It's been one year!

[[bl...]]

I can hardly believe it !! Today marks one year ago that I took my last Xanax before bed as I was preparing for surgery the next morning; blissfully ignorant of the horror that was coming my way. Had I known what was waiting for me around the corner I would have run the other way!  It's been a tough year and if someone would have told me in the beginning that I would still be dealing with this a year later I would not have believed them. I was so sure that I would be healed in 6 months but that was not the plan for me. The 6 month mark came and went and I was still engulfed in withdrawal. Now, at a year down the road I still have some symptoms that I am dealing with but when I think back to those first few months of feeling completely disoriented and like a stranger in the world, I can see how far I've come!  I am living my life fairly well. I enjoy my family and friends and am involved in my church. I've been able to travel. At this point, withdrawal doesn't really stop me from doing anything that I want to do even though it's tough sometimes. I've learned to push through the symptoms if I can. Of course, there are times when I can't keep going and I have to listen to my body and rest. Then I have a "pajama day" and just check out until I can get on with it again...and I've learned to not feel guilty when I need to do that. The symptoms that I still have at one year post CT are head pressure with floaty head/dizziness (not every day/nonstop intense like it used to be. Now it comes and goes and it's pretty mild). I also have racing heart, fatigue and tinnitus. Usually I don't hear the tinnitus too much during the day but mostly in the morning and evening when it's quiet. I am getting more and more good days where I think to myself " If it stayed like this, I could live with it ". The waves still come but they are not nearly as intense and debilitating as they used to be and the windows are much better too. There were many days when I felt so awful, despondent and hopeless  of ever getting better and I was sure I was stuck in the nightmare forever. It was horrendous in the beginning but the buddies here assured me that I would heal in time and they were right!  I'm not all the way there yet but I'm on my way and I don't feel like a stranger in a fake world any longer. So hang in there everyone; it does get better and the great hope is that someday we will all be completely healed and doing better than ever!  Time is on our side !

[[Kl...]]

Congrats, I'll be there in a couple weeks. I hope things continue to get better quickly for you!

[[in...]]

hello blackeyedsusan! congratulations! 🎈

 

did see improvements over the last few months or did the healing come quickly at the end? i hope you understand what i mean.

 

i am 10 months off and still struggle with someone symptoms like dizziness, face pain and cog fog (head pressure)

[[bl...]]

Thank you both!  Once I got past the acute stage I noticed certain things got better, like my sense of taste and smell returned. However, the dizziness, heavy/ foggy head and funky vision hung on. It was sometime in month 10 that I felt something change for the better. It was ever so slight and hardly noticeable but it was there. Since then there have been improvement in both my windows and waves. I did have a setback about a week and a half ago due to stress that brought on a migraine. I had a few days where I felt like I went backwards but I got past it pretty quickly.

[[in...]]

thank you for your reply, i appreciate that!

 

[[Tr...]]

Great news, congratulations!

[[te...]]

Congrats on reaching a year! So glad you are feeling better. Best wishes for continued healing 

[[Pi...]]

My heart is full of joy that you are feeling better and continue to improve. Congratulations for reaching your one year mark; that is a very big accomplishment.

 

Sendings you much love and heartfelt prayers for continuous healing and complete recovery.  I and am sure others very much appreciate if you can post your progress. Gives us hope and patience that in time, we will also all recover.

 

Blessings!

Pi

[[Co...]]

Congrats! You're always so encouraging.  Thanks for the update. 

 

Did you have a window/wave pattern throughout?

[[bl...]]

Yes, I started the window/wave pattern early on. It was different in the beginning though. At first my waves were in the morning and afternoon and then I would feel much better in the evenings. That went on for quite awhile and then I started having whole days that were windows. I would have one good day and three bad ones. Eventually there were more and more good days. Lately I've had windows that can last a week and a half but then I will have a few days of a wave. It seems like it's always changing. As soon as I notice a pattern it morphs into something else.

[[Pi...]]

Congratulations blackeyedsusan! It is so inspiring to read your post about your progress and  improvements.  Reading success stories like yours always gives me hope and patience that in time, I will also heal along with the others who are still in the midst of withdrawal.

 

How is your sleep? please keep us posted with your progress.

 

Sending you my love and heartfelt prayers for continuous healing and complete recovery.

 

Pi

[[bl...]]

Hi Pi !  One of my first symptoms in acute was horrible insomnia. I only slept for maybe 20 minutes a night (if even that much).  That went on for a few weeks. It was absolutely miserable.  Then I started using an essential oil relaxation mix and that helped my sleep improve to about four hours per night. I also bought a diffuser and put it next to my bed and diffused  that same oil in it. I was very regimented with my sleep routine.  My sleep improved to about six hours per night which is about where I am now. That's pretty normal for me. Sometimes I still get early-morning awakenings at around 3:30 to 4:30 AM. Usually I am able to go back to sleep but not always.

[[Pi...]]

Hello blackeyesusan. Thank you for your quick reply. I am seven months off and my sleep are still light and broken with dreams and about 2-3 wake ups. But I am very thankful that I can generally go back to sleep after a few minutes. It is definitely better than no sleep which a lot of us suffered  during the acute stage.

I know that I am healing, that in time, I will also recover and hopefully get restorative sleep.

 

Hope and pray that you continue to feel better and better.

Pi