It's amazing how this can catch up with you

[[Tw...]]

I can't even understand how last week I completed a college class and today I've almost gone to the psych ward. I literally was about to drive to the hospital but I believe I'll just have a huge bill and more drugs to worry abaout. I'm just holding at 9.3mgs in hopes that I can man this out. My sxs's are crazy muscle tension, ringing ears, weakness, panic attacks more often, confusion, lack of hunger and general anxiety like the floodgates of hell opened up. I don't want to hurt myself but I don't want to live like this. My poor family hasn't a clue how to help me and it's taking all my strength to not freak out. I just hope things subside and become tolerable soon. It's hard to breathe, neck and shoulders are so sore from being tense...God just get me through this insanity please.

[[...]]

You will only really know anything about your health once you stop tapering.

Not good to ascribe cause to what is not known.

 

[[li...]]

Understandable.

 

You've been on K for a long time, and many people who go from K to V experience problems, especially at lower doses. I don't think that the psych ward would have helped ...

[[cr...]]

I can't even understand how last week I completed a college class and today I've almost gone to the psych ward. I literally was about to drive to the hospital but I believe I'll just have a huge bill and more drugs to worry abaout. I'm just holding at 9.3mgs in hopes that I can man this out. My sxs's are crazy muscle tension, ringing ears, weakness, panic attacks more often, confusion, lack of hunger and general anxiety like the floodgates of hell opened up. I don't want to hurt myself but I don't want to live like this. My poor family hasn't a clue how to help me and it's taking all my strength to not freak out. I just hope things subside and become tolerable soon. It's hard to breathe, neck and shoulders are so sore from being tense...God just get me through this insanity please.

 

Apparently benzo tolerance withdrawal can hit you from out of nowhere. I was on Xanax for years doing fine Dr. didn't see a problem with me using it as I did not have addictive behavior. Not a very high dose once in morning and then this past December the day after Christmas of all days I was hit with the worst or maybe first REAL panic attack I have ever had. I called 911 because my chest was tight and I felt like I couldn't breath right.  They did a pulse ox reading and BP and I was fine. I elected to go to Emergency room anyway. They found nothing wrong. Many doctors to rule out common problems and nothing. So I hope this makes you feel better. I was given 2 mg of Klonopin to control symptoms and then I found I was the same or worse after a month or so. Then I started tapering. Now I seem to be hitting a wall at .5mg. The doctor who is an addiction specialist and general psychiatrist told me that this is normal at this stage of tapering to be getting some resistance. She said to just hold and give myself a break which is what I planned to do anyway. I would say hang in there. It is obviously the body adjusting. What else could it be? You drop a dose and you feel worse? I don't think so. Your brain will eventually adjust to the new dose and side effects will start to diminish and you can then try to go lower again. I know what you are going through. Tight chest muscles, in fact all muscles are tighter. Throat and jaw, arms and legs etc. I personally also feel light headed with a drugged out feeling also. That is something newer. The only thing that helps is to breathe properly and take it easy as much as you can. 

[[...]]

I don't  think you're experiencing what's called tolerance WD , IMO , just plain old WDs .....

I have experienced this and I'm doing a very slow taper , they just catch up with you one day , and Valium is hard to predict with its long half life . You can think you're doing fine and then wham...out of nowhere apparantly .

Just give your brain and nervous system some time to catch up is what id do , especially with a family and other life stuff to handle .

Have you checked out the long hold support group? Many people there having successful,tapers going slowly and holding when symptoms get too bad . Most of them feel better as they get lower in dose rather than worse , allowing their bodies to heal as they go .,

It took me some time to get behind  that idea, but at some point I realized cutting wasn't an option and it converted me to a different mindset . anyway , whatever you choose , you'll get through this , hang in there two wheels,

MiYu

[[Ca...]]

The bit you state you cant understand is -IMO, simply WD from tapering too fast for healing to keep up... -Then add some extra pressure for a week or so, and here we are...

 

When I started feeling real bad, way back when... (pre BB)

I decided not to CT...

Which left me with...

1-smaller cuts

2-holding

3-or dose correcting...

 

I held, after some jumping around blindly, which worked but took time...

I should have dose corrected...

 

Thats what I do now (all three), and its working fantastic...!! Correct, hold, smaller... How else can one fix the results of cutting too fast?? -To be able to taper AND have a life...

 

Soon I might even be able to take hollidays.. not sure im up to your snowboarding or surfing, But I do love Scuba Diving... -These are the things/thoughts that drive us forward through the rough... But we need to support our healing with realistic tapering medication levels...

For me function isnt optional, Im a full time single parent.. I couldnt afford principals that frowned on updosing or holding ones taper... And I sure as hell aint rushing forwards into post accute, or protracted...

 

Your situation has been building over time (as per posts), and sadly dwelling on it wont help... luckily you have some options, even if it means a serious talk with your Dr, or finding another supportive of a slower symptom based taper...

 

What other options are there...??

 

 

[[Tw...]]

The bit you state you cant understand is -IMO, simply WD from tapering too fast for healing to keep up... -Then add some extra pressure for a week or so, and here we are...

 

When I started feeling real bad, way back when... (pre BB)

I decided not to CT...

Which left me with...

1-smaller cuts

2-holding

3-or dose correcting...

 

I held, after some jumping around blindly, which worked but took time...

I should have dose corrected...

 

Thats what I do now (all three), and its working fantastic...!! Correct, hold, smaller... How else can one fix the results of cutting too fast?? -To be able to taper AND have a life...

 

Soon I might even be able to take hollidays.. not sure im up to your snowboarding or surfing, But I do love Scuba Diving... -These are the things/thoughts that drive us forward through the rough... But we need to support our healing with realistic tapering medication levels...

For me function isnt optional, Im a full time single parent.. I couldnt afford principals that frowned on updosing or holding ones taper... And I sure as hell aint rushing forwards into post accute, or protracted...

 

Your situation has been building over time (as per posts), and sadly dwelling on it wont help... luckily you have some options, even if it means a serious talk with your Dr, or finding another supportive of a slower symptom based taper...

 

What other options are there...??

 

Well I believe your absolutely right in your response. I contacted my doctor did a slight increase to 9.7mgs and honest to god have noticed a positive difference already. I have realized that I cannot handle stress like I normally should be able to and I am unfortunately going to have to put school off for another semester and let my body just play catch up. Maybe this was just a sign that I wasn't ready for school...so be it. Now instead of a taper schedule ill try and do a taper by how i feel routine in a few weeks. I suppose all things happen for a reason. Thank you

[[Wh...]]

Can you taper more slowly? All your symptoms sound like withdrawal.

 

Epsom salt baths can REALLY help with muscle tension. Its cheap. Soak for at least 20 mins, play some music.

 

Do you have a therapist? Therapy can help, being able to talk about you can be very beneficial.

 

Can you join a meditation group or something similar?

 

All the best, it WILL get better. *hugs*