My situation is getting totally ridiculous !

[[To...]]

So basically this whole situation I got stuck in is getting utterly pathetic and totally ridiculous. About a week ago I did a small cut from 11 mg of Valium to 10 mg. This time was a completely different animal or ballgame. On to the point I have never experienced such a bad cut. It just started right away from the meal I had after I did the cut. I'm very prone to losing my appetite when cutting and I just got it back for about 2 weeks. Once I made that cut I just lost all my appetite and it hasn't gotten any better in a week now. I'm back to force-feeding myself for God knows how long. I keep asking myself is this really worth it ? Is this really withdrawal or am I just seriously messed up in my head ?

 

How am I supposed to get under 5 mg if I can't even function at 10 mg ? Questions above questions are rising up in my mind and they are not good ones. So this is tapering 5 mg ? Really ? Why What if WWIII breaks out (and I'm not kidding here), stupid questions go on and on and never stop. On top of this all I've been taking Ritalin a few times because I came in my doctors office one time and told her I was pretty sure I had developed ADHD or might have had it since I was a little kid and I did a test on the internet which gave me a 50% out come of having ADHD of some sort. So there were no questions asked and she wrote me a subscription right away. I only took a few by now. Of course you can imagine that by the time I have to take my first dose of Valium it kicks in even less now because I took a low dose of Ritalin 5 hours before but she said it would mix okay and if I left 5 hours in between there would be no problems. I just don't know it anymore. I can't imagine or think starting up Ritalin during or for coping with benzo-withdrawal is big time practice but hey I guess that's just me ...     

 

I spend about 4 days in bed suffering from severe depression. Took some Remergon, some old Xanax retard 2 X 0.5 mg to help me cope and sleep. I just don't feel myself anymore ! Even now when writing this post it's like it's not the old TR on 11 mg writing it. Seems like I just can't think anymore or behave like I behaved on 11 mg of Valium. And all of this bull shit for tapering down a lousy 5 mg in total and making a nasty cut of 1 mg recently.

 

 

 

Is this still worth the effort ?

 

 

 

 

Can you guys make anything out of this mess because I sure can't anymore. Just feel free to chime in or give whatever advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks.

[Guest [Le...]]

So basically this whole situation I got stuck in is getting utterly pathetic and totally ridiculous. About a week ago I did a small cut from 11 mg of Valium to 10 mg. This time was a completely different animal or ballgame. On to the point I have never experienced such a bad cut. It just started right away from the meal I had after I did the cut. I'm very prone to losing my appetite when cutting and I just got it back for about 2 weeks. Once I made that cut I just lost all my appetite and it hasn't gotten any better in a week now. I'm back to force-feeding myself for God knows how long. I keep asking myself is this really worth it ? Is this really withdrawal or am I just seriously messed up in my head ?

 

How am I supposed to get under 5 mg if I can't even function at 10 mg ? Questions above questions are rising up in my mind and they are not good ones. So this is tapering 5 mg ? Really ? Why What if WWIII breaks out (and I'm not kidding here), stupid questions go on and on and never stop. On top of this all I've been taking Ritalin a few times because I came in my doctors office one time and told her I was pretty sure I had developed ADHD or might have had it since I was a little kid and I did a test on the internet which gave me a 50% out come of having ADHD of some sort. So there were no questions asked and she wrote me a subscription right away. I only took a few by now. Of course you can imagine that by the time I have to take my first dose of Valium it kicks in even less now because I took a low dose of Ritalin 5 hours before but she said it would mix okay and if I left 5 hours in between there would be no problems. I just don't know it anymore. I can't imagine or think starting up Ritalin during or for coping with benzo-withdrawal is big time practice but hey I guess that's just me ...     

 

I spend about 4 days in bed suffering from severe depression. Took some Remergon, some old Xanax retard 2 X 0.5 mg to help me cope and sleep. I just don't feel myself anymore ! Even now when writing this post it's like it's not the old TR on 11 mg writing it. Seems like I just can't think anymore or behave like I behaved on 11 mg of Valium. And all of this bull shit for tapering down a lousy 5 mg in total and making a nasty cut of 1 mg recently.

 

Is this still worth the effort ?

 

Can you guys make anything out of this mess because I sure can't anymore. Just feel free to chime in or give whatever advice.

