Life stressors are making me want to re-instate

[[Da...]]

In one week my son had a car accident, he's  fine but his car is totalled, a close friend died from a massive stroke and my husband and I are bankrupt. We stand to lose our home and it feels like our lives. My anxiety has been off the wall, I cannot function and I'm trying to hold down a full time job with great difficulty. I've rescue dosed twice with all this going on and I keep thinking about re-instating because of the anxiety, it's absolutely crippling me. My husband just doesn't understand how bad this anxiety is for me and tells me to "get a grip" on things when I just can't. I've been tapering since March and I don't want to throw it all away but I just cant go on, it feels like I'm going to die. Please help!

[[Iw...]]

Wow-definitely stress galore!  I'm amazed you are able to function let alone hold down a full time job. 

 

I'm not sure if I'm reading your signature correctly.  You started at 12mg in March of this year and you are down to 4.5 or 3.0- I don't remember now what I read.  From your description you mentioned it's tough making it from one dose to another?  Sounds like interdose withdrawal.  In my opinion, I think you may have cut too quickly which may partially account for the extreme anxiety and symptoms.  With your situation it would be tough on most anyone.  Maybe updose and hold until you stabilize and you can resolve some of your issues.  I don't  know much about the Benzo you are on but I would think it is not much different than the other poisons. 

 

Hope things resolve quickly for you and your family. 

[[Da...]]

Thanks for the input, yes my first cut was by 50% it was stupid but I didn't know any better then. Yes maybe I should updose and stabilize a bit before cutting again. It's upsetting though!

[[Iw...]]

Upsetting for sure.  But so many of us here didn't really know when we started.  Some are put on a started on rapid taper by their doctor.  Don't beat yourself up-you have enough on your plate. 

 

Wishing you the best.

[[NJ...]]

I would try to updose to where you feel stable and then hold. If you end up reinstating to your full dose don't beat yourself up. There is no shame in reinstating. I was going to a month ago but then found something that helped alleviate my symptoms. I tried to do this once before when my father was dying--that was dumb on my behalf, I couldn't taper then.

 

Good luck with all you have on your plate.

[[Da...]]

Thanks all for the advise, I have updosed to 4.5mg and will hold until I hopefully stabilize and get my life sorted out.

 

Best wishes to you all.