Still obsessing and being depressed

[[Si...]]

Hi,

I'm 22 months out and my worst symptom is still obsessive thinking about life (intrusive looping) and depression.

I keep regretting so many things I did or didn't do in the past. I keep thinking I will keep acting this way in the future because I AM that kind of person (hard to  explain...). I keep comparing my life with other people's lifes and I feel my life means totally nothing! I get depressed because of this . Sometimes I just don't know if I get depressed by thinking this way, having this negative obsessive thoughts or the depression occurs on it's own. Do you know what I mean? Or do I get depressed by all of this, e.g. not very productive, not having much motivation, having anxiety still, not seeing friends or not having many friends, being afraid of the future etc Do you guys know What I mean? Can you relate? I cannot work today because of this depressive thinking, depression...it is debilitating this far out... :'(

[Guest [ba...]]

You can stop obsessing if you choose, and it will probably help with your depression.  It really is up to you.  Yes, you've made it a life-long habit, but people kick life-long habits all the time.  It takes some time and effort, but it's doable if it's something that you want.

 

I used to obsessively think about things.  It was who I was (or so I told myself).  It made me a very angry person.  I've now stopped doing that.  It was killing me.  All I had to do was to think about other things instead.

[[va...]]

So sorry you are suffering, Simone.

 

Intrusive thoughts and regret are the worst!! Yet they are not reality and are distortions of the truth caused by withdraw and anxiety. I know it is SO hard to not engage them, but we all must. I know when I engage these things I will lose!! Do something, anything that is productive. It's all about what we can do today.

 

I am starting a blog with drawings that I create while going through this. Here is a link to a drawing that deals with this issue:)

 

http://anxiousinklings.com/index.php/2017/08/11/92/

 

Keep moving forward:) God bless We are all in this together!

 

 

[[Si...]]

Vaartist,

 

This drawing is awesome!!! Love it!

It stands for what I'm feeling right now just like you are.

It feels like my whole past is a failure, even when I was a kid I did everything wrong, so stupid!!!

I'm overwhelmed by thoughts today and it's even harder because of the hot weather here I cannot cope with it brings me more anxiety, it irritates me...!

 

Bads,

Thanks for responding. Yes, I try to replace this thoughts by positive ones but omg this is soooo hard!!!

[[va...]]

I get it. I sit at my desk and these thoughts and narratives are screaming at me non-stop!

 

Doing anything productive is always good. From something as simple as making the bed or cleaning dishes. The thoughts will still try to hammer you, but the more you engage your mind in something else the better.

 

Hang in there and don't believe the lies in your head.

 

We will all heal!!!! 

[Guest [ba...]]

Bads,

Thanks for responding. Yes, I try to replace this thoughts by positive ones but omg this is soooo hard!!!

 

Bad habits are difficult to break.  Ask any former smoker.

[[Ma...]]

"You can stop obsessing if you choose"

 

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, I NEVER THOUGHT IF I JUST CHOSE TO STOP I COULD! IM ALL BETTER THANKS"

 

Seriously man? Lolol Im pretty sure if Me and ANYONE else with anxious and obsessive thoughts could "choose to stop", we would. You make no sense lol

 

anyways, So Try to find things to distract yourself like hobbies or exercise if you're able and don't fight the thoughts but try not to give in to them to much, when you fight is when they get worse.

[[va...]]

My drawing of my obsessive thoughts

 

http://anxiousinklings.com/index.php/2017/08/11/92/

[[Si...]]

Bads,

Thanks for responding. Yes, I try to replace this thoughts by positive ones but omg this is soooo hard!!!

 

Bad habits are difficult to break.  Ask any former smoker.

 

Sorry but I think you cannot compare intrusive obsessive thinking with smoking!!!

 

One can stop smoking but we cannot stop the thinking! It's the defect brain talking to us!

The only we can do is distract distract distract

[Guest [ba...]]

"You can stop obsessing if you choose"

 

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, I NEVER THOUGHT IF I JUST CHOSE TO STOP I COULD! IM ALL BETTER THANKS"

 

Seriously man? Lolol Im pretty sure if Me and ANYONE else with anxious and obsessive thoughts could "choose to stop", we would. You make no sense lol

 

anyways, So Try to find things to distract yourself like hobbies or exercise if you're able and don't fight the thoughts but try not to give in to them to much, when you fight is when they get worse.

 

If you believe that it's impossible to do this, then it probably is.  If you believe that it's possible, then it probably is.  I chose the latter and worked on it diligently with my therapist during my withdrawal/recovery.  I am much happier for it.  I just want that result for others.  Sorry if I offended your sensibilities. 

[[...]]

You can stop obsessing if you choose, and it will probably help with your depression.  It really is up to you.  Yes, you've made it a life-long habit, but people kick life-long habits all the time.  It takes some time and effort, but it's doable if it's something that you want.

 

I used to obsessively think about things.  It was who I was (or so I told myself).  It made me a very angry person.  I've now stopped doing that.  It was killing me.  All I had to do was to think about other things instead.

 

 

Yeah right ! If it was that easy , I'm sure no one will have OCD

[[...]]

I'm currently doing ERP & CBT for my obsessive thoughts , they say don't stop the thoughts , it will only make the obsession stronger , Let the thoughts be there, Give yourself permission to have the thoughts. We have to learn to to manage that the occurrence of any thought, no matter how bizarre or horrific, has no meaning.​

I also say this " I am not my thought , I am light "

[Guest [ba...]]

It's not easy which is why we all (myself included) opted to pop a pill instead. 

 

It takes time and effort, but it can be done.

 

We have a big State inspection tomorrow at my business.  Five years ago, I would have been awake most of the night before worrying about it.  Not any more.  Worrying incessantly about it accomplishes nothing, so I have chosen not to do that anymore.  Took me 60 years to realize this and put it into practice. 

 

I think it helps to know the difference between 'deciding' and 'choosing'.