 

Thanks.

 

Hey TR,

 

Sorry you're in such a place - yes, it really does suck to be reaching the lower end of a taper, only to get sicker and sicker.

 

The Remeron is unlikely to impede your withdrawal (I took it successfully), but IMO you may not want to mess with Ritalin, and certainly not Xanax.

 

I think you are at the worst point in withdrawal, at least based on my own experience - going forward is killer, and slipping backwards is even worse, nothing helps, and then the whole world seems to be in the midst of an unforgiving maelstrom. 

 

If I were you, and I already did this, I would just keep going down in your taper, skip the other drugs, and take your lumps for now, because if you can do this, and get off, this will really get better. Seriously, it does, I'm living proof.

 

A side note, I was put on Adderall along with the Ativan, and the doc told me the combination was 'safe.' Well, it wasn't - it's more like some kind of a legalized speedball. I would never do something like that again.

 

You can get off this stuff, really - if I can do it, I know you can too. 

 

Leslie

[[Gr...]]

... On top of this all I've been taking Ritalin a few times because I came in my doctors office one time and told her I was pretty sure I had developed ADHD or might have had it since I was a little kid and I did a test on the internet which gave me a 50% out come of having ADHD of some sort. So there were no questions asked and she wrote me a subscription right away. ..

 

I think a LOT of people, including myself have become convinced we have had ADHD since we were kids.  It's too easy to diagnose and tbh, it is over diagnosed.  I also thought this and for a while thought that wellbutrin was going to be the answer for me.  The wellbutrin was a terrible idea for trying to taper.  I ended up with bizarre violent thoughts, and what I realize now, was some sort of chemically induced feeling of rage.  From my understanding Ritalin even revs you up more than wellbutrin. 

 

 

I honestly think the ritalin is mixing badly with benzo withdrawal.  That, plus when you get to low doses, everything is harder.

 

[[To...]]

So basically this whole situation I got stuck in is getting utterly pathetic and totally ridiculous. About a week ago I did a small cut from 11 mg of Valium to 10 mg. This time was a completely different animal or ballgame. On to the point I have never experienced such a bad cut. It just started right away from the meal I had after I did the cut. I'm very prone to losing my appetite when cutting and I just got it back for about 2 weeks. Once I made that cut I just lost all my appetite and it hasn't gotten any better in a week now. I'm back to force-feeding myself for God knows how long. I keep asking myself is this really worth it ? Is this really withdrawal or am I just seriously messed up in my head ?

 

How am I supposed to get under 5 mg if I can't even function at 10 mg ? Questions above questions are rising up in my mind and they are not good ones. So this is tapering 5 mg ? Really ? Why What if WWIII breaks out (and I'm not kidding here), stupid questions go on and on and never stop. On top of this all I've been taking Ritalin a few times because I came in my doctors office one time and told her I was pretty sure I had developed ADHD or might have had it since I was a little kid and I did a test on the internet which gave me a 50% out come of having ADHD of some sort. So there were no questions asked and she wrote me a subscription right away. I only took a few by now. Of course you can imagine that by the time I have to take my first dose of Valium it kicks in even less now because I took a low dose of Ritalin 5 hours before but she said it would mix okay and if I left 5 hours in between there would be no problems. I just don't know it anymore. I can't imagine or think starting up Ritalin during or for coping with benzo-withdrawal is big time practice but hey I guess that's just me ...     

 

I spend about 4 days in bed suffering from severe depression. Took some Remergon, some old Xanax retard 2 X 0.5 mg to help me cope and sleep. I just don't feel myself anymore ! Even now when writing this post it's like it's not the old TR on 11 mg writing it. Seems like I just can't think anymore or behave like I behaved on 11 mg of Valium. And all of this bull shit for tapering down a lousy 5 mg in total and making a nasty cut of 1 mg recently.

 

Is this still worth the effort ?

 

Can you guys make anything out of this mess because I sure can't anymore. Just feel free to chime in or give whatever advice.

 

Thanks.

 

Hey TR,

 

Sorry you're in such a place - yes, it really does suck to be reaching the lower end of a taper, only to get sicker and sicker.

