standing before a long taper of k- need hope and encouragement

[[ne...]]

I am on 1.125 of K and moving slowly with lots of symptoms, both mental and physical. I cry when I think of how long this journey of recovery and healing might take. I am not able to work right now and I miss my job and life. Days pass slowly and I feel existentially arrested in a place of fear and discomfort. Work was a wonderful distraction when I was able to do it, but I just got too sick.

 

Can anyone from the other side of a long, symptomatic taper offer words of wisdom. Or is anyone else in a similar situation and figuring out how to cope with days on end of feeling sick and or mentally unwell. I don't recognize myself some days. It's so sad and scary.

[[Ni...]]

I am on 1.125 of K and moving slowly with lots of symptoms, both mental and physical. I cry when I think of how long this journey of recovery and healing might take. I am not able to work right now and I miss my job and life. Days pass slowly and I feel existentially arrested in a place of fear and discomfort. Work was a wonderful distraction when I was able to do it, but I just got too sick.

 

Can anyone from the other side of a long, symptomatic taper offer words of wisdom. Or is anyone else in a similar situation and figuring out how to cope with days on end of feeling sick and or mentally unwell. I don't recognize myself some days. It's so sad and scary.

 

Yes, I've been through all of that - almost exactly that - and I'm now out the other end of it; not fully healed yet - but then I was on the poison for a very long time.

 

No one will tell you this is easy. But it is very doable, one tiny step at a time - and, tiny, no matter how tiny, is good.

 

Full and total acceptance is your best stance throughout it all (that does not mean you're "settling for it"!) but, no 'struggling with it', no striving and no 'fighting' it. It takes practice to get into full acceptance, so practise it as you go.

 

All the very best

[[ne...]]

Thank you so much. I hope to hear form others. I am daunted.

[Guest [re...]]

I'm right where you are mentally and physically. Every day I feel like giving up. But somehow I push through. Every day feels like a month. It's a battle every day to keep moving forward. I'm having a huge problem accepting the symptoms and want to stop them. But I know I can't. All I can do is keep pushing day by day. I have a long way to go but I'll get there and you will too. I'm so sorry you're struggling. I can't hug you for real but here is a virtual hug 

[[Ni...]]

Thank you so much. I hope to hear form others. I am daunted.

 

YW

 

Feeling daunted is perfectly okay. It's alright to feel daunted. Let it be there, allow it - it's all "normal for this" and will fade away as time goes by.

 

Keep to your 'one tiny step', 'one day at a time' and you will have plenty of support from your Buddies here  

 

 

[[...]]

Best advice from Nightwatch ! It really isn'tit only way .... Not easy to practice tho and I resist every day until I can't any more and have to practice acceptance ....

Hang in there , you'll be ok ! MiYu

[[...]]

Even with no benzos at all, life is still unpleasent.

Expecticting otherwise is just to painfull.

 

[[si...]]

Hi Friend.  I can relate strongly to your pain and suffering.  Im just in the begining of what appears to be a long slow taper. I must make a small cut soon as i have not cut since  july 2. I cut too fast early and i think i am paying for it now. Going to try 5% cuts starting back soon. I am going to need some help figuring out how to get 5% out of a 1mg klon tablet.  I hope you have someone close to lean on and a shoulder to cry on when you need it.  Each day is like going to war and i mostly already feel defeated. But something inside keeps telling me to keep fighting. Today i went to the gym again for walking and listened to my breathing tapes and just layed in bed for peace and quiet.  My anxiety feels like everything in my guts and chest have just been thrown in a washer or dryer. its been that way for so long i dont know if it will ever calm down. Sending a hug and prayers your way. You are never alone!

[[Es...]]

I am on 1.125 of K and moving slowly with lots of symptoms, both mental and physical. I cry when I think of how long this journey of recovery and healing might take. I am not able to work right now and I miss my job and life. Days pass slowly and I feel existentially arrested in a place of fear and discomfort. Work was a wonderful distraction when I was able to do it, but I just got too sick.

