A not-so-simple question for you all

[Guest [El...]]

Hi, I've been benzo-free since Feb 2015, and AD-free since Feb. '16.

I'm about 90% healed and have been doing a lot of thinking about my experience.

 

I'd like to know why you decided to quit taking whatever benzo (and or other meds) you were on. Did you notice a problem with symptoms? Did someone say something to you, like a doctor or friend? Did you come across an article or something on-line?

 

I'm considering writing a book about my experience but not only. I would like to combine my experience with other stories and facts about benzodiazepines.

 

If you could answer I'd appreciate your help.

 

💙

[[in...]]

the doctor said i can take it for years without a doubt. then a friend of mine (pharmacy student) said he heard in university that these pills "are not that good", so i quitted

[Guest [El...]]

Did you do any research into why there were harmful? Was it a psychiatrist who prescribed it or a GP?

[[in...]]

i did a reaearch when i got them. and it said that there is a possibility for dependence but i thought it's just psychological and i am on a "low dose" so i will never get there.

 

i went to my gp and his wife is a psychiatrist (they work together) and she prescribed me xanax and said i could take 4 mg over the day. i took only 0,5 - 1 mg because 8 pills sounded a bit too much for me.

after realizing that it is getting worse (intersose wd) she wanted to higher the dose and prescribed 2 different ssris, which i did not take.

[Guest [El...]]

Hi, I've been benzo-free since Feb 2015, and AD-free since Feb. '16.

I'm about 90% healed and have been doing a lot of thinking about my experience.

 

I'd like to know why you decided to quit taking whatever benzo (and or other meds) you were on. Did you notice a problem with symptoms? Did someone say something to you, like a doctor or friend? Did you come across an article or something on-line?

 

I'm considering writing a book about my experience but not only. I would like to combine my experience with other stories and facts about benzodiazepines.

 

If you could answer I'd appreciate your help.

 

[Guest [ba...]]

I stopped because I sensed that something was wrong.  I was becoming increasingly anxious and angry/emotional.  I only took the pills for insomnia, and my perceived sleep quality was also declining.  So it was time to quit.  I had no idea that quitting would be so difficult.

[Guest [ch...]]

I stopped seeing the prescribing psychiatrist, having moved away to another state. My prescription for Ativan, which I had been taking for 3 years, ran out.  Not having been warned that Ativan was addictive, I had no clue what was going to happen. I was in for a shock. I went into acute cold turkey withdrawal. I was very very sick. Ran around to various doctors, ER's, even a psych hospital - nobody able or willing to help. Most denied that benzo withdrawal was the cause. "You have an anxiety disorder, you need to go back on Ativan and take it for the rest of your life". F***ing idiots. Finally found my way to benzobuddies and other sources of true information on the web. Tapered myself off without the help of anyone in the medical so-called profession, using a black market supply of benzos. After that nightmare experience, was determined to get off and stay off all psych drugs. To me it actually is very simple - why would anyone *want* to be dependent a highly addictive drug? Why would someone *want* to be impaired by brain-damaging drugs while living in constant fear of becoming very sick if you can't get your supply for some reason? Not me!

 

At this point I am off all psych drugs and recovered 110%.

 

Write that book, Elizabeth! More power to you. Feel free to PM me if you want more info or help.

 

Love,

 

Chessplayer

 

[[Ma...]]

felt totally poisoned and more an more body functions started to break down. I started to taper against advice and against everyone in my environment, so to speak. best decision ever.

[Guest [El...]]

I stopped seeing the prescribing psychiatrist, having moved away to another state. My prescription for Ativan, which I had been taking for 3 years, ran out.  Not having been warned that Ativan was addictive, I had no clue what was going to happen. I was in for a shock. I went into acute cold turkey withdrawal. I was very very sick. Ran around to various doctors, ER's, even a psych hospital - nobody able or willing to help. Most denied that benzo withdrawal was the cause. "You have an anxiety disorder, you need to go back on Ativan and take it for the rest of your life". F***ing idiots. Finally found my way to benzobuddies and other sources of true information on the web. Tapered myself off without the help of anyone in the medical so-called profession, using a black market supply of benzos. After that nightmare experience, was determined to get off and stay off all psych drugs. To me it actually is very simple - why would anyone *want* to be dependent a highly addictive drug? Why would someone *want* to be impaired by brain-damaging drugs while living in constant fear of becoming very sick if you can't get your supply for some reason? Not me!

 

At this point I am off all psych drugs and recovered 110%.

 

Write that book, Elizabeth! More power to you. Feel free to PM me if you want more info or help.

