A Year out and I am almost healed.

[[Th...]]

Previously I posted under the name TheWay last year into early this year.  I had my account deleted in March so I could not be tempted to come back on this site.  I just rejoined under my current name.  For the last 4.5 months I have averaged about 5-7 hours of sleep per night.  I still get an occasional 2-4 hour night about 3 or 4 times per month.  But this is a HUGE improvement from where I was 1 year ago.  I would average about 10 hours per week if I was lucky and often would have 3 or 4 sleepless nights per week.  So sleep DOES improve with time.  All of my other symptoms went away months ago and I pretty much have my life back to the way it was before Benzos.  I am not ready to write a success story yet, but will probably in the next 6 months.  For those of you struggling, it WILL get better, it DOES get better, it just takes time and more time.  I would like to thank Aloha and Siggy for all of their support when I was at my worst.  I am doing MUCH MUCH better.  You can look up some of my old posts where I thought I had SFI and was never going to recover.  I know with more time things will continue to improve.  I ate a very clean diet for a long time, walked 2 miles every day regardless of how much sleep I got, and just stopped worrying if I slept or not.  Thanks Badsocref (sp?)  I just decided to stop caring if I slept or not, and guess what?  sleep slowly came back.  Now, even on a bad night (2-4) hours, I won't let insomnia win.  I give it the middle finger as a way to feel power over the situation.  I thank God for giving me a second chance.  Everyone heals in their own time.  I did not think I would be where I am at today, but I am almost through all of this BS.

[[bi...]]

This gives me hope. I am suffering tremendously with insomnia. Really my only symptom left. I sleep once every 3-4 days. It is a nightmare as you know. Bless you and enjoy your new life. I can't wait till this is me. I can't wait to get my life back like you are. This was very inspiring and motivational, and for that I truly thank you. I do in fact remember your posts. best regards.

[[Th...]]

Billybatts,

 

I know exactly what you are going through.  3 months to 8 months off were the worst for me.  It will start to get better.  Just give it time and don't take anything to help you sleep, even natural stuff.  I know how tempting it is.  I was there.  You don't think you can make it and then it is a year later and you can't believe how much you have improved.  I don't know how long your total insomnia will last, but it seems like the worse you have it, the faster you could recover?  Just my opinion.  Hang in there.  I will pray for your speedy recovery.

[[al...]]

Hi ThEwAy2,

Good hearing from you again and I am so happy to hear that you turned the corner and well on your way to a full recovery. You had it pretty bad there for awhile.

[[Si...]]

Hey!!! Great to hear you're doing so much better now. I knew you would start making progress at some point. We know how much doom and gloom the insomnia brings. Looking forward to when you're able to post your full success story.

[[me...]]

Thank you so much for coming back to report on your great progress! There are many here who need to hear your story.

[[Th...]]

@[ A...]

 

Thanks guys.  I never thought I was going to get better, but you were both right.  Thanks for being positive and encouraging.  I know you both went through hell too.  Siggy, glad to hear that you are better now.  I am staying completely away from alcohol.  I wasn't much of a drinker anyway.  Aloha, is your sleep back to normal now?  I sleep for 3-4 hour stretches then wake up, but usually fall back to sleep.  My sleep is still broken, but not nearly as bad as it was before.  I wake up 2 or 3 times per night average.  It has been almost 5 months now that I have been getting decent sleep almost every night.  I am hoping that this is not some very long window and that I am getting near the end.  I get really tired some days to the point where I fall asleep on the sofa and if I do have an off night I am really tired the next night and usually sleep very well sometimes 8 hours with only one wake up.  It is amazing how much better you feel and how much better life is when sleep returns.  Take care gentlemen.  I will visit back here once in awhile and I will keep my promise Aloha to help someone else.  I got a PM from someone today and replied.

[[un...]]

TheWay,

 

Thanks for reassuring us sleep will get better. Mine showed improvement for a week getting 2hrs per night and now I am 3 days straight with zero. It is brutal. What other symptoms did you have and did they all improve?  Did you experience brutal head pressure and other weird head sensations? 

 

[[Th...]]

TheWay,

 

Thanks for reassuring us sleep will get better. Mine showed improvement for a week getting 2hrs per night and now I am 3 days straight with zero. It is brutal. What other symptoms did you have and did they all improve?  Did you experience brutal head pressure and other weird head sensations?

 

It will get better...it just takes time...I would go for 3 or 4 days straight with zero sleep for almost 8 months.  Sleep came back slowly with a lot of ups and downs, sort of like the stock market.  I had horrible anxiety, claustrophobia, intrusive thoughts, paranoia, ringing ears, muscle twitches, constipation, weight loss, no appetite, panic attacks, clenched jaw, noise sensitivity, and more.  They all went away...all of them.  I have mostly good nights of sleep after 8 months of very little to no sleep.  Don't take anything to help you sleep, even though you think you might die from lack of sleep, you won't.  I never even got a cold or any sickness at all while I wasn't sleeping.  Not once and I live in the midwest and we have brutal winters and lots of sickness going around.  I wouldn't take rescue doses or anything.  Your brain needs to learn how to sleep without being "shut down" by a drug.  Just hold onto whatever you can to get through each day.  There isn't much and it does suck, but you will get through this.

[[un...]]

Thanks a lot for responding! I only take fish oil, magnesium, and sometimes melatonin. You are suggesting to drop all supplements? 

 

Geez, you had a lot of symptoms. For me it is insomnia, head pressure, anxiety and depression. Those are all very severe. I have other symptoms that I could live with like tight numb face. You never had the head pressure or burning brain? If insomnia and the head pain lessened I could work on the mood stuff a bit. Such a shitty state right now that feels never ending. 

 

 

[[Th...]]

