight like crazy not to go onto Olanzapine (Zyprexa) anti psychotic as well. Despite me telling him I am not coping, they seem to have a 1 size fits all tapering / withdrawal process and every time I say I'm not doing well, they want to put me into a psych ward for an extended stay. Argh 😤

 

It is what it is, I don't want to argue too much in case my pdoc cuts me off or refuses to treat me.

 

Thanks for the advice, and support. As always I am so grateful to the people who read and respond. It means so much. 😍