 

Can anyone from the other side of a long, symptomatic taper offer words of wisdom. Or is anyone else in a similar situation and figuring out how to cope with days on end of feeling sick and or mentally unwell. I don't recognize myself some days. It's so sad and scary.

 

Live only in the present moment. The past doesn't exist. The future is not yet here. Your present determines your future.

 

"Life can only be understood backwards. But it must be lived forwards." [soren Kierkegaard]

 

Keep yourself occupied. Note down every little achievement, during the day. Like having done the dishes, the laundry. Other household chores. It wasn't the Nazis who invented the famous slogan: "Work sets you free."

 

They stole it from the German philologist Lorenz Diefenbach, who died well before WWII. This slogan was also used by a Swiss psychiatrist and neuroanatomist, August-Henri Forel. Who passed away before Hitler came to power. Nazis stole so many great ideas from the late Friedrich Nietzsche, who died in 1900. All his philosophy was the opposite of what they preached. They twisted it in the most abominable way. This is what the so called "human beings" are capable of.

 

Help someone on BB. There is no greatest happiness like being of use to anyone who's in pain. Even when you suffer. It redirects your attention from your own suffering to that of the person you help. "Utilitarianism" is an ethical theory which states that the best action is the one that maximizes utility. "Utility" is defined in various ways, usually in terms of well-being of sentient entities. It dates back to Jeremy Bentham, John Stuart Mill, Epicurus. By helping others who suffer, we help ourselves. Keep moderation with the internet, though. It's a dangerous habit, like all the social media. It is also safe not to disclose too much about yourself. Some ppl may intentionally want to hurt you. Don't be too trusting.

 

If you are able to read self-help books. Find some time during the day to read either the paperback or Kindle ones. I'm unable to read right now. I rather don't allow myself a comfort to read. I have no time for it. If you cannot read, buy yourself a pair of wireless headphones. Download Audible on your mobile and listen to them while doing household chores. The wireless headphones connect to iPhone via Bluetooth. I'm here to answer any questions concerning wireless headphones and self-help books.

 

If you're agoraphobic, buy yourself a stationary bike. Endorphins are everything.

 

Try to build some kind of support network. A support network of recovering addicts. First IRL, but also on BB. The best are ppl in your situation. Ppl who have gotten off benzos may behave in different way. They may look down on you, if they're petty ppl. If they deserve the name "human being", they won't.

 

I was off benzos for 11 yrs. I never looked down on other recovering addicts. They reminded me of my own suffering. I knew that one day, I may walk again in their shoes. Once an addict, always an addict. Without daily brainwashing and a total honesty. Everyone is prone to relapse. Some ppl are also more sick than others. Who are not able to understand it.

 

By all means, avoid toxic ppl. I have tons of books on toxic ppl and can always suggest you one. Those ppl will compromise your WD, no matter what. Avoid difficult emotions.

 

Keep a feelings diary. The best one to keep is according to Albert Ellis' REBT model. A -> B -> C. Activating Event -> Beliefs -> Consequences.

 

Try time management techniques. Assign a piece of time for any activity each day.

 

So that one activity doesn't dominate. There has to be a sort of balance, moderation. Time for work and rest. Rest always as a reward for work done.

 

If you have a passion, take tiny steps to go back to it. Passion has a lifesaving properties.

 

Find yourself a certified addiction therapist. Once a week is an optimum solution. They're available on Skype, too. It's better to see one in person, though. Group therapy for recovering addicts is also an option.

 

If you have to lie that you are clean in order to attend it. Lie that you are clean. In some AA groups, I did not have to lie. It was very liberating. To tell those ppl everything. Absolutely everything. I was never condemned or rejected. AA saved my life for 11 reasonably good yrs off benzos.

 

Check if your pdoc is really the right one for you. You've got to communicate well with them and trust them.

 

I'm here for you.

 

Take care ❤️

 

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