Oh god I relapsed

[[ce...]]

I was so desperate last night with sleep deprivation I took a zopiclone at 4 am.  I had already tried half doxy at 9.30 and did not feel anything.  I had also taken some seriphos and thianine to reduce my cortisol.  Have I messed up.  I can't stand this.

[Guest [Le...]]

I was so desperate last night with sleep deprivation I took a zopiclone at 4 am.  I had already tried half doxy at 9.30 and did not feel anything.  I had also taken some seriphos and thianine to reduce my cortisol.  Have I messed up.  I can't stand this.

 

Try to think of it as a rescue dose rather than a relapse, and just keep a steady eye to the future - I didn't sleep properly for so long that I just gave up hoping.

 

Suddenly natural sleep just dropped on me, perhaps a month ago. Never thought the day would come, but it finally did. 

[[ce...]]

Hi Leslieash,

 

Thanks for your support.  How the hell did you manage for so long with no sleep because it make my daytime symptoms 10 times worse with even more anxiety and jitters etc.

[Guest [Le...]]

Hi Leslieash,

 

Thanks for your support.  How the hell did you manage for so long with no sleep because it make my daytime symptoms 10 times worse with even more anxiety and jitters etc.

 

It's so surreal that it's hard to even remember now. To be honest, I really didn't think I'd survive - but somehow I did, we all do.

 

It wasn't that long ago (a few months, perhaps?) that I was still getting very little sleep, waking up in terror from the shreds that I did get, and having surges of anxiety constantly. It was the full-on Cortisol Express experience.

 

I suspect you'll find relief far sooner than I did, because I did a rapid taper with a cold turkey conclusion, after years of being polydrugged. It's very strange the way benzos and z-drugs deprive us of even the faintest ability to sleep, but they do, and it's temporary.

 

As obnoxious as it sounds, the only thing that made it more bearable was just accepting that insomnia was going to be an unwanted but temporary companion. To be clear, I didn't do this out of any strength of character - rather, the lack of sleep beat me into submission. But the magical part was that not long after the time that I utterly gave in, I could suddenly begin to sleep again, and return to drinking my beloved coffee, eating chocolate, and doing all sorts of normal things.

 

It'll happen for you, too - I feel pretty safe in promising you this.

 

[[Wi...]]

Zoplicone isnt a benzo so rest easy buddy! Even if it were one rescue dose is irrelevant. Dont worry. Stay positive.

[[pu...]]

I messed up a few times, hang in there, don't beat yourself up, you are still healing and headed towards the goal. 

[[ce...]]

Awww thanks guys for your support.  I had to take half a zop last night as we had such a bad storm last night with things banging and blowing about.  Thankfully the only damage was the felt got ripped off the garden shed,

 

I an om own today as my OH has gone to see his mum who is 4 hours drive away.  Always very anxious anyway but being alone make it worse!!!  So today is going to feel like a week long.