Please help with tapering off Xanax nightly for 6 years =(

[[Th...]]

Hello BB,

I'm trying to turn a new leaf in my life, want to live healthy, eat healthy and quit my bad habits. I'm 31 now, I'm a cigarette smoker of 15 years,  and dependent to Xanax to sleep for about 6 to 7 years. I started Xanax because I was diagnosed with panic disorder, then found a psychiatrist who prescribed me Clonazepam instead (Which luckily never became dependant of). I know I do suffer from getting nervous for everything easily, and I over think every scenario, especially the bad ones. Always have, since I was a child. I've always suffered from light tremors, even before my dependency. So when prescribed I thought Xanax and Clonazepam both made me feel "normal". Watching both my Grandmother and Mother take Xanax growing up to sleep, never thought this process was even something that exists. Until now, that I want to "live clean". Once prior, without even knowing I went through W/D's, I was in the hospital with pneumonia, and after not dosing 4 to 5 days, all the withdrawals hit me hard, I had no idea what was happening until my husband put thought into it, and told me "hey, do you think it might be W/D's?" That's when I researched it, and found that it was, and my immediate solution was to reinstate, and so I did. I regret that now. I was 5 days in. But I was in agony, I was having severe tremors. I also felt severe heart palpataions and my arms and legs had this numbing tingling sensation, that made me feel like I was going into a heart attack or something. At that moment the very fear of God was instilled in me, still is, even though that was about 5 years ago. I ignored It, stopped educating myself (young and stupid) and kept it going. Even upped my dosage. For the last couple of years I started taking 4mg (2/2mg bars once every night) just so I can sleep well, as I've always been a light sleeper too. Never put much thought into it, just knew I always needed to have them. I guess you can say I was in complete denial, until recently, that I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia again. This time, I wanna get off of EVERYTHING. So, my journey has begun of tapering since the beginning of July. I went down to 2.5 mg immediately upon discharge early/mid July, and went down another quarter to 2.25 mg about 8 days ago. I have felt "mild" W/D's (jaw clenching, restless sleep, and some muscle spasms) while tapering in comparison to the first time that I went cold turkey. As much as I want to just leave it at once, I know it's not wise, and I plan to continue my tapering as fast as my body allows me to, without feeling unbearable discomfort. One of my biggest fears is losing my new, and dream job that I recently started, because of what's still to come. Its a high stress enviorment, but I've always loved it, regardless. Its very sensitive. Everyone would notice if I'm having tremors, and panic attacks, it's a very small office. I plan to continue my tapering cutting another .25mg this upcoming week, bringing me to 2 mgs (1 bar), 50% taper of the 4mgs (2 bars) that I was initially used to, within a spam of less than 2 months, which I know sounds a bit fast, but if my body can deal, then I should continue it at this rate, right? I just want to be done, but I'm so so so scared. The more I read, the more I over think it. The more I feel. And now im at a point where its the only thing I think about, which is very tormenting. I'm so scared to feel the way I did the first time around. I don't doubt I can heal, I have no doubt I can stop, I have no doubt that I can endure, what I doubt is going through this, all while trying to keep my job. I have two children depending on my husband and I, having a job. Is there anyone who was able to hold down a new job while going through W/D's? I've read so many stories where they all lost there jobs whilst going through this process. Any comforting words are much appreciated. Thank you, and good luck to all who are going through this hell.

[[Ch...]]

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, Thedarkpassenger.

 

Benzodiazepines work very effectively until they don't, and then we're left with a dependency that not only gives no therapeutic benefit but starts to cause negative side effects.  At that point we can either go up in dose, stay at the same unproductive dose or get off.  Sounds like that's where you are in this.

 

Here are a couple of boards to begin posting:

 

General Taper Plans 

Withdrawal Support 

 

When you have a chance, I highly recommend that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr. C. Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations on the reasons for their existence.

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

I've edited the harm comments from your introduction, and we ask that our members not post about this subject due to the vulnerability of our membership.  Thank you.

 

Self Harm and Ideation-Revised Policy

 

Take care,

Challis 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hello there,

 

I've recently completed my taper of xanax.  I was on it a very long time and ended at 8mgs/day.  I did not work full time or have children to care for but did manage to handle a part-time business and many other responsibilities.  I think you can do this.  It's a matter of tapering at a rate that keeps symptoms low - a rate that your brain can adjust to as you go down.  It may take you longer than you would like but doing it this way allowed me to live a full life.  I had some down time but it was not too often.

 

It's important to listen to your body and adjust your taper rate if symptoms start ramping up too much and impairing your abilities.  Tapering will bring withdrawal symptoms but you can keep them manageable by going at the pace your brain can handle.  I went way too fast at the beginning of my taper but later was able to slow it down to a rate that produced fairly mild symptoms for the most part.  Just try not to let symptoms get out of hand.  Be aware that prior cuts can sometimes catch up with you and you can get a significant escalation even if you are not increasing your cuts.  It's a good idea to allow sufficient time between cuts to make sure that you have experienced all the withdrawal from each cut before you cut more.

 

Best of luck to you.

[[Th...]]

Thank you very much, I very much appreciate your advise and kind words.