 

Love,

 

Chessplayer

 

Wow. To say that's messed up is an understatement. I went through similar, equally horrific, dealing with equally ignorant medical staff. Thanks for sharing 💙

[Guest [El...]]

felt totally poisoned and more an more body functions started to break down. I started to taper against advice and against everyone in my environment, so to speak. best decision ever.

 

How did you know it was the benzo?

[[Te...]]

I was taking .5 mg. Ativan for a hospital crisis and the resulting anxiety from it. My blood pressure never seemed to stabilize. On benzos it would be entirely erratic (still is but to a less extent). As soon as I started taking them, since the bottle said "as needed," I began having 1 mg. for doctor visits, hoping to have lower blood pressure in the office, then not taking them for a couple of days (building up a supply so that I'd have them for more doctor visits, since I was seeing two doctors regularly). I had so many doctor appointments that I did this frequently. About six months into taking them, I started feeling unusually dizzy. By 11 months I was having terrible vertigo. I remember one day I was walking in an intersection, and try as I might, I couldn't walk a straight line. I was walking to the left. I thought I was having a stroke and stood at the light pole for a long time in order to see if I could walk straight. I was terrified because less than a year earlier, I'd had a TIA. As soon as I got home, I don't know how many Ativans I took. Maybe three. Finally, after an episode of vertigo happened again, I started researching online and knew that I was in trouble. But before that, I hadn't looked up any information. I just trusted the physician assistant who prescribed them. I remember my sister saying, "I hope you don't get addicted," but I had no concept of benzos and dependence/tolerance issues. I thought I was following the bottle's instructions, and since the PA didn't give me any warnings whatsoever, I thought it was a harmless drug. WOW, was I wrong!!

[[Su...]]

Hi EN,

I wanted to get off this stuff --after 18 years -- as I could see that it was really affecting my short term memory  and my cognition.  Being 60 that really scared me as I wondered what the next few years might look like.

 

And my sleep quality was poor, the reason I started Xanax to begin with. I was taking more and more Xanax and felt exhausted all the time -- no dreams when i slept either.  It's very fun having those back!  Who needs netflix? my brain is making up for years of suppressed dreaming.

 

In the last year of taking this stuff i started to get interdose w/d.  Around 4:00pm I could feel my body begin to tense up and it would get worse and worse until I took my nightly dose around 9:30.  So my evenings were no fun!

I knew I had to get off but waited until I had the time.  (I thought I'd be off and living life to the fullest in about 4 months  ).

Funny, not funny......

 

[Guest [Le...]]

Hi Elizabeth,

 

I'm so glad that you are free of benzos and doing well! 

 

However, I merged two identical posts, which appeared separately in Benzo-free Celebrations and Success Stories, since they're not suitably worded for either board.

 

Additionally, in requesting responses from our membership, please bear in mind the guidelines posted below.

 

Thanks,

Leslie

 

Forum Rules & Guidelines

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  Members of this community are not to be used as research subjects without the express permission of benzobuddies.org and each and every member/subject who might form part of the study.
  
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[[Gr...]]

Hey Elizabeth- I love your idea of writing a book about this.  I've been thinking about doing a similar thing.  I actually tried to get off benzos a few times.  I always felt like I didn't want to take medication and felt like I had to take the klonopin to feel at all normal and that it wasn't doing it's job as a tranquilizer anymore.  I first felt this only 4-5 months of taking it regularly and the solution, more often than not, was the doctor telling me that if I stopped taking it, my anxiety would come back even worse, and then usually prescribing me more or trying to add another drug into the mix. 

 

I didn't know about withdrawal for a while, and then, even after I did know about withdrawal, I had no idea how bad or how long it could be, so every time I cut down, I always thought that was my underlying anxiety, which was now coming back, that I hadn't felt in a long time and it was debilitating. 

 

Even one time, I went completely OFF klonopin, in a somewhat rapid taper, or maybe not, just faster than what I did this time, my friend BEGGED me to go and see a doctor about it, who when I told him how I went off the klonopin, said to me, "Well why would you want to do that?" and I felt so stupid.  and I was like, "Isn't it bad to keep taking?" and this doctor thought it was ridiculous for me to live with discomfort and I should just take my medicine and stop messing around. 

 

Then in 2006, I started to cut down on klonopin to get pregnant, and my withdrawal was mixed up with my pregnancy symptoms, and in hindsight, most things were actually withdrawal, but I got a lot of sympathy cause people thought it was pregnancy.  I actually had to reinstate at .25mg a day during my pregnancy cause things were so unbearable.

