Anyone have that same nagging question?

[[HI...]]

Hello,

  New member here beginning my search for hope.  I was on clonazepam for 2 1/2 years at last dose of .5mg twice daily.  I did a rapid taper.  I am now 4 months benzo free.  After joining this forum I did what many of you have probably done.  Searched through Success Stories for healing times in the 6 month to 8 month range.  And WOW!!  I went back all the way to 2010 and could not find a single case.  I am deeply saddened by the obvious.  Anyone who has claimed healing in that time frame almost always has a follow up post shortly thereafter that they are again fully symptomatic.  I was so optimistic and now a bit deflated.  I had been following Jennifer Leigh and saw last week she just went into another wave after 6 years....sad.  This forum is full of Warriors.  I have figured out relatively quickly that this may be a forum of only people who are protracted.  Maybe everyone becomes protracted.  Sad....

[[tr...]]

Can't believe how ill I have been since my jump: so, so scary: 90 plus days now!

[[ed...]]

Those who are fully healed in short order usually go on to live their lives and unfortunately don't write stories.  Don't give up hope.

[[ly...]]

 

 

I agree with Ed.  I think it's the minority that have protracted and that people doing well simply move on with their lives.  BB can be an unwelcome reminder of an awful tapering experience.  I would also guess that some may be a little hesitant to post of doing well when so many here are miserable.  It's important to stay as positive as you can and to think the best will happen.

 

I'll be posting a success story at 2 months.

[[nh...]]

So like me almost being a year off is not normal still suffering greatly?

[[so...]]

The process of upregulating the gaba receptors takes much longer than 6-8 months to complete, regardless of what some success stories claim.  Most people who write success stories proclaiming early healing do not come back on this forum to post they were mistaken.  They either join other forums on FB or the internet, or they continue going to doctors to try to figure out what, besides withdrawal, is REALLY wrong with them.  The reality is they haven't healed yet.  I applaud those people who do come back on this forum and say they have not healed yet, like they posted in their success stories.  It gives the rest of us, who are still in this, relief that we are not broken and that we haven't incurred "permanent damage."

 

The Ashton manual quotes healing timeframes that are incorrect.  Ashton did not follow her patients beyond a limited period because she did not have the funding to do so.  There is no scientific study that has ever been conducted that has established factual data that is accurate.  Benzo Buddies is the largest body of anecdotal evidence we have and it too is flawed because people leave the forum and are not tracked beyond their limited participation on this site.

 

Just have faith that you are following the normal course of withdrawal/recovery if you are off all meds and are not ingesting anything that would prolong your recovery beyond the "norm." 

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

Another reassuring thing to keep in mind is that, no matter how long recovery takes, you will not feel as bad as you do right now.  As time passes, and more and more healing takes place, you feel better and better.  You won't feel sick like THIS for the duration of your recovery.  Everything starts diminishing as your gaba receptors slowly start upregulating.  You will be fine.  You will heal 100%.

 

Sofa

[[HI...]]

I appreciate all the support.  Just my cursory observation of the data on this site is discouraging in terms of healing time frames.  It would one thing to see that people trend towards healing or at least live with decreasing symptoms as time passes and slowly regain funtionality.

[[Co...]]

Buddies,

 

Another reassuring thing to keep in mind is that, no matter how long recovery takes, you will not feel as bad as you do right now.  As time passes, and more and more healing takes place, you feel better and better.  You won't feel sick like THIS for the duration of your recovery.  Everything starts diminishing as your gaba receptors slowly start upregulating.  You will be fine.  You will heal 100%.

 

Sofa

 

Thanks for that, Sofa. 

[[Ol...]]

I also agree with Ed! If you felt amazing, would you rather be laying on a beach in Thailand or hiking in some beautiful forest, or would you be on your bed in your room writing about it on BB? We come here because we need some reassurance that we are not alone. I am extremely grateful for the folks who do come back to share their successes, but I feel pretty sure that they are in the minority, as most of them probably get on with their lives without looking back. Also, I empathize with those who simply can't bear to come back to all of this pain. And then there are the ones who taper so easily that they never needed to come here at in the first place! (Like my bf, the scoundrel!) I vow to write a dashing success story when I am through this long tunnel!

[[me...]]

Those who are fully healed in short order usually go on to live their lives and unfortunately don't write stories.  Don't give up hope.

 

This is true.  Also, many who don't have difficult withdrawals never sign up here, and if they do, they soon leave when they're feeling better.  We tend to attract the worst cases, it's just the nature of this forum.  Also, first withdrawals tend to be relatively "easy" in many cases, mine was.  Many here have had multiple withdrawals, are on other medications, etc, all of which can prolong and complicate one's timeline.

[[SS...]]

the time frames are incredibly disheartening.  but i do believe we have to keep believing we will heal as fast as our bodies are capable and that it will happen.  i think it would be easier if someone could just give us a number.  even if that number was 24 months - you'd have something to count on and look forward to.  last night may have been the worst night in my 46 days off.  it was my birthday and i ate a piece of gluten cake.  i have been gluten free since starting this.  i had a horrible reaction where it felt like there was 10,000 pounds of excitable pressure within my body that needed to be released.... i felt manic/ hysterical and sat on my couch shaking the whole night .  the insomnia makes all this worse. 

 

i think those of us who are in this boat have really tough genetics.  if you haven't had your genetics done - it may be a worthwhile $100 for 23andme.  I had my genetics done years before that existed but for those who have MAO or COMT gene defects - our bodies cannot either build or break down neurotransmitters - so we have the drug the messed up our brains coupled with genetics that really delay healing.

 

last week i finally got myself to the point of acceptance - i stopped researching supplements or treatments that might speed this up.  it was sort of a relief to accept that this is a matter of time.  now the issue is figuring out triggers and avoid those as best as i can.  exercise used to be my huge stress relief outlet prior to being exposed to benzos.  now - it seems to create too much excitement in my body and is counterproductive - even though so many others talk about how much it helps them.  i guess we are all different and need to find our own way - with the support of other people going through it.

[[jr...]]

The only problem with sucess stories are that they may not be permanent. I could have wrote such a story at 3 months but at 7 months, my sxs have reappeared. But keep in mind that being off is 100 times better than being on.I have to believe that time is the healer but if not , I will trudge on because I will never ever take another benzo!!!

[[ca...]]

There is no way that anyone can take this stuff and not suffer the consequenses! My theory is that most people think that they are having issues unrelated to these drugs. Thier doctors aren't going to tell them any different. If it hadn't been for my personal research, I wouldn't be on here sharing my experience and seeking for answers. Nobody knows how this stuff will affect you but in time your neurons will heal and life will return to normal. That doesn't mean that you won't have something flare up maybe years from now and hit you completely by surprise.  I'm learning this as I go. I'm coming up on 3 years off. I am feeling better as time goes by but I do get a symptom or two that hits me but lasts for maybe half a day at most and sems to be less and less intense. It still botthers me and causes a little anxiety at the time but it is at least more controllable.  I understand your frustration because was and am there myself.Don't let anybody tell you that this isn't  benzo related unless you have other prescriptions that you are either on or tapering from. Set a goal and stick to it. That will help you in the long run!

[[gu...]]

What's bugs me is that I felt like I was really getting better and better across time… Even understanding the occurrence of my waves and what to do with them. Now at eight months I'm having a wave so much worse than anything I've had in a really long time! Although I have read that setbacks are normal, even setbacks that feel like you've gone back to the beginning. I've also read that healing is occurring even during those setbacks. Just could use a couple words of encouragement.  At this moment it has not gotten easier with time.