23 months from kolonapin jump.

[[ss...]]

Nearly two years from jump. I've been under psychiatric care since February and have been trying multiple drugs. BuSpar and seem to keep me at bay for some time now. Still have slight ongoing symptoms but they are constant not in waves. Been having long windows of normality but still have bad sleeping patterns. Up all night sleep all day. Experimenting with my girlfriends lorazepam for a few days just to take the edge off thinking a little bit. Took one milligram of Lorazepam for 3 days. After stopping it put me into a really bad wave almost as bad as like one month out. Slept for 18 hours 2 days straight.  Not eating, Agri phobia, desolcialization can't handle the stress of being around others or or doing the most simple task. I felt an obligation to report that to the community. This community has done so much for me. I am hoping this is my last wave it was a strong one but I feel that it will go away quickly.

 

[[Kr...]]

A friend of mine who worked in mental health 'plays' with lorazepam.  She was on an anti-D took herself off and then had lorazapam occasionally.  She ended up so imbalanced she asked for assistance (lost her job prior because she was so emotionally up and down), and she went to a halfway house so a new AntD could be prescribed.  I used a quarter of a lorazapam about 6 times over the first 6 months of my jump fully aware that it was a backward step and likely to make wd linger, at the same time praying I wouldn't kindle to stage 1.  We are really beating ourselves up when we reach out and play for an oasis in the storm as we do need our brain chemistry to rest and heal and try to maintain our sanity while we're waiting for healing.