 

At the end of my pregnancy, I was so sick of not feeling well, I reinstated back to 2.5mg a day.  I was so kindled from going up and down all the pregnancy and also taking xanax as needed.  I remained feeling awful and kindled for a year, and then I sort of felt normal but severely depressed.  I thought I had postpartum depression until I met other women with postpartum depression and I knew I had something else.

 

I went on zoloft, which was amazing.  After just 6 weeks on zoloft my anxiety was under control.  After 3 months on zoloft, my anxiety was gone.  I hadn't even gone on the zoloft for anxiety, I went on it for depression, but it was like this miracle drug.  I went through a few different ssris then, and it was while I was on the zoloft I realized that the klonopin did absolutely nothing for my anxiety, and I also had moved and gotten a doctor who wanted me to cut down the amount of klonopin I took per day.  She thought 1mg a day was a reasonable amount and that my 2 - 2.5mg a day was too much. 

 

She asked me to just try to cut down from 2 to 1.5 mg a day, and just try it for a month and see how I felt.  She said it would be similar to quitting smoking.  My father was also emailing me a lot of articles about benzodiazepenes and benadryl(something else I was using) cause dementia.  So I did some research and decided to taper down.  I knew about benzo buddies from when I was pregnant.  I had come across here and not really stayed cause I thought my brain chemistry had changed somehow and I needed benzos for life, which is what the psychiatrist had told me, even as I was tapering klonopin to become pregnant. 

 

Anyways, I'm still in my taper, but I counted one time, and I have tapered down about 7 times, once every 3-5 years.  Most of the time with little or no support, usually with doctors advising against it, with prescription in hand, for when I change my mind.  This time, I have doctors advising to stop taking it.  I can't believe it took me this long.

[Guest [El...]]

I need to clarify that I'm not gathering info to use, just info to help me decide which direction my possible book would go.

 

There are so many problems associated with benzo use and so many sides to the problems that arise from them.

[[Te...]]

Yes, it would be wonderful if you could write a book! Unfortunately, benzos are so paradoxical and affect people in so many different ways. Anything out there, though, that sheds more light on this "devil in disguise" could certainly help!

[[Na...]]

For me, it was several things.

 

1.) Unexplained persistent dizziness.

 

2.) Unexplained afternoon anxiety (i.e. interdose withdrawal)

 

3.) Just feeling bad all the time.

 

And the nail in the coffin .....

 

4.) Studies showing that these drugs were related to dementia later in life.

 

 

 

[Guest [El...]]

My story is one that started with other psych drugs. There was a accumulation of meds in my system, mixed with years of kindling. I'm not a straightforward BZD survivor and that's why anything I write could be a complete mess if I'm not careful.

 

I agree that the basic story needs to be told, though.

 

I used to have a benzo FB page in Italian that offered info like translated articles. Today someone contacted me and said I am the reason she got off Klonopin. I'm so happy I helped at least one person.

[[Fa...]]

Like, bads I've stopped because my sleep quality was declining and I started to get nocturnal panick attacks.  As I don't have other health problems and don't use other meds I suspected that it was due to benzos. I took benzos 'on and off' over the past years for stress-induced insomnia, but never abused them. I could go months without them without any sxs. I thought I'll stop them completely to see what happens. I also didn't have any idea that quitting would be so terribly difficult.

 

[[be...]]

I stopped because I was a walking zombie with no life and I had to quit my job because I lost my creative ability and that's not so good for a journalist. I feel Oh so much better! Can't wait to get rid of the rest of my Valium.

[[ci...]]

PAIN, excruciating Pain.

[Guest [El...]]

PAIN, excruciating Pain.

 

How did you realize it was the BZD?

[[ne...]]

For me the benzo was prescribed for insomnia Temazepam 20mg for 10 yrs, they simply stopped working so I stopped them CT.  Since then almost 29 months ago I`ve had chronic muscle pains plus quite a few other nasty sxs.  Before taking them and while taking them I never had pain like I`ve experienced since.

 

[Guest [sa...]]

Doctor told me to cut 1/4 and then jump but then i had seizures and then i had to get back on them. Which made me Kindle. This happened like 3 times. Eventually i was very ill, air-hungry, all the time feeling like i was on the verge of a seizure.

 

Eventually i just want to get rid of the mess that caused me trouble and go back to normal.

 

 

Though, looking back when i used to take other benzos for insomnia, i remember i had a seizure as well, and maybe increased anxiety coupled with weird thoughts, derealization, overwhelmdness, etc.. It doesn't help that i wasn't living life very healthly during those times.