Unfortunately back again in worse shape and needing advise

[[Do...]]

Hello again everybody. Been a couple of years but I'll try to summarize what's happened and I definitely need some help from anyone with some experience. So, in 2015 I did a rapid detox under anesthesia for opiate dependency of about 150-200 mg per day of oxycodone. Dr put me on high dose Valium which I tapered off quickly and fell into a deep depression totally unlike me. I ended up checking myself into a detox facility which seemed to be a waste of money but I was completely clean from everything for several months. Then I took a 3 month job in Samoa where I got dengue fever the first week. If you're not familiar with this virus it's called breakbone fever as it feels like every Bone in your body is broken. Spiked a fever of almost 107, started hemmorhaging went delirious for several days etc. Still haven't fully recovered after 2 years. Fatigue, joint pain other random symptoms. Was prescribed hydrocodone for the pain but almost instantly became addicted again although at much lower doses than before. Did some research and switched to Suboxone 2mg and tapered off over the course of 3-4 months. Here's where the real problems started. Was prescribed Klonopin 1mg 2x daily for anxiety and whatever, was not as noticeable right away but started developing strange thoughts and paranoia along with fits of rage for lack of a better term.  Became obsessed about this stupid date my wife of 15 years went on when we had only been dating for a couple weeks. So basically it didn't matter at all because at the time I was also seeing someone else. I couldn't stop thinking about the situation all the time, couldn't eat, work nothing. Finally ended up with a big fight with my wife wanting a divorce yelling and ending up going to jail overnight. While in jail they of course don't give any medication so did not take any Klonopin and haven't since the 14th. My life is a total wreck I probably lost the only woman I've ever lived and can't even visit my 2 yr old daughter. That being said I am so much more clear headed and calm now than before. I'm experiencing some withdrawal symptoms but none of the anger, nothing just sad because my family is gone. Whoever managed to read this far I sincerely thank you and am wondering if anyone has heard about this type of behavior coming from benzo use? I've read tons of articles citing similar behavior but they didn't say much about the obsessive thoughts and jealousy over nothing I was having. I'm positive it came from the Klonopin but happened so slowly I didn't figure it out until after I was forced to stop cold turkey.  Anyone ever heard of a similar experience? If so will this continue? I was only taking them for 2 months or so. Any articles or literature that anyone knows of? I'm sure that this was the drugs and not me as my wife and I have had maybe 3 Minor fights in 15 years. I would be crushed if I lose my family over these damn pills. I thank anyone in advance for whatever help you can give me.

 

 

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[[Do...]]

Anybody? I've found some information online but thought there would be a lot more practical knowledge here..thanks

[[wa...]]

Hi Doc

 

Not sure what you got off of the first time here but your immune system went through the ringer with dengue and that makes all meds difficult to deal with.  or Elon in particular, you may want to ask other Klon users here http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.msg2179478#msg2179478

WBB

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Hi there,

I was on Klonopin (Clonazepam) for 3 years. My personality before was happy go lucky, nothing got me upset and I barely lost my temper. Then Klonopin entered.  I had obsessive thoughts. I could not change them no matter what coping strategies I used. I thought I was losing my mind. I also started losing my temper about small things. I was highly agitated and I knew it wasn't me. I told my Doc but he insisted it wasn't due the the med. Boy was he wrong! Like you now that I am off I no longer lose my temper and when I do have obsessive thoughts they are usually gone within a day or two.

I'm very sorry to hear about your relationship with your wife. Hopefully you can show her through actions that you are back to your normal self. Perhaps she would be up for some couples therapy with a therapist who understands how deeply this medication effects out brain. I hope she will give you a second chance. These meds are evil and it saddens me deeply to see so many who have lost their previous lives and are in pain. Your in my thoughts 

[[SS...]]

i think it depends on how long you were using it as to what to expect.  i used valium short term - less than 3 months for a surgical recovery and ended up going into full blown withdrawal and have been in it for 9 weeks now - and i suspect many more weeks / months ahead.  it didnt hit immediately  - i would say it took a week to realize what was happening.  good luck - hopefully you will be spared