 

The Remeron is unlikely to impede your withdrawal (I took it successfully), but IMO you may not want to mess with Ritalin, and certainly not Xanax.

 

I think you are at the worst point in withdrawal, at least based on my own experience - going forward is killer, and slipping backwards is even worse, nothing helps, and then the whole world seems to be in the midst of an unforgiving maelstrom. 

 

If I were you, and I already did this, I would just keep going down in your taper, skip the other drugs, and take your lumps for now, because if you can do this, and get off, this will really get better. Seriously, it does, I'm living proof.

 

A side note, I was put on Adderall along with the Ativan, and the doc told me the combination was 'safe.' Well, it wasn't - it's more like some kind of a legalized speedball. I would never do something like that again.

 

You can get off this stuff, really - if I can do it, I know you can too. 

 

Leslie

 

 

  -70% withdrawals after reading that one. Oh God you guys are good ! Adderall, Remergon, Ritalin, Ativan, Valium, Zoloft, Ambien, opiates ... you name it. It would come to the point that benzo's are the least of your concerns !!!!   

 

Anyways. Thank you so much both LeslieAsh and GreenCup for you terrific posts. They were really supporting and entertaining. I loved the kind and caring words, both loving and understanding and extremely useful and sensible advice. It actually helped me a great deal because I was really stuck in a dark and bad place or corner yesterday.

 

Before I make a post for help it has to have reached a certain point where it is REALLY necessary if you know what I mean. I hate to ask for help and I'm very bad at it but yesterday I really had to go for it. The problem with this whole situation or ordeal is that when I'm in severe withdrawal one of the first things that falls away are my writing skills or ability to write a post or whatever on the internet. Like I suddenly lose the capability to do so and I get extremely quiet, silent and shut down completely. Like I have become some kind of mute. That's when I know it's time to really ask for help ! And I was glad I did because from the moment I wrote the post I felt some relief already and then I read your posts and amazing replies and from the first one on I really felt the "good vibrations" and felt better like right away and instantly.

 

Especially about the "legalized speed-ball" combo , which is extremely dangerous by the way but I can't get into that any further now, just insanely dangerous and especially if you would take a lot of Adderall in that combo but I digress ... ,  not even going to go into that one.       

 

 

Could have been really dangerous.

 

 

 

 

Thanks guys for coming to the rescue.     

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ph...]]

So I take it that you're off the Ritalin? Sounds like it didn't help much if I'm reading correctly. There are lot of people who are prescribed both (benzo and a stimulant), and I don't know if it's dangerous or not, just probably not helpful in benzo withdrawal. Not to get too technical but a speedball would be a little more like an opiate with adderall  . For the record, for at least a couple of years, I was on various benzos, tramadol (an opiate and SNRI) and adderall. And for a while it all seemed to work really well. I felt great most of the time and was very productive. In hindsight.. a very bad bad idea. Turned my whole brain into an addiction super-highway. It becomes difficult to re-learn to do things if you don't 'feel' good while doing them. My brain has a lot of healing to do. At this point, it's just down to my valium taper.. six weeks in to a re-initiation and still having ups and downs trying to stabilize. One of my docs put me on lexapro, and the other on depakote. I gave them both a fair shot, but don't feel that they are providing much benefit. Anyway, enough rambling. Best of luck to you!

[[Ki...]]

So basically this whole situation I got stuck in is getting utterly pathetic and totally ridiculous. About a week ago I did a small cut from 11 mg of Valium to 10 mg. This time was a completely different animal or ballgame. On to the point I have never experienced such a bad cut. It just started right away from the meal I had after I did the cut. I'm very prone to losing my appetite when cutting and I just got it back for about 2 weeks. Once I made that cut I just lost all my appetite and it hasn't gotten any better in a week now. I'm back to force-feeding myself for God knows how long. I keep asking myself is this really worth it ? Is this really withdrawal or am I just seriously messed up in my head ?

