J's Benzo Situation

[[js...]]

As has been made clear, personal information should not be used, so I will just introduce myself as J.  I have been using Diazepam for around 9 years now, and I am under 30.  My situation is rather unique though.  I first started using diazepam because you could buy it over the counter where I was and I was a party animal and it was just another drug to abuse.  I would often take it to knock me out after a heavy night on something else, or to push through a hangover. 

 

But I realized that I was also suffering from social anxiety disorder, so I then started to use it for its anxiolytic properties.  In particular before meeting big groups of people, giving speeches etc.  Over time it actually seemed to get worse.  When I say my situation is unique, what I meant by that was I don't take it on a daily basis, I am trying to come off it and so I leave it as long as I possibly can before I take a dose.  After 9 years I have built up quite the tolerance, so now if I had to give a talk for example, I would take 700mg, or 70 x 10mg tablets. 

 

Because of this I think my withdrawal is also slightly different.  The reason I took it in this way was because I actually studied pharmacology, and so recognized the dangers.  But I thought it might be ok if it was at most a weekly thing.  Unfortunately that doesn't seem to have been the case.  I started getting more of a rebound withdrawal.  So the effects seem to keep me going in a sense for around a week, then I start getting social anxiety symptoms, and they are a lot worse now than they were before.

 

I've never looked at specific methods of getting off benzos, other than tapering.  I have managed to have myself at a dose as low as 200mg in the last couple of months, but the effects lasted much less time, and the 'rebound' came on after a few days rather than a week or so.  So now I am going to try and taper, but in smaller amounts.  The next few days are going to be tough as I have some big things to get through.  Saturday is my first big hurdle, at the moment I don't know if I can try and go Valium free, or 500mg, but I am hoping for the first.  On Monday, I know I will need at least 500mg.  But then I want to start tapering down.  I think I can get back to 200mg fairly quickly, but it's around that time that it starts to get difficult.  So after this next week of some big things, I am going to knock it down to 200mg, then try taking down 10mg each week.  I haven't actually worked it all out, but now I am in a country where I can't buy diazepam over the counter (which in a sense could actually be helpful I suppose), but if I don't taper then I am going to be in real trouble.  I'd much rather have to go cold turkey from 200mg a week than 500+!

 

The reason I say this week will be hard (without wanting to divulge too much personal info), is that there are a lot of new people I need to meet, and I will be put on the spot a lot.  Basically my worst nightmare.  But usually once I get to know people my social anxiety around them decreases.

 

I suppose this could have been the start of a blog more than an introduction, but I'm still not totally sure how the forum works.  Anyway, I am looking forward to being a part of it, and getting rid of this horrible burden hanging over my life.  Thank you all so much!

 

J

[[Ch...]]

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, J.

 

Generally tapers are based on a consistent daily dose, one that allows you to be functional.  I think in your situation I'd want to first establish what that dose is, and that could take some experimenting to find out what will work for you.  Diazepam has about a two week window in which to see the full results of either a cut or an increase in dose. 

 

Here's a link to General Taper Plans where you can post to the community for help with a taper plan. 

 

We recommend that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr. C. Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations on the reasons for their existence.

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

Take care,

Challis 

[[js...]]

Thank you!  I will look through all the links you have posted and go from there.

 

J