I feel myself with a brain part that is not me.

[[He...]]

This is what i feel at the 1 year mark.

 

Everything is gone, even the cog fog. However, my thinking process, has some elements that is not me and that I know they arrised when I was in acute, with all the mental symptoms.

 

This and sleep are my last symptoms, sleep is not perfect yet, but is good (average of 6.5h/day. Some days 7, other days 6,5.5).

 

I would like to know if anyone is experiencing this is the end of WD. And if you know anyone who is healed from this.

 

I worry if this is my new head, wired without my permission...

 

 

 

 

If this is gone, Im healed.

[Guest [vi...]]

what is the meaning of "Bad reaction to AD (or wtever) " in your signature? what was the reaction?

[[He...]]

what is the meaning of "Bad reaction to AD (or wtever) " in your signature? what was the reaction?

 

Adverse reaction

 

didnt eat, worsen all my benzo WD symptoms, new symptoms appeared, Extreme dizziness, extreme ocd started, all the last energy I had from the last month of insomnia, depression, anxiety from benzo WD went away...

 

But Im not able to know if it wa all the AD because I was also in benzo WD acute.

[Guest [vi...]]

Adverse reaction

 

didnt eat, worsen all my benzo WD symptoms, new symptoms appeared, Extreme dizziness, extreme ocd started, all the last energy I had from the last month of insomnia, depression, anxiety from benzo WD went away...

 

that is a typical AD (SSRI ) start up (2 to 3 weeks long). it would not be called an adverse reaction. but, yes, if you would protest, your doctor would definitely not insist you continue taking it.

 

But Im not able to know if it wa all the AD because I was also in benzo WD acute.

 

that is true. i once started my AD in acute too and i never felt the AD start up or the "adverse reaction" because i attributed everything to acute.

[[He...]]

Adverse reaction

 

didnt eat, worsen all my benzo WD symptoms, new symptoms appeared, Extreme dizziness, extreme ocd started, all the last energy I had from the last month of insomnia, depression, anxiety from benzo WD went away...

 

that is a typical AD (SSRI ) start up (2 to 3 weeks long). it would not be called an adverse reaction. but, yes, if you would protest, your doctor would definitely not insist you continue taking it.

 

But Im not able to know if it wa all the AD because I was also in benzo WD acute.

 

that is true. i once started my AD in acute too and i never felt the AD start up or the "adverse reaction" because i attributed everything to acute.

 

So what is a adverse reaction? Ive been under an ad before and it was not like that. In the week i took the antidepressant i had extreme muscle contraction in my head. I stoped the ad. Then ive been until now with symptoms, most of them went away.  Ive been extremely out of myself. The doc stoped the benzos and gave me an ad. Everything worsen.my thougjts became so weird and my sleep almist zero.

 

For me the ad worsen everything.

[[Gr...]]

Intrusive thoughts definitely sounds like withdrawal. 

[Guest [vi...]]

that is a typical AD (SSRI ) start up (2 to 3 weeks long). it would not be called an adverse reaction. but, yes, if you would protest, your doctor would definitely not insist you continue taking it.

 

So what is a adverse reaction? Ive been under an ad before and it was not like that. In the week i took the antidepressant i had extreme muscle contraction in my head. I stoped the ad. Then ive been until now with symptoms, most of them went away.  Ive been extremely out of myself. The doc stoped the benzos and gave me an ad. Everything worsen.my thougjts became so weird and my sleep almist zero.

 

For me the ad worsen everything.

 

see, the way i see it, if you scale your symptoms of dysphoria from 0 to 10, an SSRI will first deteriorate your symptoms by 30% -- let us assume 30% is right for the same of the argument -- and then suddenly improve it (the original dysphoric condition, not the worsened one) by 50%.

 

let us first assume you are a normal person with no complaints of dysphoria. your symptoms scale is therefore 0. an SSRI will deteriorate this by 30%, so your symptoms will now be 0. then it will improve it by 50%. your symptoms now will be 0. net result -- the SSRI has had no effect on you.

 

let us say you are mildly depressed. your symptoms therefore rate 2. with an SSRI start up this with become 2.6 (slightly noticeable). after start up, your symptoms will become 1 (you can notice the lift in depression).

 

let us say you are in benzo acute. your symptoms are thus 7. with an SSRI startup, this will become 9.1! (the symptoms increased by 2.1 instead of 0.6 in the preceding case). you will immediately freak out. (it is good you freak out because SSRIs cannot alleviate acute withdrawal dysphoria and, after start up, your symptoms will return to maybe 6, but not 3.5!)

 

generally, the more symptomatic you are on starting an SSRI, the more severe the start up will be.

 

SSRIs are effective in resolving depression from tolerance withdrawal. they are also effective in resolving depression from post acute withdrawal. but because the symptoms scale in both states is around 3 to 4, the start up is very rough and very few people are able to tolerate it. doctors never encourage patients to persist when the patient pleads unwillingness to persist with the drug. only those people who are convinced about the potential of the SSRI to alleviate their symptoms are able to get on the SSRI. (i must add here that some people will never respond to an SSRI no matter how long they persist with it. they might or might not respond to a different class of AD.)

 

SSRIs are not effective in resolving the depression of acute benzo withdrawal simply because the depression is too deep and the SSRI-relief is too little or not palpable (it fails the 50% relief promise).

 

an adverse reaction is a life threatening reaction. a benzo acute is not a life threatening reaction (not counting seizures) regardless of how uncomfortable it might feel -- but we tolerate it because we have no choice. an SSRI start up is no less uncomfortable than a benzo acute if you have started it in a very symptomatic condition -- but you have the choice to terminate it (and which most people unfortunately do).

 

examples of adverse reactions would be: severe allergy, respiratory distress, psychosis, any change in metabolism or symptoms that cannot be effectively treated by drugs (elevated blood pressure, insomnia, akathisia etc.), serotonin syndrome... it is not a surprise that benzos are often prescribed to help a patient start an SSRI and "good doctors" taper off the patient from the benzo after 2 weeks (by when start ups abate).

 

THE ABOVE IS MY LAYMAN UNDERSTANDING OF HOW SSRI START UPS WORK AND I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE RIGHT OR EVEN SCIENTIFIC.

[[He...]]

Thats true. I had about 40 symptoms, i decided to stop taking it. And it relieved lots of them.

 

Then i had the worst 6 months of my life.

 

Do you relate with what ive writen in thw first post?

[Guest [vi...]]

Do you relate with what ive writen in thw first post?

 

i am only a quarter done in my taper. i'm at least 6 months away from 0. 

[[Ex...]]

That's awesome that you are pretty much healed. I still have a couple of symptoms holding on. The mornings I still have some what blurry spots in my eyes, that clear up throughout the day.  I also still have some disconnected feelings at times, but it clears ups and I feel connected. My energy is better, but not perfect. I'm also noticing my feelings are coming back, and that's awesome. I'm at 13 months, I'm hoping by the end of the month I'm 100, I feel like I'm very close to it. When was your jump date?