 

How am I supposed to get under 5 mg if I can't even function at 10 mg ? Questions above questions are rising up in my mind and they are not good ones. So this is tapering 5 mg ? Really ? Why What if WWIII breaks out (and I'm not kidding here), stupid questions go on and on and never stop. On top of this all I've been taking Ritalin a few times because I came in my doctors office one time and told her I was pretty sure I had developed ADHD or might have had it since I was a little kid and I did a test on the internet which gave me a 50% out come of having ADHD of some sort. So there were no questions asked and she wrote me a subscription right away. I only took a few by now. Of course you can imagine that by the time I have to take my first dose of Valium it kicks in even less now because I took a low dose of Ritalin 5 hours before but she said it would mix okay and if I left 5 hours in between there would be no problems. I just don't know it anymore. I can't imagine or think starting up Ritalin during or for coping with benzo-withdrawal is big time practice but hey I guess that's just me ...     

 

I spend about 4 days in bed suffering from severe depression. Took some Remergon, some old Xanax retard 2 X 0.5 mg to help me cope and sleep. I just don't feel myself anymore ! Even now when writing this post it's like it's not the old TR on 11 mg writing it. Seems like I just can't think anymore or behave like I behaved on 11 mg of Valium. And all of this bull shit for tapering down a lousy 5 mg in total and making a nasty cut of 1 mg recently.

 

Is this still worth the effort ?

 

Can you guys make anything out of this mess because I sure can't anymore. Just feel free to chime in or give whatever advice.

 

Thanks.

 

Hey TR,

 

Sorry you're in such a place - yes, it really does suck to be reaching the lower end of a taper, only to get sicker and sicker.

 

The Remeron is unlikely to impede your withdrawal (I took it successfully), but IMO you may not want to mess with Ritalin, and certainly not Xanax.

 

I think you are at the worst point in withdrawal, at least based on my own experience - going forward is killer, and slipping backwards is even worse, nothing helps, and then the whole world seems to be in the midst of an unforgiving maelstrom. 

 

If I were you, and I already did this, I would just keep going down in your taper, skip the other drugs, and take your lumps for now, because if you can do this, and get off, this will really get better. Seriously, it does, I'm living proof.

 

A side note, I was put on Adderall along with the Ativan, and the doc told me the combination was 'safe.' Well, it wasn't - it's more like some kind of a legalized speedball. I would never do something like that again.

 

You can get off this stuff, really - if I can do it, I know you can too. 

 

Leslie

 

 

  -70% withdrawals after reading that one. Oh God you guys are good ! Adderall, Remergon, Ritalin, Ativan, Valium, Zoloft, Ambien, opiates ... you name it. It would come to the point that benzo's are the least of your concerns !!!!   

 

Anyways. Thank you so much both LeslieAsh and GreenCup for you terrific posts. They were really supporting and entertaining. I loved the kind and caring words, both loving and understanding and extremely useful and sensible advice. It actually helped me a great deal because I was really stuck in a dark and bad place or corner yesterday.

 

Before I make a post for help it has to have reached a certain point where it is REALLY necessary if you know what I mean. I hate to ask for help and I'm very bad at it but yesterday I really had to go for it. The problem with this whole situation or ordeal is that when I'm in severe withdrawal one of the first things that falls away are my writing skills or ability to write a post or whatever on the internet. Like I suddenly lose the capability to do so and I get extremely quiet, silent and shut down completely. Like I have become some kind of mute. That's when I know it's time to really ask for help ! And I was glad I did because from the moment I wrote the post I felt some relief already and then I read your posts and amazing replies and from the first one on I really felt the "good vibrations" and felt better like right away and instantly.

 

Especially about the "legalized speed-ball" combo , which is extremely dangerous by the way but I can't get into that any further now, just insanely dangerous and especially if you would take a lot of Adderall in that combo but I digress ... ,  not even going to go into that one.       

 

 

Could have been really dangerous.

 

 

 

 

Thanks guys for coming to the rescue.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

TotalRelapse, I couldn't have said it better myself. I feel so mute until I read what someone else is going through and only then can I identify my feelings. Thank you for having the courage to post!  Blessings to you! 

[[Do...]]

A stimulant like ritalin is the last thing you want to be taking right now.  Benzos slow down our systems, so while you are tapering, your nervous system goes into overdrive.  Add a stimulant to this, like ritalin or adderal, and your nervous system speeds up even more, causing even worse side effects.  (Yes, it could still help with your focus, but it will most likely make everything else worse).  This is why many people cannot tolerate caffeine or sugar while tapering, because they are both stimulants and tend to set symptoms off.