To those who have conquered agoraphobia

[[Re...]]

Did you do exposure therapy while you were tapering or after you were completely off and healed? I'm full of panic a lot even just sitting at home knowing I don't have to leave the house. Any tips are highly appreciated. Thanks

[[Te...]]

I had to get out the door because I live alone and had to walk to get groceries and run errands, and I was too embarrassed and proud to ask others to do it. Besides I didn't know my neighbors that well. I remember one time saying to myself that if it wasn't for the garbage and groceries, I'd never go out. I'd take a shower and get dressed, but stand by the door not wanting to go anywhere. I had to force myself. I really felt uncomfortable in grocery stores - the lights, the noise. Even having to go to the checkout counter was a major deal. I didn't talk or laugh with the people. I just wanted so badly to be out of there and back home to my "safe place." 

 

Gradually the agoraphobia left. I don't even remember when it completely went away, but I haven't thought about those awful times in quite awhile. I've read about people making gradual changes. Going out the door for one minute only. You could try that for a week or so, then raise the amount. Since I had to go out (had groceries delivered for awhile, but I became disillusioned with that. I didn't like the produce they were choosing), there was nothing gradual about my process. But I can tell you that I feel fine today. Those days are far behind me, and I have no trouble walking out the door now.

 

You'll get there!!  :thumbsup:

[[Ch...]]

Did you do exposure therapy while you were tapering or after you were completely off and healed? I'm full of panic a lot even just sitting at home knowing I don't have to leave the house. Any tips are highly appreciated. Thanks

 

No, I did only what I had to do outside the house, otherwise I stayed inside.  The body is in fight or flight mode and I gave in to it.  It really doesn't help to force it...we heal gradually with time and to force oneself to do things isn't helpful for most of us.

 

As Terry said, those days of agoraphobia (which I never had in my life except during my taper and for awhile afterwards) are long gone and I am out and about easily these days.

[[Ni...]]

Did you do exposure therapy while you were tapering or after you were completely off and healed? I'm full of panic a lot even just sitting at home knowing I don't have to leave the house. Any tips are highly appreciated. Thanks

 

No, I did only what I had to do outside the house, otherwise I stayed inside.  The body is in fight or flight mode and I gave in to it.  It really doesn't help to force it...we heal gradually with time and to force oneself to do things isn't helpful for most of us.

 

As Terry said, those days of agoraphobia (which I never had in my life except during my taper and for awhile afterwards) are long gone and I am out and about easily these days.

 

That!

 

[[SS...]]

so for those who no longer have this symptom - is there a time frame for when you felt it dissipated?  of course recognizing everyone is different .  this is just nuts as i was a world traveler before benzo WD and now i feel paralyzed...... i live alone so i have to force myself out to do grocery shopping and other things but i recognize every time i force myself i am creating stress which does not help..... just wondering how long this may go on for

[[Te...]]

I'm sorry, I don't know the time frame for myself. Seeing that you have to go grocery shopping as you live alone, I was the same way. It was a very gradual change, as in watching a black-and-white movie slowly shift to color. Yes, there is stress in doing it. I just got back home as quickly as possible, shut the windows so it would be entirely quiet, and stayed quiet. But it did leave entirely. It will for you, too!!

[[Ch...]]

so for those who no longer have this symptom - is there a time frame for when you felt it dissipated?  of course recognizing everyone is different .  this is just nuts as i was a world traveler before benzo WD and now i feel paralyzed...... i live alone so i have to force myself out to do grocery shopping and other things but i recognize every time i force myself i am creating stress which does not help..... just wondering how long this may go on for

 

As Terry said, it's gradual and I only noticed progress by looking back over time.

 

Let me give you a little bit of my story. 

 

I've always been very healthy, rarely missed a day of work, taught kindergarten/first graders with tons of energy while raising my own kids and pets, restoring a historic home, traveling, drove anywhere anytime with confidence and a sense of adventure....blah blah blah, you get it.

 

Then this whole dependence/withdrawal/taper thing hit and derailed my life. I searched for answers online and found this forum.  Even though I had been reading other people's posts here, I never dreamed I wouldn't be fine once I was done with my taper.  The next day I expected to be improved and in very short time, 100% again.  Long story short, it didn't happen.  This takes time.  I haven't seen anyone get over this quickly, and I've been around this forum for more than five years.

 

I think you'll find everyone here finds driving, going to the grocery store, any sort of stimulation really, problematic for awhile.  Key phrase is 'for awhile', because it will go away.  I hesitate to talk about how much I travel and get out and about these days because it's hard for some people to hear.  And I get that.  But I'm saying I've been exactly where you are and was just as afraid as you are that it wouldn't go away and I would never love life and feel easy in my own skin again.  But I am and I do and I hope that's reassuring for you to hear.