I am not suggesting you drop supplements unless they affect your sleep.  I take a ton of supplements and I honestly think they helped me sleep better?  Others say they keep them awake?  You have to decide for yourself.  It will get better, but takes time and the only problem is we are all different and all react to drugs differently so we all heal differently and in our own time.  I wish I could say for sure by 15 months off you would be completely healed...many are, but it might take longer or be a lot shorter.  It sucks, but you will get through it and be a much stronger person that enjoys life and really appreciates it.

 

[[Ma...]]

Im over 10 months out and I see 0 Progress, I couldnt sleep last night and days I actually sleep I feel 100 times worse when I get up

[[Pi...]]

TheWay2,

I am 7 months off and had been having very light sleep with dreams for at least four months now. Are you getting deep or restorative sleep nowadays like the real sleep prior to benzo? I keeping my faith and praying that my sleep will return to normal or deep sleep as time goes on and my healing continue. I am not taking anything currently even supplements as I want my sleep to come back naturally without the aid of any sleep aid.

 

Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Sending you much love and heartfelt prayers for complete healing and recove!

 

Pi

 

 

[[at...]]

I ate a very clean diet for a long time

 

Mind expanding on the diet you followed? I have been trying to nail down the best diet for me to sleep well..

[[Ma...]]

Previously I posted under the name TheWay last year into early this year.  I had my account deleted in March so I could not be tempted to come back on this site.  I just rejoined under my current name.  For the last 4.5 months I have averaged about 5-7 hours of sleep per night.  I still get an occasional 2-4 hour night about 3 or 4 times per month.  But this is a HUGE improvement from where I was 1 year ago.  I would average about 10 hours per week if I was lucky and often would have 3 or 4 sleepless nights per week.  So sleep DOES improve with time.  All of my other symptoms went away months ago and I pretty much have my life back to the way it was before Benzos.  I am not ready to write a success story yet, but will probably in the next 6 months.  For those of you struggling, it WILL get better, it DOES get better, it just takes time and more time.  I would like to thank Aloha and Siggy for all of their support when I was at my worst.  I am doing MUCH MUCH better.  You can look up some of my old posts where I thought I had SFI and was never going to recover.  I know with more time things will continue to improve.  I ate a very clean diet for a long time, walked 2 miles every day regardless of how much sleep I got, and just stopped worrying if I slept or not.  Thanks Badsocref (sp?)  I just decided to stop caring if I slept or not, and guess what?  sleep slowly came back.  Now, even on a bad night (2-4) hours, I won't let insomnia win.  I give it the middle finger as a way to feel power over the situation.  I thank God for giving me a second chance.  Everyone heals in their own time.  I did not think I would be where I am at today, but I am almost through all of this BS.

 

Me and you have struggled in same times against insomnia.You was even in worst condition then me.I am happy to see that we are getting better in same time too.😁Sleep does come back.

[[Th...]]

TheWay2,

I am 7 months off and had been having very light sleep with dreams for at least four months now. Are you getting deep or restorative sleep nowadays like the real sleep prior to benzo? I keeping my faith and praying that my sleep will return to normal or deep sleep as time goes on and my healing continue. I am not taking anything currently even supplements as I want my sleep to come back naturally without the aid of any sleep aid.

 

Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Sending you much love and heartfelt prayers for complete healing and recove!

 

Pi

 

Pi, sorry it took so long to reply...I don't come on this site much any more.  I started sleeping better out of the blue, at about 8 months off.  I have slept pretty well now for 7 months.  I still get bad nights of 3-4 hours of sleep and sometimes I wake up 5 or 6 times per night, but I can usually fall back to sleep pretty fast.  The past few weeks I have slept almost normal (pre-benzo) getting about 7 hours each night and 3-4 hour blocks of deep restorative sleep.  I feel 100% better than I did a year ago.  I pretty much eat anything I want now, which is bad, cause I put on about 20lbs.  Sleep will return.  It is just different for everyone regarding time.  A year ago, I never thought I would get better and thought I had fatal insomnia.  A good Benzo Buddy, Aloha said it would take time and more time and he was right.  I would say I am 95% recovered in the sleep department and 100% recovered from all other symptoms and I had a ton of symptoms besides insomnia.  I am almost 15 months off now from taking 4 different benzos over an 11 week period.  My life is back to normal now and I really appreciate it.  All of things I used to take for granted, I greatly appreciate now instead.  Last night night I slept from 9:30 to 5:15 am and woke up 3 times and was probably awake for a total of 20 minutes or less combined for the 3 wake ups. 

 

One thing I did was top worrying and I stopped going on this site cause I would read other people's posts and make them my issues too.  Don't get me wrong, the people on this forum are great and they understand, so if you need to be here, stay here....they can help you through this, but I needed a break and after awhile, I didn't even think about sleeping as I would get really tired and yawn and yawn and then I would go to be and fall asleep within a few minutes sometimes.  Even before Benzos it could take me an hour to fall asleep if I was stressed out about my job, etc.  I used a bunch of sick days when I was at my worst.  I would go 3 sometimes 4 days in a row with zero sleep.  The last time I had a zero night was in April, over 6 months ago.  It will get better, you will recover.  I thank God that I did as quickly as I did and I continue to recover.  The weird thing about this whole insomnia thing is that it has a really long tail.  But I continue to see improvement.  What I mean is I will go for a stretch now of 7 -10 days of pretty normal sleep 6-7 hours per night and then maybe get a night of 4-5 hours followed by another week of 6-7 hours per night.  Once in awhile I get 8 hours.  I can live a normal life on this amount of sleep.  And you don't need 8 hours per night.  Just blocks of deep sleep even if they are only 1.5 hours long. 

 

The other thing I experienced is a lot of dreams.  REM rebound.  I dream a ton and remember lots of them

 

God's speed for a quick and full recovery.