Looking for Support and willing to give support

[[Lu...]]

I have been on Benzos for 7 years. I am currently 30 years old now. I suffered a series of tragedies from ages 17-23 that led to PTSD and anxiety. Lost 3 family members, two to ATV accidents (ages 7 and 17) one to cancer (age 5), I was declared dead myself in a bad accident (you can PM me about my OBE if you want to know more) I then had a rough parental divorce, followed by a long all to predictable spiral.

 

I then met the love of my life and her sister was murdered shortly there after (at age 23) Supporting her, on top of everything else was too much. I started with Xanax as needed .5mg per day. Soon it was 1mg day and within a year it was 2mg x 2 a day. Then they added SSRIs and SNRIs and everything else you could think of. I eventually realized this was not ok (the first days of my son's birth were spent with me being more worried about whatever medical anxiety I had that day than appreciating this gift of life being bestowed up on us).

 

Being in the medical field (I am a cancer researcher, which probably doesn't help my anxiety) I demanded to be switched over to valium in order to taper. My Psychiatrist agreed this was good. I also told him I was tapering my SNRI (venlafaxine at the time, which I have been off of for 3 months now!) I am very gratefully my doctor has agreed to prescribe me bulk quantities of child valium, though the pharmacy complains because it is a special order (I cannot believe such a thing even exists, which is slightly horrifying) it is liquid and is mixed at 1mg/1ml of solution, I basically get 1 liter bottle with a license to use. However, this has been invaluable towards my taper thus far. (I do think my profession has led Drs to be much more liberal with prescribing medications, and I was much too trusting).

 

I moved to valium at the first of the year and started at 20 mg twice per day (it was slightly more complicated substituting doses with xanax, but it was relatively painless). I have been tapering since January 1st and I am down to 18 mg (9 mg 2x a day). When I started, the sheer length of the taper gave me panic attacks. I have come so far. I have so far to go. Before I started my taper, I was running 80 miles + per week, racing bicycles on my off days, and crushing it. (I over exercised to help with my anxiety) Currently, I can barely run 15 miles now in a single setting, (to some that seems like alot, I know, but for someone who just last year won a 50km race in 4 hours, it is a large drop) However, the withdrawal has started to win. I have exhausted my social capital. My wife (who happens to be a professor in psychology no less) is at her wits end. Now that I am down to 18 mg, I pretty much just bike to and from work (10 miles total) and that is all I can handle. I need help from like minded people. Hello World...

[Guest [Le...]]

Hello, Luvthemomo - welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I'm so sorry for the string of tragedies that led you to be in this position - it's not a surprise that you ended up on so many drugs, as that seems to be the preferred method of managing even basic anxiety these days, never mind the really serious stuff.

 

Congrats on tapering down so far already, though - you've come to the right place to finish your taper. 

 

I'm so glad you decided to join the forum - you'll find plenty of information and support here. Our members have gone through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, so you'll be able to connect with others who understand what you're going through.

 

Here are a couple of links that may be a good starting place for you to post your questions.

 

  General Taper Plans

  Withdrawal Support

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature. This will allow members to see where you are in the process, so that they can better support you.

 

Looking forward to seeing you on the forum!

Leslie 

 

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative resource on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations.

 

For those who are currently tapering, a starting guideline is that the dosage not be reduced faster than by 5-10% every 10-14 days - some taper even more slowly than that. One exception: very short-term users of a few weeks or less may be able to taper somewhat faster.