 

Acceptance of the healing process is huge.  Gigantic.  Acceptance made things go easier emotionally.  I could then, and only then, let go of impatience and frustration.

 

The other thing that helped was to allow myself to put 'me' first.  I think women in particular find that very hard.  But if you can allow yourself to do it, then you allow yourself to put a lot of unnecessary stress aside.  And stress or stimulation is what makes things feel worse during the healing process.

 

Well, I went on quite a rant. But the question 'How long does this go on?' is important.  It's alarming when you expect to get well quickly and nothing seems to be getting better very fast, if at all.

[[Ni...]]

I'm sorry, I don't know the time frame for myself. Seeing that you have to go grocery shopping as you live alone, I was the same way. It was a very gradual change, as in watching a black-and-white movie slowly shift to color. Yes, there is stress in doing it. I just got back home as quickly as possible, shut the windows so it would be entirely quiet, and stayed quiet. But it did leave entirely. It will for you, too!!

 

Thank you for that.

 

It is this is the way it seems to be happening here too. But at 12 months out, I am not free of it and I had expected it would not be an issue by now.

 

As we all know, it is very difficult to imagine being free of any given symptom while still plagued by it - and the longer in it, the more embedded it feels.

 

So thank you for your insight - it means a lot.

[[Ni...]]

 

As Terry said, it's gradual and I only noticed progress by looking back over time.

Let me give you a little bit of my story. 

 

I've always been very healthy, rarely missed a day of work, taught kindergarten/first graders with tons of energy while raising my own kids and pets, restoring a historic home, traveling, drove anywhere anytime with confidence and a sense of adventure....blah blah blah, you get it.

 

Then this whole dependence/withdrawal/taper thing hit and derailed my life. I searched for answers online and found this forum.  Even though I had been reading other people's posts here, I never dreamed I wouldn't be fine once I was done with my taper.  The next day I expected to be improved and in very short time, 100% again.  Long story short, it didn't happen.  This takes time.  I haven't seen anyone get over this quickly, and I've been around this forum for more than five years.

 

I think you'll find everyone here finds driving, going to the grocery store, any sort of stimulation really, problematic for awhile.  Key phrase is 'for awhile', because it will go away.  I hesitate to talk about how much I travel and get out and about these days because it's hard for some people to hear.  And I get that.  But I'm saying I've been exactly where you are and was just as afraid as you are that it wouldn't go away and I would never love life and feel easy in my own skin again.  But I am and I do and I hope that's reassuring for you to hear.

Acceptance of the healing process is huge.  Gigantic.  Acceptance made things go easier emotionally.  I could then, and only then, let go of impatience and frustration.

 

The other thing that helped was to allow myself to put 'me' first.  I think women in particular find that very hard.  But if you can allow yourself to do it, then you allow yourself to put a lot of unnecessary stress aside.  And stress or stimulation is what makes things feel worse during the healing process.

 

Well, I went on quite a rant. But the question 'How long does this go on?' is important.  It's alarming when you expect to get well quickly and nothing seems to be getting better very fast, if at all.

 

You should write the book, Challis

 

Many thanks for your understanding and patience

[[Te...]]

You're welcome, NightWatch!! 

[[Re...]]

Thanks for all the replies guys! it gives me hope!

[[Re...]]

As Challis said: "Acceptance of the healing process is huge.  Gigantic.  Acceptance made things go easier emotionally.  I could then, and only then, let go of impatience and frustration."

 

This! So much this! I know acceptance is hard but when we fight reality we cause more suffering for ourselves. I've had the hardest time accepting this benzo nightmare. Right now I'm in a window from some of my symptoms and the hopelessness has lifted just enough for me to know that I will make it through this and I will be my old social self again.

[[Ch...]]

As Challis said: "Acceptance of the healing process is huge.  Gigantic.  Acceptance made things go easier emotionally.  I could then, and only then, let go of impatience and frustration."

 

This! So much this! I know acceptance is hard but when we fight reality we cause more suffering for ourselves. I've had the hardest time accepting this benzo nightmare. Right now I'm in a window from some of my symptoms and the hopelessness has lifted just enough for me to know that I will make it through this and I will be my old social self again.

 

You will, and it's worth waiting for...most of us feel we've come out the 'other side' even better versions of our old selves.

 

[[Re...]]

As Challis said: "Acceptance of the healing process is huge.  Gigantic.  Acceptance made things go easier emotionally.  I could then, and only then, let go of impatience and frustration."

 

This! So much this! I know acceptance is hard but when we fight reality we cause more suffering for ourselves. I've had the hardest time accepting this benzo nightmare. Right now I'm in a window from some of my symptoms and the hopelessness has lifted just enough for me to know that I will make it through this and I will be my old social self again.

 

You will, and it's worth waiting for...most of us feel we've come out the 'other side' even better versions of our old selves.

 

 

Why are my eyes leaking?! *Tears of joy*